Monthly Archives: March 2007

Parenting Info That is Actually Useful

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Many (if not most) baby/parenting books seem to emphasize their methodology to the point of threatening your child will be scarred if their method is not used (Catherine mentioned this at the end of February).

As a ray of sensible Spring sunshine, I offer today a list of books that are both useful and positive. No guilt-trips here (unless they’re carry-ons), and instantly usable information.

Rather cold toward co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding, but very sensibly combines the ideas of flexibly and scheduling for your baby.

Also offers “rescues” for correcting mistakes entrenched by “accidental parenting.” The original book is most accessible to new and/or 1st time parents, the other offers some more detailed approaches to specific problems.

I got this information from a class that then sent this DVD home with you. If you are afraid of colic (or think your baby has it) the techniques demonstrated here could greatly reduce your stress-level.

Demonstrates how to engage a baby’s calming reflex (did you know babies have a reflex to calm themselves like they have a rooting reflex when they’re born?).

Solid information about sleep itself to help guide expectations, and a detailed methodology of finding and implementing the possible solutions collected in the books.

The information is presented in a gentle, conversational way. The author acknowledges making the changes will require additional energy from already-sapped resources, and somehow that endeared her to me.

Simply the best book to give to your pregnant friend in her third-trimester or to any woman who’s just given birth. If it doesn’t cover everything, it does cover more than any other post-partum book I’ve seen.

Understanding the difference between disobedience and the process of growing independence. Discovering potential and clarifying expectations. Creating a sense of family. I really appreciated it.

Maybe some reviewer on Amazon can articulate it better, but this is definitely a user-friendly “keeper.”

A practical book presenting techniques for organizing and motivating your professional choice of stay-at-home mothering.

These are the books that work for me. For more ideas visit Rocks in my Dryer.

A New Perspective on Spending Time with God

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Some of you who read this blog know I was raised in the Church, and have always struggled with how much… whatever I was “supposed” to do. Fill-in-the-blank for whatever: Bible-reading, “quiet time,” prayer, service.

I have not, like some Christians, ever felt compelled by my church to do more. I only see new perspectives that make me reevaluate what I might be doing, or not doing.

(If you’ve been hanging out a while you’re probably also aware that “reevaluation” is for me sort of a cross between a running-gag and a need in my mind).

Right now I’m thinking about “spending time with God,” something that (rightly) is portrayed as necessary for spiritual growth, and frequently seems to involve chunks of time alone.

I am not the only mother of pre-schoolers to confess this is not a regular practice.

At a new bible study group I visited yesterday, the study-book brought up the image of God waiting for us to join Him in a special meeting place, and of Him missing us when we don’t show up.

The point was to see God as someone who values us and wants to spend “quality time” together. The idea that the interaction is not just for our benefit. It is a thought-provoking image. And a guilt-inducing one.

I had a new image come to me today (for any, like me, who have seen a certain part of the Lord of the Rings audio commentary).

What if, instead of a meeting in the drawing room, tête-à-tête by the fire, our relationship with the Lord was represented by something more like Frodo and Sam– a quester and his “back-man.”

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Tam Lin– a Tuesday Tale

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(While I know this will be very familiar in some circles, it is clearly not known to the population at large. It ought to be. Naturally this is just one version out of many.)

A handsome young man was being held captive by the fairy folk. Tam Lin had been a favorite of the Queen’s for some time but she had finally found a new toy, and Tam Lin was to be the fairies’ next human sacrifice.

He met in secret with his lady, Byrd Janet, and told her what would happen, begging her to be brave enough to rescue him from his fate. Giving her detailed instructions about how to identify him among the crowd, he explained what would happen.

On All Hallows Eve Byrd Janet was to make a circle of holy water to stand in for protection, then watch the procession of the fairy folk. She must let the riders of the black horse and the brown horse pass by. Tam Lin would be riding the third– a white horse. Janet was to run to him, pull him down from the horse, and hold him; no matter what might happen.

He warned her the fairies would change his shape in her arms, but she must never let go, until she could render him human again.

It all happened as he had described.

When Byrd Janet pulled Tan Lin from his horse the entire procession halted. The folk gathered all about, trying their magic on Tam Lin. They turned him into freezing ice, a poisonous serpent, and a struggling dove who almost escaped.

Tam Lin was brought through a surging struggle of transformations until the fairies turned him into a piece of red-hot iron.

With this in her arms, Byrd Janet rushed to a nearby well and cast it in, revealing her beloved, naked, in his true form. She threw her green mantle around him, covering his nakedness and claiming him.

At this there was a great grief and wailing among the fairy folk, and their Queen declaimed in verse that she would have blinded Tam Lin, or exchanged his heart of flesh for a heart of stone, rather than lose so fair a knight to a mortal girl.

On my mind

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Stream-of-consciousness list.

  • Story for tomorrow’s post
  • Table book someone loaned me at church
  • *fussy* discontented boy in my lap
  • Jay does this with the baby too: Boy’s not happy anyway? I’ll just do what I want.
  • *cluttered* house
  • not wanting to scrape dinner together
  • run-down being up multiple times with babay
  • new bible study this morning
  • needing to find/call for info they asked from me
  • What is my Bible time supposed to look like?
  • Psalm 61 today. Read it out loud. Perfect for now. Love the line, “You’ve given me the heritage of those who fear your name.”
  • Lack of sleep
  • Guess there is one much-better-than-slapped-together dinner that wouldn’t be to awful to work on. (Bonus: it’s Jay’s favorite soup.)
  • Oh. And I promised Melody I’d make ice cream for dessert. That’s not so awful. I like ice cream.
  • I’ll try walking the boy again…

Movie Weaknesses

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In my 100-Things post I almost didn’t include movies #9 and #10, because I don’t believe they are for general consumption. But I did enjoy them.

