Category Archives: Advice

Thinking About What Children’s Songs are Saying

Posted on by

(I can’t believe this is my first post about music. Music is a *big* part of my life. But so is eating, and sleeping, and I don’t blog about those, so… Anyway.)

As a word-person I’ve always been very clear on any song’s lyric and content before letting my kids hear me sing it. My tip/challenge (as the nit-picky, literal-interpretor I can be):

Don’t just sing “children’s” songs because they’re children’s songs. Make sure you agree with their message too.

Many of them are sweet, and we can sing things that go over their heads if we feel like it, but at least let’s not be unaware.

The types of things I’ve modified:

  • Down by the Bay— the fun rhyming-song Raffi made popular (I’m not sure who wrote it.)
    • DH inserted, “back to my home I want to go” (replacing “Back to my home I dare not go.” Don’t we want our kids thinking coming home will be fun?).
  • Row Your Boat
    • Changed the last line to “life is full of dreams” (replacing “Life is but a dream,” an unhealthy philosophy that’s been around for centuries.)
  • Lavender’s Blue (dilly dilly)
    • “Call out your men, set them to work… while you and I… keep ourselves warm.”  (Oh, look, a new euphemism for Mom and Dad  to use.)
    • It makes me smile but also is something I don’t much want my kids singing.

Am I word-obsessed? You could argue that. Over-analyzing?  Probably.

But these are words I’m planting in my young children’s minds as the way things are. They know the bit about “A llama eating pajamas” is nonsense, because of the context, but they are only just entering the age where we can say, this part is real, and this part isn’t. And I’ve been singing to them their whole lives.

And they’re *really* not ready to understand that philosophy (somebody want to remind me of the name? I’ve mis-placed my book).

I prefer just to avoid the stuff I don’t want to explain later. And that, I guess, is my “standard” for now.

