Category Archives: Random

A New Perspective on Spending Time with God

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Some of you who read this blog know I was raised in the Church, and have always struggled with how much… whatever I was “supposed” to do. Fill-in-the-blank for whatever: Bible-reading, “quiet time,” prayer, service.

I have not, like some Christians, ever felt compelled by my church to do more. I only see new perspectives that make me reevaluate what I might be doing, or not doing.

(If you’ve been hanging out a while you’re probably also aware that “reevaluation” is for me sort of a cross between a running-gag and a need in my mind).

Right now I’m thinking about “spending time with God,” something that (rightly) is portrayed as necessary for spiritual growth, and frequently seems to involve chunks of time alone.

I am not the only mother of pre-schoolers to confess this is not a regular practice.

At a new bible study group I visited yesterday, the study-book brought up the image of God waiting for us to join Him in a special meeting place, and of Him missing us when we don’t show up.

The point was to see God as someone who values us and wants to spend “quality time” together. The idea that the interaction is not just for our benefit. It is a thought-provoking image. And a guilt-inducing one.

I had a new image come to me today (for any, like me, who have seen a certain part of the Lord of the Rings audio commentary).

What if, instead of a meeting in the drawing room, tête-à-tête by the fire, our relationship with the Lord was represented by something more like Frodo and Sam– a quester and his “back-man.”

Continue reading »

On my mind

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Stream-of-consciousness list.

  • Story for tomorrow’s post
  • Table book someone loaned me at church
  • *fussy* discontented boy in my lap
  • Jay does this with the baby too: Boy’s not happy anyway? I’ll just do what I want.
  • *cluttered* house
  • not wanting to scrape dinner together
  • run-down being up multiple times with babay
  • new bible study this morning
  • needing to find/call for info they asked from me
  • What is my Bible time supposed to look like?
  • Psalm 61 today. Read it out loud. Perfect for now. Love the line, “You’ve given me the heritage of those who fear your name.”
  • Lack of sleep
  • Guess there is one much-better-than-slapped-together dinner that wouldn’t be to awful to work on. (Bonus: it’s Jay’s favorite soup.)
  • Oh. And I promised Melody I’d make ice cream for dessert. That’s not so awful. I like ice cream.
  • I’ll try walking the boy again…

Movie Weaknesses

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In my 100-Things post I almost didn’t include movies #9 and #10, because I don’t believe they are for general consumption. But I did enjoy them.

I am blessed (yes, I do count it a blessing) to have a husband who enjoys “snuggly movies” (romantic comedies) with me, even though I won’t watch certain things with him (He loved the Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I don’t watch R-rated movies). I’m glad he doesn’t keep score.

Anyway, we’ve had a string of -13s we’ve watched where we enjoyed the story, but each had a distinct drawback that keeps it from being fully recommendable:

  • Hitch (#9)– great angle about being detailed and conscientious in relationships. Ruined by gratuitous course language. Not something we are willing to own.
  • Bewitched (#10)– Sweet story about being genuine; and as most of the magic is “fairytale” stuff (as opposed to darkly empowered), we chose to buy that one. But I don’t like the “hex” scene, with the dancing around a cauldron (and a few lines of dialogue the hex inspired). I choose to skip those.
  • Mr. & Mrs. Smith was a Jay choice– I was pleased to finally have something of his to agree to– and the story itself was fascinating, but the spouse-to-spouse pummeling was just too much for me.
  • Music and Lyrics was what we saw yesterday. Jay and I had the same sort of reaction: That was so. fun. but…

The largest drawback here was the overt sexuality of the young female singer, who was shown several times dancing around in next-to-nothing.

I told Jay we ought to buy it anyway and he could just use his media program to edit those scenes out. Especially since there’s stuff in it we really liked.

He’s still thinking about it.

In Defense of “Movie” Dates

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When I was in high school it was very common for groups of friends to go to see movies together.

It was also common for my mother to make a remark like, “Why spend your time at a movie? There’s no interaction!”

I only did one or two visits a year to the movie theater back then. Still averaging that now, but in anticipation of my first post-baby visit, (and my first “date” since I-can’t-remember-when) I will list my reasons for watching movies not-alone.

  • Quiet “being” time
    • Yes, I know there are other types, but we enjoy having a variety of ice cream flavors too.
  • A shared “experience”
    • While it is all imaginary, it is, especially if well-told, a Story after all. And the purpose of a story is to understand or experience something by being put into it.
    • It was Nora Whats-her-name (the directer of You’ve Got Mail and other things) who said the appeal (or even thrill) of romantic comedies isn’t in their originality. It’s in their ability to recreate for the viewer an echo of the excitement of her/his own experience, bringing the memory into sharper focus– recreating the emotional potency.

    (I love that. I started paying attention and now think it’s largely true.)