I am blessed (yes, I do count it a blessing) to have a husband who enjoys “snuggly movies” (romantic comedies) with me, even though I won’t watch certain things with him (He loved the Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I don’t watch R-rated movies). I’m glad he doesn’t keep score.

Anyway, we’ve had a string of -13s we’ve watched where we enjoyed the story, but each had a distinct drawback that keeps it from being fully recommendable:

  • Hitch (#9)– great angle about being detailed and conscientious in relationships. Ruined by gratuitous course language. Not something we are willing to own.
  • Bewitched (#10)– Sweet story about being genuine; and as most of the magic is “fairytale” stuff (as opposed to darkly empowered), we chose to buy that one. But I don’t like the “hex” scene, with the dancing around a cauldron (and a few lines of dialogue the hex inspired). I choose to skip those.
  • Mr. & Mrs. Smith was a Jay choice– I was pleased to finally have something of his to agree to– and the story itself was fascinating, but the spouse-to-spouse pummeling was just too much for me.
  • Music and Lyrics was what we saw yesterday. Jay and I had the same sort of reaction: That was so. fun. but…

The largest drawback here was the overt sexuality of the young female singer, who was shown several times dancing around in next-to-nothing.

I told Jay we ought to buy it anyway and he could just use his media program to edit those scenes out. Especially since there’s stuff in it we really liked.

He’s still thinking about it.

Finding Motivation in a Movie

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What Jay and I loved in the movie Music and Lyrics was the nuts and bolts of the musical elements.

If you don’t know already, the movie centers around an 80s has-been singer’s need to write a song in x-days for a currently popular singer, in order to revitalize his career. Add a female lyricist and you’ve got your forced interaction for your RomCom.

What none of the trailers (or even the set-up in the movie itself) prepared us for was the creating of the “demo” song.

That might have been the 2nd or 3rd greatest part in the whole movie (and there were some good lines).

You get to watch the guy playing each of the instruments, one after the other, and building the accompaniment track that the pair than sings their demo duet over.

Watching that, Jay was re-inspired to get back to playing piano. And wanting me to do more regular work on guitar.

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The State of my House

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I’m so glad this isn’t a photo-blog. I’d be tempted to share the disaster area that is currently my house.  I just found a quote (don’t even know the person who said it, but that’s beside the point) and had to share:

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to your door, greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies.”

Phyllis Diller

In Defense of “Movie” Dates

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When I was in high school it was very common for groups of friends to go to see movies together.

It was also common for my mother to make a remark like, “Why spend your time at a movie? There’s no interaction!”

I only did one or two visits a year to the movie theater back then. Still averaging that now, but in anticipation of my first post-baby visit, (and my first “date” since I-can’t-remember-when) I will list my reasons for watching movies not-alone.

  • Quiet “being” time
    • Yes, I know there are other types, but we enjoy having a variety of ice cream flavors too.
  • A shared “experience”
    • While it is all imaginary, it is, especially if well-told, a Story after all. And the purpose of a story is to understand or experience something by being put into it.
    • It was Nora Whats-her-name (the directer of You’ve Got Mail and other things) who said the appeal (or even thrill) of romantic comedies isn’t in their originality. It’s in their ability to recreate for the viewer an echo of the excitement of her/his own experience, bringing the memory into sharper focus– recreating the emotional potency.

    (I love that. I started paying attention and now think it’s largely true.)

  • Observation
    • When I saw the first Pirates movie, I instantly knew I wanted to be with my dad when he saw Jack Sparrow coming into port at the beginning. I wanted to watch him watching that whole sequence that followed.

    (Knowing him, I guessed he would enjoy it, and I suppose I’ve never outgrown a daughter’s natural delight in her father’s laughter)

    Continue reading »

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful…

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But how did I end up in the “international” list for the prize drawing???

Oh dear.

I signed up for last week’s blog party, and like nearly 1000 other bloggers eagerly scanned the list of cool prizes being offered to partygoers. As many of them did, I dreamed up a “wish list” of my absolute favorites, in case I was drawn. I also mentioned I was in Alaska.

~ ~ ~

Here’s a quick reference chart (though it’s largely irrelevant I almost included it as a “public service announcement” in my intro post):

AK is not Arkansas, its Alaska
AR is not Arizona, its Arkansas
AZ is Arizona.

We’re all America, USPS ships to all three, and while mail can take a little longer to get up here, it is not much more expensive.

~ ~ ~

I hope in the future being non-contiguous won’t exclude the 49th state from the awesome prizes offered for American bloggers. (Another idea would be letting small, mailable things like gift-cards be an option for us “INTL” folk)

*sigh*

I don’t mean it in a nasty way. It’s always fun to hear you’ve won something, but this is a little like having someone offer to buy you their favorite painting…

Anyway, had a lovely time cruising new sites during the party, I think I picked up at least two new reads.

And if there is some sadly disappointed INTL blogger who would like my on-line prize-pack, leave a comment (find me a dog if you’re feeling really generous) and we’ll call it even.

Returning Light

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There is something special about this time of year; the light is bright when we wake up, and lasts long enough for it to be worth reopening the drapes when afternoon nap is over.

This is also the time of year when sunglasses are the most useful (if one remembers to keep them handy), since, in addition to the clear brightness of day we have the reflecting expanse of white everywhere.

I don’t feel myself greatly affected by the diminishing light toward the end of the year (not as some do, anyway) but I am distinctly aware of the growing spring-brightness.

I have more energy, and really do feel hope rising in my spirit– as if I actually felt relief at the promise spring will return again this year.