Category Archives: Random

Pit Bull Defense and Analogy

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I’ve been researching dogs for a few months now, and there was a long stretch there when I was seriously considering a Pit Bull.

Don’t think I’m sick.

The practice of dog fighting was/is sick, of course, and it’s very unfortunate their name ties them so directly to that purpose they were originally bred for. But there are many attractive things about the breed, and I trusted my instinct for finding a good animal.

My 2-cents of positive PR: the whole time these dogs were being bred for dog-aggression (just as beagles were bred for their noses and greyhounds for speed) they were being selected for their ability to be man-handled under the stressful conditions of fighting.

A dog that bit under pressure was a dog whose line (if not his life) did not continue. I found an interesting statistic on the site I linked above:

Unlike the myth propagated by the media however, human aggression is NOT a problem specific to pit bulls. In fact, pit bulls tend to do better than average in temperament tests.

Okay, prove it.

The American Temperament Test Society provides temperament testing around the country for dog breeds, and gives a passing score for the entire breed based on the percentage of passed over failed within total number of the particular breed tested. As of December 2003, the American Pit Bull Terrier has a current passing rate of 83.9%, and the American Staffordshire Terrier passes [two specific breeds lumped under the name “pit-bull”] at 83.2%. In comparison, The Golden Retriever passing rate is 83.2%.

So the “average” pit bull appears to be about as stable as the “average” Golden, who, as everybody knows, is the perfect family dog.

Interesting.

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I came up with an analogy tonight, and that was comparing the general public’s response to the pit bull-type with the general response of a woman, alone after dark, passing an unfamiliar man. (Come to think of it, she probably wouldn’t mind having a pit bull with her under those circumstances…)

Statistically, that man is not dangerous; there is no reason to assume something bad is going to happen now, other than bad things have happened in these circumstances before.

And, really, to protect yourself, you aught to think that way. I just think it puts in some perspective the instant fear-response that goes along with the name Pit Bull.

Ultimately, I passed on the PB for a similar reason I passed on the Whippet, earlier– while it meets many of my criteria, it is not trustworthy off-leash. One of my goals is to train a Frisbee dog, and that’s just not something you can do on-leash.

What is *Difficulty* Saying?

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Dad’s schooling issue has worked out.

The difficulty, though, caused this question to be considered: Is this so hard because we’re trying to plow our own way, without God’s help, and outside of his will, or is God just preparing to show himself mighty?

It was the latter. After allowing my parents to see that there was no human way to accomplish what they needed, He made the perfect way. There was no question this was God’s will and God’s provision.

Homeschool: Not Optional for Us.

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I think the reason Kendra’s post meant so much to me was wrapped up in #5, and the rest were about understanding and surviving in that universe.

5. For many of us, homeschooling isn’t an option. Many believe it is not only the best way for their family, it is the only way… When sharing a particular struggle unique to homeschooling, comments like, “Well, why don’t you consider putting them in school? Maybe homeschooling just isn’t your thing” aren’t helpful. Instead, offer a listening ear and your fervent prayers on her behalf.

Jay and I have talked about this many times, and I constantly pray (and begin research projects) to be prepared. I feel so passionately about this it’s hard sometimes to remain neutral when a friend or relative begins proselytizing about their own child’s school situation (or offering to help us out by sharing something from that lovely program.)

This might rankle some because I am working so hard not to do the same. Not that I yet have any “miracles” to offer, just that I refrain from sharing a list of our reasons to stay home that will inevitably sound like attack on their parental skills/love for letting their own child(ren) go off.

Disclaimer of course: I know public school is the only (or even perhaps right) option for some people. I think I am more frustrated by the unexamined expectation that *this is just what you do with your kids.*

Jay and I feel a near-moral obligation to keep our kids home, and so we (at least, I) feel frustrated by the emphasis of things (even as benign as Sesame Street) on going away to school and the hype of large crowds *just your own age* (and little adult supervision or interaction).

The more I research, the more I feel sure this is what we must do, and the more I *wish* I were the organizationally-gifted type.