  • Observation
    • When I saw the first Pirates movie, I instantly knew I wanted to be with my dad when he saw Jack Sparrow coming into port at the beginning. I wanted to watch him watching that whole sequence that followed.

    (Knowing him, I guessed he would enjoy it, and I suppose I’ve never outgrown a daughter’s natural delight in her father’s laughter)

    Continue reading »

Getting Un-stuck.

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I absolutely cannot remember where I read/heard this, but here’s how my memory plays it:

I don’t want to.
I don’t even want to want to.
But I do want to want to want to.
And that is a starting place.

I haven’t got any further in the deciding how much my will determines my own doings/ability. But I am being reminded about the faithfulness of God in the midst of our foolish confusions.

Continue reading »

100 Things About Me

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Hmmm— So, I just found-out what all these 100-things lists are that I’ve seen on a bunch of blogs.

Apparently the list is supposed to coincide with one’s 100th post. So I’m quite late.

It is, I think, the ultimate vanity. But as that is largely the purpose of blogs anyway, I see that fact being constantly forgiven/indulged.

So, craving the same patience of my readers (and largely because Jay has asked me to make an annual habit of self-description–!– as a reference, I suppose) I present my 100 things.

  • Beginning with a thank you Prov 31 for the idea of organizing the 100 (some categories I borrowed, some modified), without which I wouldn’t have attempted this.

A. The things I pray most frequently:

  1. No-bad-dreams for my girls each night
  2. Safety for my family
  3. Wisdom for me and my husband
  4. Wholeness for my future sons- and daughter-in-law

B. Four Things I miss about growing up:

  1. Having rabbits, and their greenhouse as my “secret” place to get away
  2. Wrassling with Dad and my sibs
  3. Only one room to keep clean
  4. Hours of time to spend creating stories with my toys

C. Five things about my family:

  1. Jay and I complement each other perfectly
  2. I used to think I wanted four kids, but now three seems the perfect fit.
  3. My three kids were born in less-than 3 1/2 years
  4. Kids this close together fit my personality better than I could possibly have guessed
  5. We plan to homeschool once our children are older. Currently I am most intrigued by Charlotte Mason’s ideas.

D. Ten things I like to do (in no particular order):

  1. Read
  2. Write
  3. Explore (in every way– museums, woods, new–or old– houses, libraries, the internet)
  4. Sing
  5. Guitar
  6. Tell stories
  7. Listen to stories
  8. Learn new things
  9. Watching a T.V. series on DVD that I enjoy (Currently: Monk and House, M.D.)
  10. Watch good movies

E. Ten favorite movies:

  1. Undercover Blues
  2. Kate and Leopold
  3. Sabrina
  4. Oklahoma! (London version– there’s irony for you)
  5. Sahara
  6. Sense & Sensibility
  7. Stargate
  8. Singin’ in the Rain
  9. Bewitched
  10. Hitch

F. Ten favorite books, or, The minimum I’d want to start over with after a fire:

  1. A durably-bound bible (along with a good bookmark and a number of colored pens)
  2. The Perilous Gard
  3. Jane Eyre
  4. Professionalizing Motherhood
  5. Taking Charge of Your Fertility
  6. Good Poems
  7. Enchantment
  8. Favorite Folktales From Around the World
  9. Sea Wolf
  10. Devotional Classics

G. Nine Favorites:

  1. My Best Friend (Jay)
  2. Homemade Ice Cream!
  3. “Jewel” tones: saphire, ruby, emerald and amethyst
  4. Having the right answer at the right time
  5. Soft clothes
  6. iPod-accessibility and mixability of Music!!!
  7. Rose: Sterling Silver
  8. Wildflower: Iris
  9. Drink: Milk (1%)

H. Ten verses/passages underlined in my bible:

  1. Hosea 2:19-20
  2. 1 Corinthians 15:58
  3. Exodus 33:13-16
  4. Deuteronomy 4:29
  5. Ephesians 4:29
  6. Hebrews 12:11
  7. Psalm 139:14
  8. Phillipians 2:3-4
  9. Phillipians 4: 4-7
  10. Isaiah 43:1-2

I. Ten things I don’t like:

  1. Being misunderstood or misconstrued
  2. Being startled/caught off-guard
  3. Forgetting
  4. Thinking of something too late
  5. Saying something unkind
  6. Being tired
  7. Mashed potatoes
  8. Watermelon
  9. Dr Pepper (Whenever my Dad or husband don’t want to share their soda, this is what they get. I don’t like that either.)
  10. Wearing tennis shoes/sneakers with dresses or skirts

J. Ten random things about me:

  1. I’ve never dyed my hair. (One acquaintance from childhood adds, “You never needed to.” It’s blond.)
  2. I “collect” information: phone numbers, addresses, middle names and birthdays. Gift ideas too. It all goes into my palm. I love it when a friend says, “But how did you know?” and I can say,”You told me.”
  3. Music is in my blood. I can’t not-listen or not-make it. I *always* listen to the words.
  4. I don’t buy something because it fits a theme, I buy it because I like it. As a result my surroundings have always been… eclectic.
  5. I memorize relatively easily.
  6. I have vivid dreams. If I had time to write them down on first-waking, I’d have a lot more story seeds.
  7. I have pierced ears, but only occasionally remember to wear earrings.
  8. I understand the strength of my glasses prescription means I’m legally blind (without them, of course). I’m never up without them, even in the middle of the night. Continue reading »

I’m Stuck.

