Author Archives: Amy Jane

Two Recommended Picture Books

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First, A Splendid Friend, Indeed by Suzanne Bloom.

As a mother who likes to read and write and think (the beleaguered polar bear’s interrupted activities), this book is wonderful means of conveying both my frustration at being interrupted and the value still attached to my relationship with the interrupter.

I found it a couple years ago, but it was just this year that I saw its perfectness for our house and bought it for Elisha’s 3rd birthday.  The goose is oblivious to the polar bear’s expressions of frustration, but my girls have noticed them and we are able to talk about things like polite interrupting and interpreting body language.

Second is the potentially-disturbing Heckedy Peg by Audrey Wood.

This was the answer for my (mentioned) desire for a wicked-witch story.

Hansel and Gretel will eventually be one, but I want to wait on that, being very careful about the stories I introduce to my children (and their timing).

For any newbies (or for a refresher) here is the progression I’m trying to use when teaching my children about evil:

  • Saint George and the Dragon: Evil exists and brave people must fight it.
  • Heckety Peg: Evil exists in human form, and can effect children
    • disobedience makes us more vulnerable
  • Hansel and Gretel: Evil exists in human form and sometimes children must deal with it.

This last step is something I’m waiting another two or three years for.  In the meantime, Heckedy Peg emphasizes some good things.

  • Hard work is both necessary, natural (rare in any children’s books) and rewarded
  • Disobedience is dangerous
  • Mother protects her children– both with warnings and action
    • In the end the rescue is effected by how well the mother knows the individualities of her brood (of seven!)
  • Mother won’t give up fighting for her children

For this stage the power and action of the mother is the most important. Most picture books and stories emphasize the autonomy and discoveries of the child(ren), but in this case the goal is not to put the onus on the child to do the saving.

It is utterly appropriate for children to depend on their mother for saving, and that natural expectation is fulfilled, reinforcing the security of the children snuggled in and listening.

Thinking in these terms now I see this is what I saw in Wiley and the Hairy Man, which I would place between Heckedy Peg and H&G in my progression: Wiley has to deal with the Hairy Man himself, but he also has the advice of his far-sighted mother to guide him and herself to (later) protect him.

No clever conclusion here, just the observation that these two books have been very useful beyond simply entertaining my kids.  It’s books like these that I love to discover.

The Blessing of Cluelessness

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I just realized this morning that I was being insulted yesterday.

That is, I felt the interaction was unfair, and that I somehow wasn’t saying the right thing, but I was not aware until today how (basically) rude and provoking the people were being.

In their defense, they may not have realized it either. It might just be in their nature to go for what they perceive as an opening; in which case I’m doubly thankful I was clueless, because that precluded defensiveness on both sides.

Anyway, I mentioned  that life will be getting even busier soon since school will be starting, then added the clarification that we are homeschooling.

“Oh,” says Person-A, “Will Jay be teaching them math?”

“He could,” I said, surprised at the question and not wanting to make Jay look bad by saying he’s not currently planning on doing any of the teaching.

“I was just thinking he ought to be able to,” Person-A finished.

Then (this was my moment of lucidity) I realized Person-A had just insinuated it took an engineer to teach 1st-grade math.

“Are you implying,” I asked, genuinely hoping to embarrass him, “That I can’t teach 6-year-old math?”

Yes, that’s what he was implying.  He didn’t even try to defend himself.

I was surprised, but shrugged it off.  It wasn’t important to me what he thought.

It wasn’t until later that night, thinking again of the leggy Darwin fish on the car in his driveway, and remembering the sign during voting season for the local fellow I wasn’t voting for, that I began to feel something about our interaction wasn’t right.

And then this morning I realized that I had gone into the conversation utterly unprepared.

I had gone to admire a delicious new baby and prattle family small-talk and keep up positive neighborhood relations.

It was not in my mind that I was entering as an ambassador of Christ, and Homeschooling, and Conservative Thought, and Purposeful Parenting.

Lord-willing, that will never happen again.

I acted as though I was a friend among familiars, being sloppy in my explanations and imprecise in my reasons.  In short, I did more to reinforce any (diminished) view they may have of those things I represent than to correct it.

And maybe “it wasn’t that bad,” but the problem is that I didn’t enter as an ambassador, aware of what I represented.  If I’d had the right mentality going in, I know I would have done better (If I’d only know this was a job interview…).

I might have recognized the “playing” of me and my ideas before the next day, and maybe refused to play.  I want to think I’d still not be offended (it never serves a diplomat to be offended), but I could have been more “professional” and less of an airhead.

Again, not that I’m sure I was the opposite extreme, it’s just that I muffed a fine opportunity to muck up their stereotypes.

And I find that disappointing.