Quite Enough.

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Okay, I don’t know if this should make me horribly embarrassed, but I have {gulp} –okay, I’ll say it– six different blogs that I have put on-line.

I have this one, which is something of my “play” site, and Family News, a combination memory-book and update-letter to family. They were going to encompass all I needed to blog for.

Then I also have Blogger and Xanga accounts for commenting on those sites.

Next, last week, in a moment of bravery, I took the suggestion of my Acoustic Guitar magazine and created a “musician” MySpace page. (I’ll not link there, seeing as it’s still very embryonic, and I’m feeling less-brave this morning).

Finally, just a couple days ago, I signed up at Homeschool Blogger. (Snow Fairy is my “other” screen name– sort of a nod to my storytelling and home at the same time.) Also limited to commenting, now.

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I’ve decided this is just a very unique season: With Elisha nursing so much I have a lot of “mindless” time to spend reading and doing things on the computer. I do expect I’ll be needing to re-train myself when he is done that this much computer-time is not normal…

What the opposite of speaking before you think?

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I don’t mean the admirable thinking before you speak, I mean thinking faster than you speak.

No, not in that admirable way, either.

While I still speak before I think, sometimes, my main problem of thoughts and speech being out of sync seems to manifest in thinking way faster than I speak, allowing my ideas to get ahead of the coherent transmission of those ideas.

See? I did it again. Maybe.

I’m always asking people if they followed the idea. In this way print is superior to the spoken word: I can re-read what I’ve written and determine if the thoughts followed naturally. The image I use to explain myself (and justify I’m not a red herring pitcher) is that my mind quickly links A-F internally, and I burst by the time I get to “G” because it reminds me of such an interesting story. And I tell that story.

Then feel really silly and half-obligated to race back from B-F to prove I’m not crazy or anything.  That the new conversation angle really was connected.

I consider it the mark of an ideal friendship (and an abiding comfort in my marriage) that a friend will just jump on for the ride, or, better still, know me well enough to make the leap with me.

At least with this type of fault I usually have that “witty” comeback at the right moment. Though I (like everyone else) usually think of a better one at approximately 3 a.m. the next morning.

Personality Testing

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Do you have one? Take the test and find out!

Seriously, I remember joking in high school about “cheating” in personality tests (“Hey! don’t be copying my answers!”).

Barbara at Mommy Life observes:

I know some most of these tests that circulate on blogs are silly and pointless, but this one is definitely the real thing. It is used to help employers and employees understand how people work and relate on the job. And I think it can help us with the job we do, too.

The test is here, and a list of descriptions/explanations is here, along with other essays on your results page.

My results were very interesting, and largely accurate, but I sometimes wonder about these tests how much of this is logic and how much is fortunetelling…

I Just Figured it Out.

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I was over reading on Mommy Life, and saw where she wrote this:

I give thanks every day for blogging, as I believe it has truly empowered mothers in a way that has little to do with what we used to think was empowerment. It has taken us out of the isolation that was the biggest downside of our calling and given us a sense of community…

I love it when I figure out why I’m doing something, and don’t feel silly about the why.

Bob Mayer (in the excellent book, The Novel Writer’s Toolkit), observes that most decisions are made at an emotional level, and it is after we’ve already made up our minds that we go back and look for support for the position we’ve chosen.

His context was the accepting or rejection of manuscripts, but I feel it is more broadly applicable. (The abortion controversy is one example.)

I can readily agree that the blogging idea and practice is a very natural (and frequently effective) response to the isolated feelings sometimes experienced as a “full-time mom.” Blogs offer an outlet for our own active minds,

Plus a healthy dose of humor so we see our jobs in the best possible light… and hopefully – in the blogs you choose – a bunch of ideas for making the most of your motherhood.

I’m thankful for the outlet and the chance to see into other women’s minds. It has been very encouraging to me.

Motherhood vs. Career?

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Another random-advice article.

