Category Archives: Personal

About me and/or for my benefit

Folk-Tale Wisdom

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I think one of my favorite lines for myself is from the Russian Cinderella story.

This version has the orphaned daughter (Vasalisa) being helped by a little doll her mother gave her. Every time the evil steps give her some impossible task, Vasalisa pours out her heart to the doll who tells her to rest.

“Morning is Wiser than the evening,” the doll always says.

And, of course, by morning the doll has worked some magic or called some creatures to her girl’s aid, reducing the problem to almost nothing.

So often I find that if I will just give over dwelling on my problem(s) and actually rest, I find the morning really is wiser than the evening– and that is even without magical assistance.

Though, probably not without divine assistance.

A New Perspective on Spending Time with God

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Some of you who read this blog know I was raised in the Church, and have always struggled with how much… whatever I was “supposed” to do. Fill-in-the-blank for whatever: Bible-reading, “quiet time,” prayer, service.

I have not, like some Christians, ever felt compelled by my church to do more. I only see new perspectives that make me reevaluate what I might be doing, or not doing.

(If you’ve been hanging out a while you’re probably also aware that “reevaluation” is for me sort of a cross between a running-gag and a need in my mind).

Right now I’m thinking about “spending time with God,” something that (rightly) is portrayed as necessary for spiritual growth, and frequently seems to involve chunks of time alone.

I am not the only mother of pre-schoolers to confess this is not a regular practice.

At a new bible study group I visited yesterday, the study-book brought up the image of God waiting for us to join Him in a special meeting place, and of Him missing us when we don’t show up.

The point was to see God as someone who values us and wants to spend “quality time” together. The idea that the interaction is not just for our benefit. It is a thought-provoking image. And a guilt-inducing one.

I had a new image come to me today (for any, like me, who have seen a certain part of the Lord of the Rings audio commentary).

What if, instead of a meeting in the drawing room, tête-à-tête by the fire, our relationship with the Lord was represented by something more like Frodo and Sam– a quester and his “back-man.”

Continue reading »

Finding Motivation in a Movie

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What Jay and I loved in the movie Music and Lyrics was the nuts and bolts of the musical elements.

If you don’t know already, the movie centers around an 80s has-been singer’s need to write a song in x-days for a currently popular singer, in order to revitalize his career. Add a female lyricist and you’ve got your forced interaction for your RomCom.

What none of the trailers (or even the set-up in the movie itself) prepared us for was the creating of the “demo” song.

That might have been the 2nd or 3rd greatest part in the whole movie (and there were some good lines).

You get to watch the guy playing each of the instruments, one after the other, and building the accompaniment track that the pair than sings their demo duet over.

Watching that, Jay was re-inspired to get back to playing piano. And wanting me to do more regular work on guitar.

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I don’t mean to sound ungrateful…

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But how did I end up in the “international” list for the prize drawing???

Oh dear.

I signed up for last week’s blog party, and like nearly 1000 other bloggers eagerly scanned the list of cool prizes being offered to partygoers. As many of them did, I dreamed up a “wish list” of my absolute favorites, in case I was drawn. I also mentioned I was in Alaska.

~ ~ ~

Here’s a quick reference chart (though it’s largely irrelevant I almost included it as a “public service announcement” in my intro post):

AK is not Arkansas, its Alaska
AR is not Arizona, its Arkansas
AZ is Arizona.

We’re all America, USPS ships to all three, and while mail can take a little longer to get up here, it is not much more expensive.

~ ~ ~

I hope in the future being non-contiguous won’t exclude the 49th state from the awesome prizes offered for American bloggers. (Another idea would be letting small, mailable things like gift-cards be an option for us “INTL” folk)

*sigh*

I don’t mean it in a nasty way. It’s always fun to hear you’ve won something, but this is a little like having someone offer to buy you their favorite painting…

Anyway, had a lovely time cruising new sites during the party, I think I picked up at least two new reads.

And if there is some sadly disappointed INTL blogger who would like my on-line prize-pack, leave a comment (find me a dog if you’re feeling really generous) and we’ll call it even.