All the same, I haven’t yet learned how to respond politely to subtle insults, and it occurs to me that had I fully known what was going on I might have been a poorer representative of Christ than I already was.

I am thankful to have had a “learning experience” than didn’t cost too much, and find a renewed interest in investigating both the history and training of ambassadors.

It’s a study I feel could be beneficial even on a dabbling level.

Wasting Time

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My sensible self is rolling its eyes at this evening’s activity, but the rest of me is giddy at how much I got done– on a completely new project.

I started a new blog tonight (yes, yes, I know I have too much time on my hands).

In that my toddler brain can’t stand any idea-food touching, I’ve taken the information-collecting part of my weight-loss (primarily recipe-collecting) to its own space.

I hated the idea that I would be talking about weight-loss forever (I surely hope not!), but I wanted a place to talk about life-style modification/growth, and realized that that is a corner of stuff I talk about here, so I’ll have to decide if I focus on just recipes and life-style stuff over there, and keep this place as it is, or (as the other blog title suggests) I could put my advice and “life hacks” over there too.

It would free this place up to focus more specifically on reading and writing, which would be nice in a way, but I get the impression that my (few) faithful readers actually prefer the mix.

Does anybody want to weigh in on that?

Where to Start Cutting Words From Your Novel

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The conversion of this blog post and this novel was the motivation for my recent purge of words.

The impressively quick process of cutting gives me great hope and excitement that (once I’ve reviewed my second half well enough to cut it similarly mercilessly) I’ll be in completely “normal” teritory on my word-count.

What neither motivating source gave me, however, was hints or guidelines about where to look to begin cutting.

I’m down over 10,000 words since I started seriously cutting two days ago: setting word-count at 116,486 as I dive into the second half of my story.

Please, no snarky comments about how cheap my work must be to cut so much so quickly.  A big part of being able to do this was

  1. My *blah* over the many-but-unenriching words in Magyk
  2. The familiarity-with-distance that I had from (relatively) recent revision, allowing me to be certain of content without the seductive re-reading that creates the certainty these words must be read by everyone.

So here is my contribution to the discussion, for whatever it’s worth.

Things these last two days have taught me about good words to cut:

  • If the majority of a passage is “character development” or explaining something to the reader, I just need better/clearer writing in a different spot– not 700 words here.
    • Blue will always be blue when you see in in the light– it doesn’t matter how much of it you see.  In the same way, Runa will always present as Runa, as long as I know who she is and present that.
      • She is not the main character, so if her inner life is a little less-explored, I will be forgiven.
  • If the main event of a passage can be explained in a sentence– and that information can be inserted with fewer words elsewhere– that would be a good idea.
    • From my notes:
      • Cut the long conversation on the way back from the first fight (End of scene 42).  Somewhere else need to make clear:
        • Ivan adores Linnea
        • On the strength of his love for her she wrings a promise not to use magic for a time
  • If watching a scene creates more questions (that require more words to answer) about something outside the main action, cutting is a gift to yourself: you are reducing your to-do list.
  • If you see something distinctly outside of your pattern (in my case it was switching POV within a chapter– only four out of 50+ scenes had this) prime material for cutting is before you.
    • By the same rule I am currently prevented from cutting what I feel are a couple weaker scenes, simply because their disappearance would break the rhythm that has been giving structure to the whole up till now.
      • This will probably warrant “professional help.”  Unless my test-readers think more of it that I do.  But I find that hard to imagine.
  • If the result is more important than the process (be honest: sometimes you’re only getting from point A to point B), see if you can just jump-cut to point B.  Trust that your readers (who were just shown how much the character needs to leave point A) will make the leap with you.

These are the reasons behind my current flurry of slicing.  The fact I’ve been forced to fallow the novel several weeks helps too, I’ll admit.

Any more ideas from the audience?  What kind of suggestions can you extrapolate from that book or movie (or mss) that wouldn’t *end*?

Cut 6,000 words

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And it was relatively easy.  I wanted to do more, but found it was easier to see what was unnecessary in the first half that I had rehashed already.

I trust I’ll be able to do it in the second half once it’s done.

Life’s been full.  That’s what blog-silence is supposed to say.

I’ve been without my laptop for weeks now, which means no quick grab-and-go moments with a laptop in the evenings since I have to coordinate sharing with Jay’s.

And since I’ve got enough other things to do that I don’t have much reason to wrestle him for it.

I’ve gotten my first 5-weeks of lesson plans drawn up, which is quite a feat that I am very proud of.  I’ve been finding all sorts of treasures at the used-book stores for school, and a few for me (Ranger’s Apprentice #4, for example, after I picked up #3 with a gift card).

And after looking at Delicious Library 2 I totally want a Mac. (I’ve wanted one for it’s lit keyboard too.  I’m totally fickle about platforms. I don’t *love* either one– I just want really specific things– like being able to type in a dark room and being able to track where I’ve put what books.)

