Adding Music?

Thinking with my fingertips again.
Attempting to ignore the sniffles, heartbroken, for my benefit, across the hall.

It’s nap-time.

~

Always in this state of constant reevaluation I’ve been looking again at music lessons/time for the girls. (My own regular time in practice has petered out and I am seeking for a way to reintegrate it.)

The poking around I call research has led me to some interesting new thoughts about children and instruments. I agree with the conclusion (per Suzuki) that parents can introduce anything that is important to them (I’m naturally thinking of Faith at this moment), but also agree with the author I link to above that the biggest problem in learning an instrument can be starting too early.

These ideas do mesh well enough. Cutietta attributes the problem to something calls learned helplessness: A child is “started” on an instrument (by his own or his parents’ choice) that she is not physically able to manipulate properly, and learns she can’t do it, no matter how had she tries.

Especially if the child is sensitive, this repeated failure despite effort saps his heart’s willingness to continue, so much that by the time he’s actually big enough, this child already “knows” he can’t do it, no matter how hard he tries.

This is a very similar phenomenon to the one I’ve heard where the baby elephant is trained that the ankle chain is too strong for him to break free of, and he continues to believe it is true even as an adult, when it no longer is.

Suzuki gets around this by training young children on instruments that have been sized especially for them.

~

With this in mind, I’ve avoided putting too much emphasis on “real” guitar playing, as even my Baby Taylor is too large for my girls.

At my husband’s suggestion (he was getting some sound-equipment for the church at the music store) I went and bought the girls a ukulele. It is a lovely size for them, and they enjoy playing it while I practice guitar.

Now I am poking around again, and trying to find if I can do something Suzuki-ish with ukulele.

My (currently) biggest difficulty is that the most-available resources (what I’ve found so far) all emphasize the Hawaiian roots (it was originally from Portugal, I understand) and, naturally, their music.

This is not at all interesting or motivating to my girls, because they have no familiarity with that type of music. (Smack me if you must, but I am not drawn to it either, which would be why they haven’t heard it.)

So… if any of my vast readership have any resources or ideas (my dad is on a cross-country trip or I would have started there) of how to adapt the ukulele to ear-training-based, classical (-ish) music, I’d be interested to hear it.

Next question (naturally) is proving it is important enough to move from desirable in the hierarchy to actively doing.

That remains to be seen.

That poor third verse…

Does anyone else feel sorry for that neglected third verse in four-verse songs?

 It seems like it’s the consistent casualty in our culture’s affinity to 3s.

 (That’s one of my favorite things about the way my current church does hymns: we do *all* the verses.)

iPod Meme

I’ve already got the feeling I’ll have at least as many book chapter titles as song titles.


Instructions:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!

How do you feel today?
The Passing of the Grey Company–The Return of the King (JRR Tolkien)

What’s your outlook on life?
Riddles in the Dark– The Hobbit (Tolkien)

What does your family think of you?
Soulin’ — Astra Kelly

What do your friends think of you?
He is a Song– Twila Paris

What do your exes think of you?
Sunrise– John Michael Talbot

How’s your love life?
Savior of my Heart– Sheila Walsh

How will your love life be in the future?
The Prophet– Michael Card

Will you get married?
Where Does My Help Come From– Shalom Jerusalem

Are you good at school?
The Queen of Narnia– The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (C.S. Lewis)

Will you be successful?
Stranded– Plumb

What song should they play on your birthday?
In the House of Tom Bombadil– Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien) There is a *neat* instrumental with a similar title by Nickel Creek (is it?); a rollicking, lively tune that would be excellent for my birthday if someone wanted to send it my way…

What song should they play at your graduation?
The Black Gate is Closed– The Two Towers (Tolkien)

The Soundtrack of your life?
Happy all the Time– Baby’s Best Bible Songs

You and your best friends are?
Two Tragedies (Ouch!) — The Last Battle (Lewis)

Happy times:
Be Our Guest– Beauty and the Beast soundtrack (the stage musical)

Sad times:
Journey to the Crossroads– The Two Towers (Tolkien)

Every day:
Talking Beasts– Prince Caspian (Lewis)

For tomorrow:
The Storm and What Came of It– The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Lewis)

For you:
Murlough Bay— Iona

What does next year have in store for me?
Let the River Flow– Darrell Evens

What do I say when life gets too hard?
Tradition– Fiddler on the Roof

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
The Lord Reigns (Actually it was “We Rejoice in the Grace of God,” but this works too.)

