Category Archives: Stories

Those I’ve seen/heard

Revealing story?

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I was at a baby shower this morning, and the new little guy is already trying to lift his head. Everyone was exclaiming over this persistent, tiny baby (less-than 6 lbs!), and it made me think of a story from when Abby (my sister’s first-born) was new.

Abby was starting to push up off of my sister’s chest, and my mom and sister were both cooing over how “smart” Abby was. This struck me as odd, and I said, “That’s not smart.”

I was meaning to say it showed her strength, not her genius, but never got the chance. I had roused two mama-bears and had to take my tongue-lashing.

When I told the story, the mother of a friend just laughed and laughed. “That is so Amy!” she said. I asked her later what she meant (one interpretation I got was my knack for unintentionally offending people). She said it was just like me to make that sort of distinction with words, that she never would have thought of it, herself.

Where legends come from

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I’m currently reading a rambling non-fiction “thriller” by a (former?) FBI agent involved in profiling serial criminals. Mindhunter. He points out early on that this (serial offenses) is a relatively recent phenomena, with “Jack the Ripper” in the late 1800s generally acknowledged as the beginning. I had never thought of this before, about crime patterns changing in this way.

Then, almost in opposition to what he’s just said, John Douglas muses that perhaps these types of crimes aren’t as new as we’d like to think, and suggests this may be where the stories of “witches, vampires and werewolves,” come from. Human beings just can’t do these sorts of things to each other, right? And so the peoples of Europe and early America had to explain what could treat humans so viciously.

Interesting theory. It builds on two ideas I buy into: 1) “There is nothing new under the sun.” and 2) Legends usually have at least some basis in reality.

I may do a longer post about it later, but I read once the idea of “changelings” (or the title) was very likely attached to physically and/or mentally handicapped children. I shudder to think how the “cures” would have been applied to such helpless individuals.

[Added 7-11-06]

Here are three links related to the changeling issue (in lieu of my writing more myself):

An Essay by D.L. Ashlimin, who does the Folklore and Mythology Electronic Texts

A poem by John Greenleaf Whittier (1865) that has a different take entirely on changlings

An article that looks to be a defense of Martin Luther (shown negatively in the above documents). As of this writing I haven’t yet read it, but am linking it so I can find it to read when I have the time.

Sweet Moment

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(Originally published on Xanga.)

During snuggle time last night Natasha kissed me, snuggled into my side and said, “Thank you for staying home with me.”

I still wonder if she understood what she was saying.

