Category Archives: Personal

About me and/or for my benefit

Setting it in Stone

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(Posted simultaneously at Family News.)

I am officially limiting myself.

I “flipped a coin” (it wasn’t a literal coin, I was driving) and– as I’ve noticed in the past– found while it was in the air what it was I really wanted.

  • Storytelling is on-hold. Maybe for a decade. Lord willing, I will eventually return.
  • Piano is on-hold. I am tired of not moving forward as efficiently as I could in any instrument. I will be enjoying the beautiful Rainsong Jay picked out for me just after Elisha was born.

Jay and I have always known we wanted to homeschool our children, and Natasha is definitely ready and willing to learn new skills. So this conscious limiting is directly tied to the research and preparations I have begun in order to lay the groundwork for her schooling.

It is not so much the schooling that I see as the challenge, but maintaining a smoothly-running household at the same time. I have come across some very nice resources.

Everything is genetic.

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Sure, you can “overcome genetics”: dye your hair, exercise and eat right to counter a history of heart disease… but all that is still being driven– underlined– by genetics.

I stopped by my mom’s office on my way off campus this morning. I had just finished my last piano lesson class. As I was leaving I explained to some classmates I might come back next fall, but not this spring– I was going to take a semester off to shift focus to the guitar for a while.

So I walked up to my mom’s place thinking of how many different things I feel torn between, musically (guitar, piano), “professionally” (storytelling, noveling, children’s books) and home life (cleaning, meal planning, and “pre-school” for the girls). One of the first things she said to me was how dad felt pulled in so many directions by his many interests, and I could only laugh.

I Made It.

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(Posted simultaneously at Family News.)

Can’t say I’m done, ’cause I’m not, but I did make the 50,000-word “finish line.”

Two nights ago, actually. And yesterday I spent much of the day cleaning house because we were having company for dinner, so I didn’t write anything before “validating” my 50,267-Word document this morning. (You are such a nice little document!) It came in as 50,116 words.

Good enough for me. I did what I set out to do (make word count) and have had a “highly educational experience” that was not frightening or humiliating (I understand many highly educational experiences are one or both). I now have more words on a single story than I ever have before, and I spent more consecutive days on a single project (excluding marriage and children and eating) than I have before in my life.

Since it’s still not done I’ll have to spend some more hours on it before it’s complete, but I’ve got those penciled in for January or February.

The plan for December is to create order in my physical world (this was already manifesting itself toward the end of the month as my word-count slowed and my house got pretty) and enjoy Jay’s time off.

The whole month. *WooHoo!*

I’m hoping to have some time in there to create a semi-formal “pre-school” lesson plan for Natasha. She it just chomping at the bit right now. She has loved poetry since she was 2 1/2 and fell in love with that rabbit poem. We read them between chores this morning, and she was never ready to let me get back to my clothes-folding. Then she went off “playing school” and “reading” both by herself and with Melody.

Grace for All Things

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Today’s epiphany, courtesy Hudson Taylor (via Adventures in Autism):

…In the easiest position He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult, His grace is sufficient.

I don’t remember particularly questioning God’s sufficiency in difficulty; my faulty thinking was more about assuming I could reach a level of competency that would leave me grateful for– but somehow less completely dependant on– God’s provision of grace for the smaller roles.

Taylor goes on with more encouraging reminders about sufficiency.
The illustration:

It matters little to my servant whether I send him to buy a few cash worth of things, or the most expensive articles. In either case he looks to me for the money and brings me his purchases.

What a lovely picture of dependency and trust.

So, if God should place me in serious perplexity, must He not meet much guidance; in positions of great difficulty, much grace; in circumstances of great pressure and trial, much strength? No fear that His resources will prove unequal to the emergency! And His resources are mine, for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me.

Such a great and precious promise from our faithful God and Father:

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Needs

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I watched the first disk of the first season of Monk last week.

Really liked it.

After finishing the last two episodes in one evening, I mentioned to Jay how nice it was to find another good source for my story “fix” that was positive/clean. I think I’m mentally setting this against, say, soap operas. Monk is a sort of modern Sherlock Holms, so it is a detective show.

Then, of course, as soon as I acknowledged my need for Story as a type of dependency I got both nervous and defensive. Nervous because I have to question whether each dependency is healthy, and defensive because I want to argue it isn’t, at least, unhealthy.