What do you want as your career?
The Window on the West– The Two Towers (Tolkien)

Your favorite saying?
Be Bold and be Strong– Hosanna/Integrity

How will I die?
The Gentle Healer– Michael Card

This was a *kick*! Some of these are sooo thought provoking… others are just provoking ;o)

Do we get a prize?

For a week now, Jay has cleaned the living room and vacuumed it each night.

For a week now, I have daily taken some form of outdoor, active exercise; a walk (with my dog and 20-lb “pack”), or a 17-minute bike ride.

We both feel ready for some sort of prize. I guess this is where/why someone came up with that old saying:

Virtue is its own reward.

Yeah. I guess so…

Current Life Summary

I just wrote an e-mail to someone I haven’t spoken to in some time. My final paragraph seemed like a great life-summary for just now:

We’re still in our house we bought in 2002, our youngest just turned a year old, and we just acquired a dog.

Anybody who doesn’t know dogs and kids thinks I’m nuts (either about the three kids or the dog, depending which they’re partial to). Me, I just feel blessed. Tired, sometimes, and frequently distracted, yes, but definitely blessed in God’s provision for our family.

God seems to have molded into my character the ability to feel positive and thankful even when I’m too tired to entirely act that way.

He is a very gracious God. I’d rather have this (and know the energy to act will eventually return) than merely be a decent actress and have to constantly redirect my heart.

Dependence

“Child-like dependence.”

The phrase makes me think of a dependence so utter that it can not even understand its dependency or articulate its need.

This is not the “cute” dependency of a baby or toddler gazing adoringly into your face as you cuddle.

This is the exhausted, hungry, sunburned child who is such an inarticulate puddle of maxed-out emotion and discomfort that she can’t tell you which need is greatest and might even reject overtures of help as attacks on her (albeit insufficient) autonomy.

My poor Melody was this yesterday. Elisha cutting teeth was this most of the night. Natasha well past nap was this today, minus the hungry.

And cross Mother is definitely at that place of inarticulate dependence.

All I can pray is, “It’s a good thing your Spirit prays for me when I don’t have the words, because I’m ‘standing in the need of’ without even the understanding enough to think what it is I should ask for.”

One More Dog-talk

This is mostly the sort of thing I’d do at my home blog, but since I don’t really get comments there I felt like gabbing here this time.

The other part of my dog’s make-up is some kind of bull-terrier. Probably Staffordshire. I made the choice yesterday (it was the morning of our monthly women’s meeting– this one was a tea workshop/tasting. Fascinating.) to say I had adopted a small lab-mix.

Entirely true, this allowed me to describe my new family member without needing to defend her, or my choice, just yet.

Actually, when I happily shared that I had finally gotten the dog one of the church mothers laughed, and said, “I knew she was either going to say she’d gotten a dog or was pregnant. I guess we’ll have the dog first.”

There is one woman in this group who also has a dog, and she seemed to understand my excitement.

“Amy has been praying about this for a long time,” she pointed out.

In a chicken-or-the-egg manner I wonder if this is why Shadow seems to fit so well– the groundwork laid, or the “right” dog provided/picked.

