I watched the first disk of the first season of Monk last week.

Really liked it.

After finishing the last two episodes in one evening, I mentioned to Jay how nice it was to find another good source for my story “fix” that was positive/clean. I think I’m mentally setting this against, say, soap operas. Monk is a sort of modern Sherlock Holms, so it is a detective show.

Then, of course, as soon as I acknowledged my need for Story as a type of dependency I got both nervous and defensive. Nervous because I have to question whether each dependency is healthy, and defensive because I want to argue it isn’t, at least, unhealthy.

It got me thinking about all those needs we have that aren’t physical. The most obvious/acceptable example is love or companionship. That is actually the #2 on a list I heard from a speaker about “four basic human needs.” The order presented was:

  1. Security/safety
  2. Unconditional love
  3. Value
  4. Purpose

I liked the reasoning for the order of the first two: Security must come before love because in order to accept/receive love, one must surrender to it. In order to surrender one must feel safe. So safety has to come first.


So when thinking of such huge things Story hardly seems in the running, but I connect it at a different level. At this level I put story, music, conversation, and touch. These are all things I’ve found a need for on a daily basis. And I’ve found they work their way into my life quite naturally.

Becoming aware of my own hunger for Story has made me much more responsive to my children’s need. I’m more quick to read to them now, since at their age they have much fewer (does that phrase work?) sources for Story. And I don’t find one movie a day (even every day) to be excessive.

Melody, especially, seems to have a greater need for story. Natasha’s stronger need/want (based on types of requests from each of them) is for music.

This is very interesting to consciously observe. I only have to go through my own mental list, and I will quickly find something that will satisfy them. Really, they are fairly easy to please.

3 thoughts on “Needs

  1. That’s really interesting to read put into words. I would acknowledge my own need for Story after reading this. It’s an untitled need I’ve felt before. I think it’s the same desire that Tolkien and Lewis called “Myth.”

  2. Pingback: Family News » Blog Archive » Movies

  3. Pingback: Untangling Tales » Blog Archive » In Defense of “Movie” Dates

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