Returning Light

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There is something special about this time of year; the light is bright when we wake up, and lasts long enough for it to be worth reopening the drapes when afternoon nap is over.

This is also the time of year when sunglasses are the most useful (if one remembers to keep them handy), since, in addition to the clear brightness of day we have the reflecting expanse of white everywhere.

I don’t feel myself greatly affected by the diminishing light toward the end of the year (not as some do, anyway) but I am distinctly aware of the growing spring-brightness.

I have more energy, and really do feel hope rising in my spirit– as if I actually felt relief at the promise spring will return again this year.

Getting Un-stuck.

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I absolutely cannot remember where I read/heard this, but here’s how my memory plays it:

I don’t want to.
I don’t even want to want to.
But I do want to want to want to.
And that is a starting place.

I haven’t got any further in the deciding how much my will determines my own doings/ability. But I am being reminded about the faithfulness of God in the midst of our foolish confusions.

Continue reading »

100 Things About Me

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Hmmm— So, I just found-out what all these 100-things lists are that I’ve seen on a bunch of blogs.

Apparently the list is supposed to coincide with one’s 100th post. So I’m quite late.

It is, I think, the ultimate vanity. But as that is largely the purpose of blogs anyway, I see that fact being constantly forgiven/indulged.

So, craving the same patience of my readers (and largely because Jay has asked me to make an annual habit of self-description–!– as a reference, I suppose) I present my 100 things.

  • Beginning with a thank you Prov 31 for the idea of organizing the 100 (some categories I borrowed, some modified), without which I wouldn’t have attempted this.

A. The things I pray most frequently:

  1. No-bad-dreams for my girls each night
  2. Safety for my family
  3. Wisdom for me and my husband
  4. Wholeness for my future sons- and daughter-in-law

B. Four Things I miss about growing up:

  1. Having rabbits, and their greenhouse as my “secret” place to get away
  2. Wrassling with Dad and my sibs
  3. Only one room to keep clean
  4. Hours of time to spend creating stories with my toys

C. Five things about my family:

  1. Jay and I complement each other perfectly
  2. I used to think I wanted four kids, but now three seems the perfect fit.
  3. My three kids were born in less-than 3 1/2 years
  4. Kids this close together fit my personality better than I could possibly have guessed
  5. We plan to homeschool once our children are older. Currently I am most intrigued by Charlotte Mason’s ideas.

D. Ten things I like to do (in no particular order):

  1. Read
  2. Write
  3. Explore (in every way– museums, woods, new–or old– houses, libraries, the internet)
  4. Sing
  5. Guitar
  6. Tell stories
  7. Listen to stories
  8. Learn new things
  9. Watching a T.V. series on DVD that I enjoy (Currently: Monk and House, M.D.)
  10. Watch good movies

E. Ten favorite movies:

  1. Undercover Blues
  2. Kate and Leopold
  3. Sabrina
  4. Oklahoma! (London version– there’s irony for you)
  5. Sahara
  6. Sense & Sensibility
  7. Stargate
  8. Singin’ in the Rain
  9. Bewitched
  10. Hitch

F. Ten favorite books, or, The minimum I’d want to start over with after a fire:

  1. A durably-bound bible (along with a good bookmark and a number of colored pens)
  2. The Perilous Gard
  3. Jane Eyre
  4. Professionalizing Motherhood
  5. Taking Charge of Your Fertility
  6. Good Poems
  7. Enchantment
  8. Favorite Folktales From Around the World
  9. Sea Wolf
  10. Devotional Classics

G. Nine Favorites:

  1. My Best Friend (Jay)
  2. Homemade Ice Cream!
  3. “Jewel” tones: saphire, ruby, emerald and amethyst
  4. Having the right answer at the right time
  5. Soft clothes
  6. iPod-accessibility and mixability of Music!!!
  7. Rose: Sterling Silver
  8. Wildflower: Iris
  9. Drink: Milk (1%)