It got me thinking about all those needs we have that aren’t physical. Continue reading »

A little competition is all I need…

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For the first half of NaNo I was riding between or ahead of my two “buddies” that were in the front of my pack of four.

Then I had a few days of Elisha not napping when the girls did, and not wanting to be up until 11+ and my count slid. I still did a little everyday, but that was almost pathetic: less-than 400 2-days in a row, and I fell miserably behind those two.

Like, thousands of words behind them.

So I went poking around until I found someone else whose word count was closer to mine and had a reasonable daily pace (not one of those ignore it for 5 days than write 8,000-types). I added him to my buddy-list to watch his progress and became instantly more productive. I had a goal (Pass this guy) and even better I was at an exciting point in my story.

I’ve been just flying these last two days. I really ought to find a second somebody, so this doesn’t start to look personal ;-9

Anyway, current word-count: 37,351

I’m continually amazed that I’ve now spent this many words on one story. And there’s still more to go. I still wonder if the story will be done (or close to it) when I reach goal.

Another angle of amazed: I’m impressed I’ve stuck with this. Not that I don’t enjoy it (when I sit down and do it I usually do), but there are so many other enjoyments calling for my attention– that piano class I’m attending weekly, for example.  I’ve been glad Jay’s on-board with me, since if it were just me I probably would have found 25,000 enough to be impressed with for now and come back to it later.

Now I know what 37,000 feels like, and about how long it can take to get there. I’m very curious to see 50,000.

Great phone service

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I just have to say how much I like it when folks will actually take good time to answer questions well on the phone, and treat you like a worthy/potential customer even before you are in the store.

(I had a bunch of entry-level questions about skis for skijoring. Appreciated the fellow being patient and thorough. Did the math and figured I haven’t done this for 10-years or so. Definitely need a refresher.)

So Excited!

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But I guess that’s the way I always feel when I’m actually working on something.

I spent a couple hours last night actively working on my Children’s book.  Some of you may know I have this book I’ve always wanted for my own kids (for reading aloud) and have never been able to find it, so I decided to write it.

But it was only after visiting with some other children’s/picture book authors that I had enough structure to my idea to get this project where it is now.  I got it about half laid-out last night, but that used up most of my prepared material, and now I’m praying about what should come next.

It is exciting.  Working on an actual layout and having a progression that I can put in a proposal makes the whole thing much more real.

Is “homemaking” enough or isn’t it? (Pt. 4 of 4)

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Okay, this started out as a 3-parter, but I found there was a bit more I wanted to tie up.

Since I’m working under a title that’s supposed to be a question, I guess I’ll try to answer it from (how else can I?) my perspective.

Here’s the best I can think it right now:

  • If homemaking is “merely” maintaining your abode and filling the bellies of those who sleep there, then No. Absolutely it is not enough.

  • If it all is lovingly done “as to the Lord,” as well as for those that are fed, more than just physically, from your hand, and done conscientiously to create an atmosphere of peace, safety and all those things that are good, but take effort, then, Yes. It has to be enough.

The way we teach our children to value something is to show them that we value it (this is what I attribute our young children’s tremendous respect for books to).

If I fell into the habit of “looking” for some service to do, to supplement my home-work, I would effectively be telling my girls that what I do at home (or the people I serve by what I do at home) has less value than anything else I may do.

If I had been less brain-fogged (and guilted) into doing the shopping, it would have been at the direct expense of some already very stressed humans (myself included). It would have said, “I know (or don’t care) you are tired and over- stimulated and needing quiet time, but her needs are more important than (y)ours.”

The scripture that continually reverberates when I (consciously) weigh these decisions is 1 Timothy 5:8.

I’ll not attempt to explain the verse or draw out any deep meanings (and, yes, I know it isn’t directly tied to mothering) but I will say this: I believe my job is to (and does) provide for my family. So I must consider their needs first.

These are the basics.

But once those basics are covered, “service” can look like just about anything. It can be exciting and enjoyed. “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” (Gal. 6:10)

“As we have opportunity” seems like a good way to say, “What fits.” These (for me), in addition to my homemaking, are frequently those “divine appointments,” those perfectly coordinated “random” meetings that bless all parties, whether with an encouraging word or a helping hand.

They make me glow for days, and I understand again that we were created to serve.

Something very exciting to me is that I’m beginning to get that same thrill from things that happen in our home. It’s like a curtain is pulled back and I see an exciting potential. I observe an unprovoked act of kindness or service, and I experience the joy of feeling, We’re on the right track!