The questions in the forum I visit have been nice writing prompts :) I think I like blogging these because they are sort of attitude-landmarks. They articulate how I feel about a particular issue.

The topic here is the question of whether a happily married gal just out of college should have babies (and stay home with them) or a career first.

Those asking the question seem to be stuck between two scares:

  1. Being unmarketable (because they’ve spent X-number of years out of the workforce).
  2. Being unable to have children without medical intervention because they waited too long.

The arguments that I was reacting to included the assertions that the young woman ought to enjoy life before becoming encumbered by children, and that (after working so hard to get her degree) she had a near-moral obligation to do something with it. There was also the question of whether she wanted to risk the happiness of her marriage on children (yet).

~

There are people who will warn you about how a baby will change your relationship, and it will, but it doesn’t have to destroy or even weaken it.

I heard a lot of stories about that while pregnant the first time. They unsettled me, but ended up not applying to us at all.

What helped us, I believe, was Jay’s paternity leave and his heavy involvement while he was home.

We were working actively on the same team and it was a boot-camp bonding experience: both challenging and encouraging to our marriage.

More and more employers (if the women’s mags are right) are seeing the value of the women returning to the work force in their 30s and 40s, and are eager for the “real-life” skills these women bring.

Trust me, you will gain valuable work- and real-world-experience learning to manage a home, live frugally on one income and stimulate/encourage your children in their individual talents.

If you haven’t guessed already I am a SAHM, and it is a full-time job. Not just the always-on-call type of full-time job, but the type I must study for. Reading and researching to stay on top of my game.

It is preparing me for so many future plans that I write them down and squirrel them away. Sometimes I work on them, sometimes I tack a future date on them, but I don’t have to deny them.

And when thinking about age, don’t forget how much (active!) life continues long beyond your fertile years. “Getting your fun in” doesn’t have to happen all in your 20s. Especially if you’ve already found your life-partner.

Just, don’t be afraid of time.

 

The goodness of Children, revisited.

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We all admire the intelligence of people who think the way we do.

Bruno Bettelheim wrote a book called The Uses of Enchantment designed (as far as I can tell) to defend and promote the use of fairy tales in bringing up children. Naturally it is referenced in a number of storytelling articles I have read. I have only just started the book, and so far it is quite intriguing. Here is a quote that reminds me of the arguments I began articulating earlier.

There is a widespread refusal to let children know that the source of much that goes wrong in life is due to our very own natures– the propensity of all men for acting aggressively, asocially, selfishly, out of anger and anxiety. Instead we want our children to believe that, inherently all men are good. But children know that they are not always good; and often, even when they are, they would prefer not to be. This contradicts what they are told by their parents, and therefore makes the child a monster in his own eyes.

I have often thought about how ridiculous it is that adults continue to assert the inherent goodness of children (as one who has cared for/observed them most of my life), but I had never before considered how it must seem to the honest and thoughtful child who is aware of his or her own shortcomings.

Indeed, if a sensitive child is told that children’s goodness comes naturally, and honestly observes that his own goodness does not– I can see that being rather distressing, even if not completely “mak[ing] the child a monster in his own eyes.”

Grace for All Things

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Today’s epiphany, courtesy Hudson Taylor (via Adventures in Autism):

…In the easiest position He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult, His grace is sufficient.

I don’t remember particularly questioning God’s sufficiency in difficulty; my faulty thinking was more about assuming I could reach a level of competency that would leave me grateful for– but somehow less completely dependant on– God’s provision of grace for the smaller roles.

Taylor goes on with more encouraging reminders about sufficiency.
The illustration:

It matters little to my servant whether I send him to buy a few cash worth of things, or the most expensive articles. In either case he looks to me for the money and brings me his purchases.

What a lovely picture of dependency and trust.

So, if God should place me in serious perplexity, must He not meet much guidance; in positions of great difficulty, much grace; in circumstances of great pressure and trial, much strength? No fear that His resources will prove unequal to the emergency! And His resources are mine, for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me.

Such a great and precious promise from our faithful God and Father:

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”