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I declaim frequently that we (as free human beings) really do do what it is we want to.

As in, I really wanted to write a novel in a month. This I did.

A friend I greatly admire (who has a B.S. in Engineering) wanted to stay home once her first child was born. Her husband (degree in Wildlife Management) chose not to work in his field of study because it meant too much time away from his family. They now live (contentedly) in a dry cabin with two children under age 5.

They really wanted to have a homebody lifestyle, and have found a way to do it on their income.

My grandmother (just like me, or I just like her, as you like it) had 3 children in less than four years. Unlike me she didn’t get much help from her husband who always worked more than one job, all physically demanding. This while living in a small house under construction for years.

She stayed up late after the children were sleeping in order to clean and have a tidy home.

What you really want to do, you will find a way to do.

Since this is the thought I subscribe to, I have to admit when I “can’t” do something I want to do, that it is because I don’t want it enough.

(Following so far?)

This creates a lot of pressure on me. But it is legitimate pressure most of the time. I think we cut ourselves way too much slack generally when it comes to stuff we don’t do. Continue reading »

Creative Politics

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We have a new State Rep. in Juneau this session; a young guy, who really seems to be trying to juggle that tricky task of staying connected “back home” while he’s hundreds of miles away.

There has recently been a huge stink locally, about a former multi-term Mayor (current pastor) and his wife getting indited by a Grand Jury on a bunch of charges involving the miss-use of federal grants.

A number of people, University students clear up to the Governor herself, were calling for this guy to step-down from one of his remaining positions of influence. This he has refused to do.

Tongue-clicking and redoubled speculation ensued.

I wrote a Letter to the Editor (a local masochistic pastime) back at the beginning of February:

Regarding the many calls for the resignation of Regent {So’n’So},

please, lets all remember that “innocent until proven guilty” is still the rule, and a jury of one’s peers is not (or shouldn’t be) quite the same as the storm of public opinion. Let things lay where they’ve fallen and allow the proper time and procedure for picking them up.
Sincerely,
{etc.}

The two days before my letter ran, other, longer, letters with a similar message ran as well, only they were more along the lines of “they’re innocent until proven guilty, so I’m backing them.”

As I was careful to avoid any language of *support* (wanting only to encourage/remind people to wait on due process), I hoped my letter wouldn’t be mentally grouped with theirs.

My letter didn’t garner any response so I moved on.

Monday this week I received a hand-written note from my new Representative at the Capitol, agreeing with my choice of position as presented in the Letter to the Editor, and the invitation to write him if there were any issues on my mind, etc.

The guy seems to be following local news via the local paper (always a good idea), did his homework to know I was in his district, and chose to use that as a point of contact.

I was impressed at his initiative. It seemed a very creative idea.

The Value of Illustrations

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I am always a little sad when I hear someone being steered away from a classic that has been illustrated for children.

The reasoning behind this seems to be in seeking to develop the inner eye (imagination), and appreciation for the language itself apart from the distraction of images.

On the very small chance that anyone reading this post holds that view, here is an analogy: Illustrations (when they are something the child is actually interested in, mind you) are very like bath toys.

There is an age when the water itself ceases to be infinitely entertaining and tub toys become a very motivating factor in continuing baths.

Pictures can serve the same purpose, holding the child’s attention long enough for us to pour the words over them and whet their minds with new phrases and ideas.

“Don’t complain, just adapt.”

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“I can’t do that! Suppose they catch me at it!”
“Surely you won’t let them catch you at it? A clever girl like you.”

From The Perilous Gard (a book I recommend without reservation).

This type of exchange drives me mad. I start out with a genuine (legitimate) concern, and someone counters with, Oh, it’s nothing really for *you* to be worried about.

That they are right is really beside the point when one is feeling insecure.

~~~

One of the disadvantages of modern femininity is that one is allowed a moment to “vent” as she seeks to do her duty, but it seems she is not allowed a moment of helplessness. This is true even in religious circles where it may be characterized as “lack of faith” or fearfulness.

While both may at the root be true, that doesn’t mean the “offender” has chosen to act in unbelief or fear (as the correction would imply). We are simply reacting, and this shouldn’t be treated as a shocking surprise.

After all, we’re not perfected yet.