H. Ten verses/passages underlined in my bible:

  1. Hosea 2:19-20
  2. 1 Corinthians 15:58
  3. Exodus 33:13-16
  4. Deuteronomy 4:29
  5. Ephesians 4:29
  6. Hebrews 12:11
  7. Psalm 139:14
  8. Phillipians 2:3-4
  9. Phillipians 4: 4-7
  10. Isaiah 43:1-2

I. Ten things I don’t like:

  1. Being misunderstood or misconstrued
  2. Being startled/caught off-guard
  3. Forgetting
  4. Thinking of something too late
  5. Saying something unkind
  6. Being tired
  7. Mashed potatoes
  8. Watermelon
  9. Dr Pepper (Whenever my Dad or husband don’t want to share their soda, this is what they get. I don’t like that either.)
  10. Wearing tennis shoes/sneakers with dresses or skirts

J. Ten random things about me:

  1. I’ve never dyed my hair. (One acquaintance from childhood adds, “You never needed to.” It’s blond.)
  2. I “collect” information: phone numbers, addresses, middle names and birthdays. Gift ideas too. It all goes into my palm. I love it when a friend says, “But how did you know?” and I can say,”You told me.”
  3. Music is in my blood. I can’t not-listen or not-make it. I *always* listen to the words.
  4. I don’t buy something because it fits a theme, I buy it because I like it. As a result my surroundings have always been… eclectic.
  5. I memorize relatively easily.
  6. I have vivid dreams. If I had time to write them down on first-waking, I’d have a lot more story seeds.
  7. I have pierced ears, but only occasionally remember to wear earrings.
  8. I understand the strength of my glasses prescription means I’m legally blind (without them, of course). I’m never up without them, even in the middle of the night. Continue reading »

I’m Stuck.

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I declaim frequently that we (as free human beings) really do do what it is we want to.

As in, I really wanted to write a novel in a month. This I did.

A friend I greatly admire (who has a B.S. in Engineering) wanted to stay home once her first child was born. Her husband (degree in Wildlife Management) chose not to work in his field of study because it meant too much time away from his family. They now live (contentedly) in a dry cabin with two children under age 5.

They really wanted to have a homebody lifestyle, and have found a way to do it on their income.

My grandmother (just like me, or I just like her, as you like it) had 3 children in less than four years. Unlike me she didn’t get much help from her husband who always worked more than one job, all physically demanding. This while living in a small house under construction for years.

She stayed up late after the children were sleeping in order to clean and have a tidy home.

What you really want to do, you will find a way to do.

Since this is the thought I subscribe to, I have to admit when I “can’t” do something I want to do, that it is because I don’t want it enough.

(Following so far?)

This creates a lot of pressure on me. But it is legitimate pressure most of the time. I think we cut ourselves way too much slack generally when it comes to stuff we don’t do. Continue reading »

Happy…*Something* to Me…

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One year ago today I posted my First blog entry. (Very interesting now to see what’s changed.)

It was on Xanga, on an account I had finally opened in order to be able to comment on the well-established blog of a childhood friend. I’ve never been able to not-jump-in a conversation…

When I wrote my first profile I was self-conscious beyond words (Like I need one more reason/excuse to think of myself! Who’s even going to read it?). The first Xanga profile I wrote contained a line like, This is an experiment. Let’s see if it goes anywhere.

Now, with a total of 308 posts (159 posts here and 149 at Family News), it’s clear this is no longer in the “experimental” stage.

Even allowing for the doubling of some pre-June posts (June being the time I switched to a two-blog format) that number still looks impressive to me.

The dating format has been a surprisingly motivating way to keep me writing frequently, and the self-consciousness has been replaced with self-awareness which is much more useful for a hobby/endeavor like this.

Among other blessings (many come simply from writing frequently) I’ve been able to record both more of the every-day and stressful times (both were missed when I simply journaled), because I’ve trained myself to write regularly.

And in everything recorded I see repeatedly the unflagging faithfulness of our mighty God.

“If it were not for His mercy…”