Jay pointed out Dell finally has an illuminated keyboard.  Does anyone know a home-library program for PC that will track what I box I put each book into?

Anyway, I’ve got grand plans for the start of school, and continuing my novel and reading these fabulous finds I’ve collected… all to be enjoyed more fully when I’m not so tired.

With as painless as that major cutting was, I’m really looking forward to finishing the second half and seeing if I can do it again.  I’ll be in almost-normal territory by then. If you’re talking length, like I am.

Another “Coined” Something

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As in, it’s new to me (like this one).

It’s kind of gross, but that probably reflects my attitude toward it.

Affirmation Bulimic

I’m sure you’ve met these people, because I have; I’ve occasionally fought not to become one myself.

These are those individuals, starving for affirmation– for words of encouragement and approval– who go around with their beggar’s cup outstretched then throw back everything they’re offered.

I surmise the psychology behind these emotional bulimics is parallel to that of physical bulimics.  I’ve heard the reasons may range from self-loathing or a feeling of unworthiness to a simple matter of habit or muscle memory.

Whatever the reason, I think it’s nearly as unhealthy as the more familiar form of bulimia.  This alienates people and cuts the “sufferers” off from their increasingly narrow source of all they are seeking…

Anyway, I’m sure there are more parallels that those closer to the affliction could draw, but this is enough for my purposes– a self-warning (that I hope others will take as well) that “simply swallowing,” accepting kind words as they are,  is the healthiest response to a complement– fished for or not.

Still Chipping Away

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I’ve officially made it to the half-way mark.  Yay me.

More accurately, Yay God for providing the people who share my world and my kids.

I’ve worked on my novel on the mornings my children play with friends, and in the evenings I’ve been continuing to get ready for school.

(Starting on the 17th of August.  Clock’s ticking.)

One element of preparation has been to work out a schedule, and toward that end I’ve been working my way through the MOTH workbook.  This morning I officially *finished* assembling a (mathematically) workable schedule.

I have made schedules before, and they didn’t “work” for me, but based on how useful I found WW– despite it not actually offering any new information– I figured a very basic, highly structured approach could also be useful.

Best as I can evaluate so far, it has been.  I’m looking at something that seems possible, that I’ll only have to implement half of for at least a month.

The interesting thing about this workbook is how it guides you to begin by listing “What God wants you to accomplish in a day.”  This starts things out with a proper perspective, and keeps my to-do desire  in perspective.

Since we know that God prepares the work he has for us to do, and that he prepares us for the work, there is in my mind the settled assurance that everything He wants me to do for Him (and it’s all to be done as to the Lord, right?) will fit.

With the focused use of time, I can interact individually with my children, and (at least) begin teaching those things I’d be disappointed if I didn’t try for.  I also have a slot for writing each day and for maintaining my home.

Those slots may become somewhat interchangeable if I can prove to myself that maintenance is possible with less devotion, but for now the fact that I can have a sacred hour every day should make it easier to do home-keeping first.

~ ~ ~

Moving into the second half of the novel, I am going to be meeting “younger” work than I have revised in years. And while I console myself by saying these “first-draft” additions are probably already at the 3rd- or 4th- revision level (if I could compare their quality to my first-first draft), they still are very young and un-tried.

So I have to expect the process to be slower.

Still, I am excited, because I now have a level of comfort that I won’t need to abandon the writing altogether, making it easier to spread my focus out as I continue to prepare for school.

I know how to move slowly; I just don’t want to stop moving.

And here we come back to knowing what God wants of one, and trusting that he will provide a way to obey.

I know God wants me to write this story.  I do not know yet if He wants it published, but I know I have to be responsible for my own obedience, whatever He plans to do with it.

The Best Laid Plans…

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My computer is now en route to Dell for Doctoring.

Jay transferred my e-mail and Firefox to a stick that I am able to work off of, but apparently my novel and related documents (including the most-current version of my novel) are on a different stick that has been misplaced.

This has only served to be yet another strand between me and finishing my novel.

Before school starts, that is.

And if I don’t finish before school starts it will most-certainly be shelved until we get into our new routine (she said determinedly).

I have chosen a very demanding, high teacher-involvement course of study, and have determined (as a sort of shaping criterion) that I’d rather not have regrets.  So I’m planning in terms of What will I *wish* I had done?

Which, granted, is still very embryonic– since I’m not yet sure how I’ll implement everything I’d want to do.

This last month (June) has been very educational for me:

  • I’ve learned my life can be full enough to push out writing
    • I joined Weight Watchers. Relearning how to cook will fill a lot of your life.
  • I’ve learned I can put writing on hold
  • I’ve learned I can return, albeit with less passion and *need* to immerse myself to the exclusion of my world.
    • This could be good or bad, depending on your goals, but for where I’m at it is good, because “holding loosely” needs to be the MO for this season of my life, and when inclination seconds necessity, I rejoice.