I suppose it’s a combination, though I like Katz’s observations in that article.

~~~

In getting a pity-lab I decided to “spurn the world’s opinion,” and in describing her as a lab, I am attempting to save us both from general opprobrium.

I think it’s not unreasonable to assume that those who will recognize (or ask about) the pit in Shadow will be close enough also to notice the permeating sweetness of her disposition.

This may only work until the first person meets her, or it may last longer. I just want to do what I can to get her a fair hearing.

It is this pit-ness that makes me ultra-sensitive to how she responds to newness, and other dogs in particular.

~

Shadow seems to be aware of people’s perceptions of her. She has reacted fearfully to the three grown-ups that were apprehensive of her but still tried to interact.

Two of these were my parents, to whom I had/have done my best to explain the solidness and general positivity of the breed locally (we have no dogfighting in our area, so the breed’s popularity is as a pet, and the majority of temperaments are representative of that.)

Shadow was very fearful of them and avoided contact until after we all went on a long walk.

By the end of that, both the dog and my parents seemed to have seen enough to make them all comfortable, and all parted on fine terms.

The most interesting thing to me about that walk was my husband did all the dog handling. A few times he jogged with her reluctant participation.

“This is a great dog to jog with,” he came back to tell us. “Makes me feel really fast: I’m out-running a dog!

His analysis when we got home:

“I don’t care what her breed is, or how they’re ‘supposed’ to act. She’s done better in two-days with minimal training than [our last lab-mix] did” in four months.

My dog-resistant husband is letting himself be won-over. That is saying a great deal.

I could make a list (but I won’t here) about all the specific ways Shadow is meshing with our family, and they greatly outweigh the small things we’re working around.

As nervous as I feel, and it is just a little (I can’t help it– can one totally ignore the pounding to mistrust?), I see God graciously re-confirming this is a proper match, and want to work carefully to secure that.

Nothing Clever Today

I’ve started this post four or five times, and it keeps being more of a laundry-list than anything else.

But:

I now have my dog.

She isn’t vizsla (though she does have the compact, muscular body with the short hair– dark brown instead of russet), and she isn’t a Brittany (though she is that size and already proving quite trainable and perfect with the kids).

I just mention the above because those were the breeds I was researching/pursuing the most recently.
A lab-mix, Shadow displays the best of the mellow of that breed, and has learned since Thursday night several things that are very desirable to our family.

She has even managed to not-bother Jay, though that may be as much to Jay’s credit as the dog’s.

It was Jay who emphasized we shouldn’t consider the animal shelter’s 10-day exchange policy as a trial period.

“I expect the transition to be bumpy,” he said. “So we just need to commit to her and go for it.”

Amazingly, the transition has been rather smooth, so far. The girls are becoming more assertive and Shadow is learning quickly.

The one rough spot we’ve had was Friday night when the neighbor across the street brought her dog over to meet our new arrival. That deteriorated into awful barking from both of them, so we didn’t trust them nearer each other.

We neither of us lost control of our animals, but neither dog really listened to our embarrassed orders to be quiet or “nice” either. We might try again in a week or two, to see if Shadow being more settled will make a difference.

In the mean-time, I’m going to begin classes with her, and I’m hoping the presence of a more experienced dog-person will make a difference in canine introductions. There have been no problems with people.

Both girls have really embraced their role as the dog’s boss (something in question earlier in the week), and Natasha’s favorite thing right now is “walking” the dog– holding her leash and pretending to chose which direction they go in. She frequently tries to “sneak” the leash out of my hand when I’m talking to someone, but I will only let them walk together in the fenced yard.

Sometimes Shadow indulges Natasha’s preference, and sometimes Natasha is reminded the dog is stronger.

It is very fun to watch them together.

The Things I Hate.

Just now I have only a few things on my mind, but perhaps I’ll add to this later.

I’m talking here about… local things; things I have seen/participated in, rather than the huge things like genocide and child abuse.

(I’d hope those things can go without saying.)

Because today they’re on my mind:

  1. Smashing cake in your beloved’s face, on the day you vowed before God and Man to honor and cherish him/her until death. I think something dies there. Starting with trust.
  2. Making course jokes about the wedding night at a bridal shower. I *hate* watching something sacred made cheap. Especially when it’s done at one person’s expence (e.g. embarrassing the bride).
    1. This is simply unkindness, and has no place among true friends. I’m sorry to say I’ve seen this more than once.
    2. Clue: if the bride’s toes are curling, you’ve already gone too far
  3. (Speaking of “things sacred”) Saying to a mother marveling over the perfection of her newborn, “Hard to believe she’s just a little sinner, huh.” (I’m happy to say I’ve never actually heard this from someone with children of their own).
  4. People saying, “I bet you’ll be glad when they go off to school!” I look these people in the eye and say I’m planning to homeschool. This seems to flummox them into complements for some reason.

I’m happy to say only 3 and 4 have happened to me personally, but you may guess I take flack as a wet blanket on the other two.

I’ve noticed with 1 and 2 people either agree with me or don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. I try to explain my reasoning graciously, and find some people have never thought of it that way before.

Some people get defensive, but those are the types where I tend to question their definition of fun.

If you find pleasure in other people’s discomfort it’s time to reevaluate.