More ideas at Rocks in my Dryer.

~~~

Added 2-3-07:

If you’re looking for a playable collection of children’s songs here are a bunch with chords.

WFMW– Throw Away Your Lens Cap

Posted on by

When I was a photography major in college (grad in 2002) my Basic Photo teacher pointed out one of the best ways to get more great photos was simply to take more pictures. And the way to get more pix (other than always having your camera with you) is to make it easy: ditch the lens cap.

That extra half-second to be ready can reduce the number of pix you take, the way having to maintain a food journal reduces the amount some people eat. It’s one more step.

My favorite thing now (and the first thing I do after buying a new camera) is to go buy a simple UV filter to screw on the front of the lens. This

  • Provides basic protection (like a regular cap)
  • Is relatively inexpensive (especially compared to the cost of the camera/lens)
  • Has the advantage of being clear, and eliminating the lens-cap lag-time.

Works for me! (More ideas at Rocks in my Dryer)

My New Essential Roadside-Emergency Item

Posted on by

I just found Works For Me Wednesday, and thought it sounded cool. Here’s mine.

This winter I discovered a new item to keep in my car in case of emergency.

A sled.

Forgive me if it’s something standard I just never noticed before.

With three children under age-five it’s my new essential to recommend to anybody with more than one kid. When it’s cold (we’ve had a couple -40 stretches already this winter), you just don’t want to move at a pre-schooler’s pace. At least, not my pre-schoolers’ outdoor pace. They seem to slow with the cold, like molasses.

Motherhood vs. Career?

Posted on by

Another random-advice article.

The questions in the forum I visit have been nice writing prompts :) I think I like blogging these because they are sort of attitude-landmarks. They articulate how I feel about a particular issue.

The topic here is the question of whether a happily married gal just out of college should have babies (and stay home with them) or a career first.

Those asking the question seem to be stuck between two scares:

  1. Being unmarketable (because they’ve spent X-number of years out of the workforce).
  2. Being unable to have children without medical intervention because they waited too long.

The arguments that I was reacting to included the assertions that the young woman ought to enjoy life before becoming encumbered by children, and that (after working so hard to get her degree) she had a near-moral obligation to do something with it. There was also the question of whether she wanted to risk the happiness of her marriage on children (yet).

~

There are people who will warn you about how a baby will change your relationship, and it will, but it doesn’t have to destroy or even weaken it.

I heard a lot of stories about that while pregnant the first time. They unsettled me, but ended up not applying to us at all.

What helped us, I believe, was Jay’s paternity leave and his heavy involvement while he was home.

We were working actively on the same team and it was a boot-camp bonding experience: both challenging and encouraging to our marriage.

More and more employers (if the women’s mags are right) are seeing the value of the women returning to the work force in their 30s and 40s, and are eager for the “real-life” skills these women bring.

Trust me, you will gain valuable work- and real-world-experience learning to manage a home, live frugally on one income and stimulate/encourage your children in their individual talents.

If you haven’t guessed already I am a SAHM, and it is a full-time job. Not just the always-on-call type of full-time job, but the type I must study for. Reading and researching to stay on top of my game.

It is preparing me for so many future plans that I write them down and squirrel them away. Sometimes I work on them, sometimes I tack a future date on them, but I don’t have to deny them.

And when thinking about age, don’t forget how much (active!) life continues long beyond your fertile years. “Getting your fun in” doesn’t have to happen all in your 20s. Especially if you’ve already found your life-partner.

Just, don’t be afraid of time.

 

How to Become a Saint While Changing Diapers

Posted on by

You gotta love that title. It’s another chapter title from The Angel and the Ants (here if you want to browse the other excerpts).

Reading this chapter I felt again that twinge I get when wishing my life now showed the fruits of a more structured childhood (not that I’d want to have lived that childhood, necessarily, but it would be nice to have had all that learning and training behind me). Both musicians (Suzuki-type) and traditional Catholics are (I imagine) simply stuffed full of information at an age where there are fewer distractions to prevent its taking root.

The reason I think of this now, is that Kreeft sites several fine distinctions on the “do all as unto the Lord” idea, from broader reading than I would have found without him, and applies it to this idea of “living a life of sanctity” emphasized in his book.

“Seeds,” he calls them, and they are drawn from that sea of tradition and reading available for those brave enough to wade in:

  • From The Devine Milieu Kreeft shares the suggestion that “Not only our operatio but also our opus, not only our acts of working, but also the works we produce will somehow be used by God … We are to be doing the very best work we can because that work is to be part of God’s eternal kingdom, unimaginably transformed by death and resurrection. We are cooperating with God right now in building this new world; our pen, or shovel, or computer, is the extension of the fingers of Christ, the body of Christ.”
  • Summarizing Opus Dei, Kreeft says, its “whole reason for existence is to address the problem of the sanctification of daily work directly and explicitly. Its fundamental answer is traditional: to offer up our work to God, to pour the infinitely precious soul of a pure intention, a Godward intention, into every secular action.”
  • Kreeft observes that Vatican II encouraged Catholics to “study and profit from the wisdom in other world religions.” Here is an example he takes from the Bhagavad-Gita, a Hindu book (Kreeft’s words):
    • “The way to sanctity amidst activity is to work not for the fruit of the work, not out of desire for success, not looking forward, but looking backwards, so to speak, to the source and motive of the act: love and duty and obedience to God. Do what you do because it is your God-given task now. If you act out of desire for success, you bind yourself to the fear of failure. If we will only one thing– God’s will– we are free.” (emphasis mine)
  • Finally, a quote from Mother Theresa: “God did not put me here to be successful. God put me here to be faithful.”

Depending on the mood or state-of-mind I am in, any of these ideas may be the one that strikes home, and causes me to reassess my attitude and approach to my current work(s). Along with the Lewis quote I mentioned earlier, these are things I want to keep in mind.

Is “homemaking” enough or isn’t it? (Pt. 4 of 4)

Posted on by

Okay, this started out as a 3-parter, but I found there was a bit more I wanted to tie up.

Since I’m working under a title that’s supposed to be a question, I guess I’ll try to answer it from (how else can I?) my perspective.

Here’s the best I can think it right now:

  • If homemaking is “merely” maintaining your abode and filling the bellies of those who sleep there, then No. Absolutely it is not enough.

  • If it all is lovingly done “as to the Lord,” as well as for those that are fed, more than just physically, from your hand, and done conscientiously to create an atmosphere of peace, safety and all those things that are good, but take effort, then, Yes. It has to be enough.

The way we teach our children to value something is to show them that we value it (this is what I attribute our young children’s tremendous respect for books to).

If I fell into the habit of “looking” for some service to do, to supplement my home-work, I would effectively be telling my girls that what I do at home (or the people I serve by what I do at home) has less value than anything else I may do.

If I had been less brain-fogged (and guilted) into doing the shopping, it would have been at the direct expense of some already very stressed humans (myself included). It would have said, “I know (or don’t care) you are tired and over- stimulated and needing quiet time, but her needs are more important than (y)ours.”

The scripture that continually reverberates when I (consciously) weigh these decisions is 1 Timothy 5:8.

I’ll not attempt to explain the verse or draw out any deep meanings (and, yes, I know it isn’t directly tied to mothering) but I will say this: I believe my job is to (and does) provide for my family. So I must consider their needs first.

These are the basics.

But once those basics are covered, “service” can look like just about anything. It can be exciting and enjoyed. “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” (Gal. 6:10)

“As we have opportunity” seems like a good way to say, “What fits.” These (for me), in addition to my homemaking, are frequently those “divine appointments,” those perfectly coordinated “random” meetings that bless all parties, whether with an encouraging word or a helping hand.

They make me glow for days, and I understand again that we were created to serve.

Something very exciting to me is that I’m beginning to get that same thrill from things that happen in our home. It’s like a curtain is pulled back and I see an exciting potential. I observe an unprovoked act of kindness or service, and I experience the joy of feeling, We’re on the right track!

Boundaries for Behavior

Posted on by

I came across this quote while reading an article on the Boundless webzine.

It was written by Susanna Wesley to her son while he was away at college. Apparently he had written to ask her for a list of sins he should avoid while away (?!). I can only presume this was to allow himself a human conscience (that might forget something) rather than invoking divine guidance that would doubtless be more thorough.

She did well though. Instead of making a list of vices she made a list of descriptions. I thought this was great:

Whatever weakens your reason, whatever impairs the tenderness of your conscience, whatever obscures your sense of God, whatever increases the authority of your body over your mind, whatever takes away from your relish for spiritual things, that to you is sin, no matter how innocent it is in itself.