I think all these things were preparation for homeschooling beginning for real next month.

Yes, Fairbanksans begin school in August. It means being done with first semester before Christmas, and out for summer in May.  This is good because, while “newness” will keep kids inside for the sunny days of August, there’s not much can keep Alaskan kids focused once the snow starts melting.

Anyway, one day to not have access is a relief in one way: I can focus on non-writing miscellanea for a bit, and fully focusing on the approaching life-change.

I feel like I’m pregnant again.

Not physically, but mentally.

I’m preparing for an utterly new stage that I simply could not accommodate before– but then, I didn’t need to before.

I am most certainly nesting. Preparing.  And it’s hard not to give in to Natasha’s and Melody’s entreaties to begin early.

But I am determined to wait until I’m as ready as I can be: all texts here, their timing lined out, and the reality check of instruction-hours vs. available hours completed before it runs us over, incapacitating or maiming us in its Joule-like enthusiasm.

If I can’t find the document stick today Jay will bring home a copy of my Lindorm folder from work.  He mirrored my drive before removing my personal stuff and sending it with the laptop off to Dell.

I’m sure my peaceful blandness about the project will be quickly dissolved tomorrow with the opportunity to work uninterrupted.  (The children will be playing with one of their adopted aunties all morning.) “If it is the Lord’s will,” I still think the novel could be ready for its testers before August, but I can’t stress about it any more.

I’ve got more important things to focus on. :)

An example where a fairy tale helped me

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My first child’s birth was a blur. Roughly 12 hours from the first contractions till I held her.

My second’s birth was 3 hours, start-to-finish, with approximately 4-times the intensity of the first one.

Facing my next delivery less than two years after that unpleasant surprise (the labor, not the baby) I felt an understandable measure of anxiety about the impending birth.

Like many Christians I quoted Philippians 4:13 to myself, and focused on the certainty that I could trust God’s provision for every need I may have.  This took care of my rational self, but not my emotional self .

For that part I fell back to the time-tested principles of distraction and deflection when possibilities of fear or discomfort offered their presence.

Then, at some point during this pregnancy I was doing some tale-searching and came across The Princess on the Glass Hill, a story I read years ago but had forgotten the details of.  The part that stuck with me was the Cinderlad enduring each increasingly bone-rattling earthquake with a simple observation.

“Well, if it gets no worse than that, I can manage to stand it.”

And in that simple line I “found my peace.”

The line became a mental summary reconciling my emotional state with reality: See, it *hasn’t* been too much; I’m still here.

Therein is the power of story. Truth that couldn’t bang through the frantic defenses of my fears opened the door with a simple key.  And who but God could have orchestrated the finding of just the right story at just the right time?

Every good and perfect gift is from above, and I pray that someday more of those gifts will be more accessible to hurting children, without the stigma hanging over them of what some people incorrectly think fairy tales mean.

People don’t understand fairy tales anymore

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Here is yet another example of “fairy tales” being misunderstood.

From a local non-profit’s brochure:

If life were a fairy tale, no child would be abused.  The cold reality is that many children in Alaska are abused.

…

The team…helps provide the support and intervention the child victim and their family need in order… to have a chance to live happily ever after.

No offense intended to this well-meaning agency, but I don’t think anybody who knows traditional tales could claim that a fairy tale world is a safe place.  I’m always frustrated when I see this misconception perpetuated.

I don’t feel personally hurt so much as I feel these agencies (for example) and disillusioned individuals are closing the door on something that could be useful for the wounded children they are seeking to aid, or even themselves.

If humans are convinced they have to work without the power of Christ, I think they shouldn’t rule out any man-made help.  For all that the words of men will never substitute for the work of Christ, I think we can all agree there are words with greater and lesser usefulness. (If only because we have all encountered the less-effective stuff.)

To constantly mock and degrade the concept of fairy tale neutralizes its potential effectiveness.

Where is the harm in letting a beaten or neglected child see herself in the story of Cinderella?  Yes, there is the out-of-vogue reference to being rescued by a male consort, but viewed in the larger circle of folklore one could learn it is relationship, along with faithfulness and perseverance working as the means of freedom– not just finding the “right” guy or being the sweet milksop.

Aren’t those noble elements what we wish for our wounded self or wounded others?  Aren’t those the healthy elements we delight to see the wounded learn?

Eventually I will finish Bettelheim’s The Uses of Enchantment and learn if he’s got an actually useful suggestion for using traditional tales in therapy (it will take someone less-controversial than him, but more dedicated than me to create something systematically usable and coherent).

Tomorrow I’ll share an example of a fairy tale giving me just what I needed.