That was a thank-you about ten years earlier than I’d expected.

~~~

Added 1-24-07:

Jay has taught the girls to thank me for dinner. It is both adorable and gratifying to hear them thank me, especially in front of visitors. I am seeing the fruit of one thought-full, intentional teaching, and it’s rather inspiring for future work.

Have you met…?

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I’ve heard of “wedding crashers” before; yes, even before the movie. I’d never thought to apply the term to anybody who shows up uninvited to a party. The “crashers” part.

I was at a 10th anniversary celebration Friday night at the UAF Botanical Gardens. That’s where this story comes from. Apparently (before I arrived) there was this barefoot guy wandering around the pavilion/gazebo thing, and nobody knew who he was. Bride asked various friends who he was/here with, and nobody knew.

Finally one of them went independently to the young man and asked, “May I introduce you to the bride and groom?”

I love it.

When the 10-years-married bride approached himlater he looked at her a little funny (she was wearing a tiara of small flowers, but her dress was a simple sundress). “Are you the bride?” he asked, hesitantly.

“Yes,” she said, almost as surprised to be addressed that way. “Yes I am.”

“Nobody knew who he was,” she told me later. “I was just going over to introduce myself.”

He left shortly afterwards. I have to wonder if he was full or had been shamed into leaving. And I’ll have to remember that line about “introducing.” Good stuff, that.

Marital Differences

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Currently Watching
House, M.D. – Season One
see related

Jay and I were talking again last night about how were alike, and different.

At the store yesterday, I was on-assignment to buy the first season of “House” with a 20%-off coupon. While I was there I ended up buying an additional 4 movies. There was a display of $7.50 DVDs and I just grabbed two I was interested in, then two I knew Jay would love.

Later I asked Jay if it bothered him I bought something extra (unessential, un-budgeted for) without checking in with him. He pointed out his (much more) expensive purchase a few seasons ago, that he knew I wouldn’t like and he did anyway. (He also liked that I picked out the two for him, so he wasn’t inclined to feel annoyed).

But what we each chose was what led to the discussion. He bought a snow machine helmet (though we don’t own a snow machine), and I bought movies.

He bought something for doing (especially with his brothers/family) and I bought stories.

 

Details

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Now, I know I have a mind for details. Once I input them I usually remember them (I’d like a word stronger than “usually,” but no one can say “always”). So it’s funny/weird to me when I get asked questions I know they know the answer to. Or, at least, I remember previously giving them the information.Last Sunday I saw a woman I haven’t seen since Christmas Eve. She gave me one of those OHMYGOODNESS-looks, and asks, “Did I know you were pregnant?” I assured her, yes, I was showing at Christmas and we’d talked about it.

But maybe it’s not just her with this remembering I’m pregnant thing. Another friend I saw only a couple times a month would exclaim (every time she saw me), “Oh! I forgot you were pregnant!” Now, she had a lot on her plate, and I don’t mean this as any slur on her, but I don’t think I’ve ever forgotten a friend was pregnant (their due dates may come in-and-out of focus, but I don’t forget a baby is coming…) This happened most recently in mid-March, after which she said I was big enough now she felt she would remember.

I was never sure if I was “allowed” to laugh at her… befuddlement? Her tone when she said the words (this happened at least 4 or 5 times) was very-near comical. I suppose she was embarrassed. And I suppose this post could just make it worse…

But I’ll move on to the other pg-related thing that people seem to forget (Other than exact due-date, which is okay to forget, b/c it’s like trying to remember everyone’s birthday– you only do that if you have a thorough calendar. Mine was last Monday, BTW)

This “other” is whether we’re expecting a boy or a girl.

This pregnancy has been unique in that we feel fairly certain it’s a boy. We didn’t know the first two times until the birth. The conversational question everybody asks is, “What are you having?” I like to answer, “A baby.” Then they’ll say, “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” “Well, those are the only options I’m aware of.”

This time I usually say some variation of, “The ultrasound said it’s a boy.” What’s funny to me are the people who ask (or congratulate us) more than once, w/o seeming to remember that we told them months ago (3 or 4 to date). And these are people who asked and were interested in the answer before.

Amazing.

Never having been in any head but my own, I shouldn’t assume everyone else thinks like me, but it is only natural, since I’ve only been in my own head, to assume what comes thoughtlessly to me shouldn’t be too much more strenuous for the rest of the world… But perhaps I’m beginning to learn otherwise…

Connecting and purposeful parenting

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(Originally posted at Xanga.)I have these one-on-one consults I do for teaching FAM, and it is interesting to me how talking about something so personal seems to allow someone to completely open up about other parts of their lives.

I suppose I’m a fairly open person myself, so I didn’t think much about the freeness of others speaking to me until a few weeks ago when I told Jay my client and I had gotten off-topic quite a bit and spent time on parenting ideas.

