I absolutely cannot remember where I read/heard this, but here’s how my memory plays it:
I don’t want to.
I don’t even want to want to.
But I do want to want to want to.
And that is a starting place.
I haven’t got any further in the deciding how much my will determines my own doings/ability. But I am being reminded about the faithfulness of God in the midst of our foolish confusions.
A young man and his old father worked their farm together with no ill-feeling or complaint.
When the young man took it into his head to marry, life only improved (there finally being a proper cook about the place).
It wasn’t until a full year after the marriage, at the birth of a little baby boy, that the young man began to show a change in character; for now he, full and sudden, felt the heaviness of fatherhood fall on him.
That weight of responsibility caused him to become more and more critical of his own father, who was only growing less strong and able to help with necessary work.
Finally, the young man ordered his sweet wife to fetch a blanket and send it with the old man to the poorhouse.
In those days, blankets were often woven double long, in order that they might be doubled on the bed for extra warmth.
When the young man saw the good work that his wife had made, it went to his heart to send the whole thing off with a worthless old man, and he ordered her to cut it in half.
“Half a blanket will be enough for him.”
Young Mary, who disapproved of the whole event began to argue,
When up from the cradle by the fire piped the voice of the tiny infant.
“Mother,” he chirruped, “You do as Father says. And lay that other half safely by, so I know where it is when the time comes to pack my father off to the poorhouse.”
You can imagine that changed the young father’s outlook pretty quickly, and he realized the old man still had at least one job left to his old age.
He would help his grandson learn to care for his elders.
~ ~ ~
One other submission today:
A tale from Hindu mythology called The Wasted Sermon
Hmmm— So, I just found-out what all these 100-things lists are that I’ve seen on a bunch of blogs.
Apparently the list is supposed to coincide with one’s 100th post. So I’m quite late.
It is, I think, the ultimate vanity. But as that is largely the purpose of blogs anyway, I see that fact being constantly forgiven/indulged.
So, craving the same patience of my readers (and largely because Jay has asked me to make an annual habit of self-description–!– as a reference, I suppose) I present my 100 things.
A. The things I pray most frequently:
B. Four Things I miss about growing up:
C. Five things about my family:
D. Ten things I like to do (in no particular order):
E. Ten favorite movies:
F. Ten favorite books, or, The minimum I’d want to start over with after a fire:
G. Nine Favorites:
H. Ten verses/passages underlined in my bible:
I. Ten things I don’t like:
J. Ten random things about me:
I declaim frequently that we (as free human beings) really do do what it is we want to.
As in, I really wanted to write a novel in a month. This I did.
A friend I greatly admire (who has a B.S. in Engineering) wanted to stay home once her first child was born. Her husband (degree in Wildlife Management) chose not to work in his field of study because it meant too much time away from his family. They now live (contentedly) in a dry cabin with two children under age 5.
They really wanted to have a homebody lifestyle, and have found a way to do it on their income.
My grandmother (just like me, or I just like her, as you like it) had 3 children in less than four years. Unlike me she didn’t get much help from her husband who always worked more than one job, all physically demanding. This while living in a small house under construction for years.
She stayed up late after the children were sleeping in order to clean and have a tidy home.
What you really want to do, you will find a way to do.
Since this is the thought I subscribe to, I have to admit when I “can’t” do something I want to do, that it is because I don’t want it enough.
(Following so far?)
This creates a lot of pressure on me. But it is legitimate pressure most of the time. I think we cut ourselves way too much slack generally when it comes to stuff we don’t do. Continue reading
My current problem with organizing my story is that I have two villains. And they are by no means equal. There is this hope, once the protagonist vanquishes the larger foe, that the lesser one will hold no more terror.
What is a Lizard compared with a stallion?
But this would then mean the terrifically poetic ending I have found for the lesser would be something like overkill.
~ ~ ~
I think there is a tendency in some genres to consider lesser foes as nothing, once larger obstacles (or evils) have been overcome… but this isn’t very true-to-life, is it?
Unless one was very confused or dishonest to begin with, a mere revelation or lucky streak at the climax isn’t going to remove previously insurmountable difficulties.
Writing is good for me. I’m beginning to know what to do with this.
~ ~ ~
(And on a side note, I may be posting less than in the last month or two– I’ve been doing nearly daily posts– as I knuckle down to ironing this project. I have a real opportunity coming up in September, and I think I’d be a poor steward if I didn’t do what I can to make the most of it.)
Just put me in Bloglines or something, if you’re afraid of wasting your time. I thought I was going to swear off blogging in November too– and it’s obvious that didn’t happen.
Some highlights (October 2006 to January 2007):
In case you somehow missed the gobbbbs of buttons around bloggyland, there is a party going on over at 5 Minutes for Mom.
This is my “invite” post, to introduce myself and encourage you to take a look around.
I have sometimes in quiet, fearful, moments prayed that I be the first in my marriage to die.
Today I met the blog of a woman who knows she will be.
Please pray for us, and for my family especially. My part in all of this is rather easy. I get to die and be with my Savior in glory. I get to miss out on all the suffering this world holds. It is my family who bear the grief and the pain day in and day out. It is for them that my heart breaks.
Hold your loved ones a little closer for me today. Live life a little more — wear your dressy clothes around the house just because life is really short and stains don’t really matter. Don’t get impatient about the little things.
Someday we’ll understand why.
I am lifting her and her family in prayer today. Facing one’s own mortality takes one type of bravery. Knowing what you are leaving your family to experience without you and your strength demands additional courage.
Currently Reading
Orthodoxy
By G. K. Chesterton
Ahhh… Back to my reading list.
I’ve barely got through the introduction and I’m already wishing to quote large chunks of this fellow. He makes me laugh, and I like his analogies.
He reads rather like a blogger, which should be no surprise since he was a journalist and a debater for pleasure. He seems almost (again, like a blogger) to have unrestricted printing access. This makes him very free with word-count and self-amusing asides.
This book, Chesterton says, grew out of a challenge that the last book he wrote was incomplete in its scope.
It was perhaps an incautious suggestion to make to a person only too ready to write books upon the feeblest provocation.
Two things so far have caught my mind.
First, the (every) writer’s reality of rediscovering what (really) is already known,
I am the man who with the utmost daring discovered what had been discovered before…. [This book] recounts my elephantine adventures in pursuit of the obvious.
And second, the question for both philosophers and writers:
How can we contrive to be at once astonished at the world and yet at home in it? Continue reading