“You really seem to connect with these ladies that come over,” he observed. And he’s right. I don’t know if it’s me, or the type of woman who comes (maybe a combination of the two), but, while we meet the goals of our time together, we never stay completely on-task.

One who came today commented as she was leaving how “inspiring” I was in the way I interacted with my girls. “That is so neat to see! I so want to be like that. I’m learning to be like that…” I thanked her for her kind words and said having the girls in a cooperative mood made maintaining that image a lot easier than it would be otherwise.

But it was encouraging to hear. Every now-and-then I get a really strong impression that I’m doing something right.

///

Yesterday at MOPS, I got into this conversation about being purposeful in our choices as parents.

It started out being about looking for ideas to purposefully instill a godly foundation in our children. It surprised us how many people (even other moms in our group, from their comments) just “coast” along, without any plan. I can’t say I have any formal plan myself, but I have begun layering things into everyday routines, like the prayers at meal-times, and hymns and bible verses at bed-time, mixed-in with the lullabies and rhymes. I see these things laying a foundation; a vocabulary, if you will, that I pray I’ll have opportunity to draw on later.

The conversation moved into the importance of purposefulness in other areas of parenting: consciously observing your children to understand motivation, planning nap and bed-times so the child gets the sleep he or she needs, knowing your own child well enough to know what punishment is most effective in what circumstances.

We talked about the negative results of letting any of these things “just happen,” that it usually resulted in a need or opportunity being missed, or being less effective as a parent.

Conversations like these are very good for me, because they start me processing ideas and applications, and often bear good fruit. This time, it was encouragement “in due season,” giving me ideas as well as making me thankful for what’s going right so far.

From Anderson’s “The Nightengale”

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I had to type this segment up for another project, and even though it is an incomplete story, it is still neat/thought-provoking, and maybe will remind you of the real-thing.This is an excerpt from Has Christian Anderson’s “The Nightingale” and begins in the emperor’s palace, just before the emperor hears that bird sing for the first time.

Everyone was dressed in their finest clothes and they were all looking at the little gray bird, toward which the emperor nodded very kindly.

The nightingale’s song was so sweet that tears came into the emperor’s eyes; and when they ran down his cheeks, the little nightingale sang even more beautifully than it had before. His song spoke to one’s heart, and the emperor was so pleased that he ordered his golden slipper the be hung around the little bird’s neck. There was no higher honor. But the nightingale thanked him and said that he had been honored enough already.

“I have seen tears in the eyes of an emperor, and that is a great enough treasure for me. There is a strange power in an emperor’s tears and God knows that is reward enough.” Continue reading »

Expectations

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(Originally posted on Xanga)

My husband is amazing. He has always had the type of maturity (I seem to lack) that sees something needing to be done, and does it. But especially lately, as I’ve been getting more and more run-down by this third pregnancy, he’s been stepping up to the plate and batting for both of us.I am so thankful for him. And proud of him too.

My mom thinks pretty highly of him also, and he recently told me about an e-mail she sent him listing all these great qualities she saw in him. He was having a crummy day, and when he read it he felt hugely ambivalent.

Naturally it’s encouraging to have your positive traits noticed and commended (I would think this is especially true if it’s your mother-in-law doing the noticing), but the big “drainer” (to him) was that he suddenly felt he had this standard he had to measure up to. (He seems to frequently react this way if he is complemented while down.) Naturally this is a tough place for me to fall into, b/c it sets me in the spot of trying to build him up without digging him deeper. Touchy job.

But fortunately I had been thinking about a similar situation earlier that day. Or maybe you could call it an idea that relates. If only in my own mind: I’m a good mom. I’m good at what I do.

There. I said it.

Have you ever looked at the over-all picture of your work and said that? I think there’s a lot more people who could than do.

Recently I switched from my OB/GYN doctor back to the midwife/birth clinic where both my girls were born (another story).

The midwife meeting with me asked why we were having this third. Laughing, because I didn’t have a concrete answer for her (“noyb”), I said, “I’m such a good mom I knew I needed another one.”

I immediately felt the blush from my neck to my forehead, but she didn’t seem to notice. “Well of course you are!” she replied sincerely. And I instantly remembered two other people who used the phrase to describe me (and, I think, to encourage me), when I told them I was pregnant with my third.

Now I have to be the first to say I’m not perfect (otherwise someone else will doubtless point that out), but who ever said that good has to be perfect?

This was the concept I shared with my husband that night. No one (least of all my mother) is holding the illusion that he is perfect. There is not going to be some sudden crash of scenery that reveals him as *gasp* human to an unsuspecting public.

And there won’t be for me either…