Category Archives: Personal

About me and/or for my benefit

Pit Bull Defense and Analogy

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I’ve been researching dogs for a few months now, and there was a long stretch there when I was seriously considering a Pit Bull.

Don’t think I’m sick.

The practice of dog fighting was/is sick, of course, and it’s very unfortunate their name ties them so directly to that purpose they were originally bred for. But there are many attractive things about the breed, and I trusted my instinct for finding a good animal.

My 2-cents of positive PR: the whole time these dogs were being bred for dog-aggression (just as beagles were bred for their noses and greyhounds for speed) they were being selected for their ability to be man-handled under the stressful conditions of fighting.

A dog that bit under pressure was a dog whose line (if not his life) did not continue. I found an interesting statistic on the site I linked above:

Unlike the myth propagated by the media however, human aggression is NOT a problem specific to pit bulls. In fact, pit bulls tend to do better than average in temperament tests.

Okay, prove it.

The American Temperament Test Society provides temperament testing around the country for dog breeds, and gives a passing score for the entire breed based on the percentage of passed over failed within total number of the particular breed tested. As of December 2003, the American Pit Bull Terrier has a current passing rate of 83.9%, and the American Staffordshire Terrier passes [two specific breeds lumped under the name “pit-bull”] at 83.2%. In comparison, The Golden Retriever passing rate is 83.2%.

So the “average” pit bull appears to be about as stable as the “average” Golden, who, as everybody knows, is the perfect family dog.

Interesting.

~~~

I came up with an analogy tonight, and that was comparing the general public’s response to the pit bull-type with the general response of a woman, alone after dark, passing an unfamiliar man. (Come to think of it, she probably wouldn’t mind having a pit bull with her under those circumstances…)

Statistically, that man is not dangerous; there is no reason to assume something bad is going to happen now, other than bad things have happened in these circumstances before.

And, really, to protect yourself, you aught to think that way. I just think it puts in some perspective the instant fear-response that goes along with the name Pit Bull.

Ultimately, I passed on the PB for a similar reason I passed on the Whippet, earlier– while it meets many of my criteria, it is not trustworthy off-leash. One of my goals is to train a Frisbee dog, and that’s just not something you can do on-leash.

Quite Enough.

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Okay, I don’t know if this should make me horribly embarrassed, but I have {gulp} –okay, I’ll say it– six different blogs that I have put on-line.

I have this one, which is something of my “play” site, and Family News, a combination memory-book and update-letter to family. They were going to encompass all I needed to blog for.

Then I also have Blogger and Xanga accounts for commenting on those sites.

Next, last week, in a moment of bravery, I took the suggestion of my Acoustic Guitar magazine and created a “musician” MySpace page. (I’ll not link there, seeing as it’s still very embryonic, and I’m feeling less-brave this morning).

Finally, just a couple days ago, I signed up at Homeschool Blogger. (Snow Fairy is my “other” screen name– sort of a nod to my storytelling and home at the same time.) Also limited to commenting, now.

~~~

I’ve decided this is just a very unique season: With Elisha nursing so much I have a lot of “mindless” time to spend reading and doing things on the computer. I do expect I’ll be needing to re-train myself when he is done that this much computer-time is not normal…

My Use for Poetry

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Poetry, the right poetry, is like a cold glass of milk– refreshing and familiar, even if you haven’t had that *exact* one yet.

~~~

Jay and I are both stressed by our current house project, and yesterday he asked me to pick up some more chocolate for him while I was grocery shopping. He’s been though quite a bit already during this project.

I got him a big bag of mini-bars.

~~~

Today, as soon as the boy was down and Jay was reading to the girls, I left the house and returned to our closing bookstore. 25%-off sometimes beats the Amazon prices, and the times it doesn’t, the instant gratification of a fresh book in-hand is worth the extra $2.

I came home with Snow for Natasha’s Birthday, Inkspell, and Poem a Day. This last was the thing I didn’t know I would buy before I went. I was just browsing, enjoying my hour to myself, and came across this title. I didn’t even look at it much before I wanted to bring it home. The experience was very like how I felt on the way home from New Mexico, 3 years ago, when I bought Good Poems in an airport’s bookstore.

When I was showing/explaining the purchases to Jay, I said, “Gift, sequel, *my* chocolate.”

That instant was the first connection I made between our coping mechanisms. “Come to think of it…” I was feeling pretty crummy in that airport too– with a tired 1-year-old, and me being pregnant, tired, and annoyed with somebody– and the book of the hour was one of poems. Continue reading »

What the opposite of speaking before you think?

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I don’t mean the admirable thinking before you speak, I mean thinking faster than you speak.

No, not in that admirable way, either.

While I still speak before I think, sometimes, my main problem of thoughts and speech being out of sync seems to manifest in thinking way faster than I speak, allowing my ideas to get ahead of the coherent transmission of those ideas.

See? I did it again. Maybe.

I’m always asking people if they followed the idea. In this way print is superior to the spoken word: I can re-read what I’ve written and determine if the thoughts followed naturally. The image I use to explain myself (and justify I’m not a red herring pitcher) is that my mind quickly links A-F internally, and I burst by the time I get to “G” because it reminds me of such an interesting story. And I tell that story.

Then feel really silly and half-obligated to race back from B-F to prove I’m not crazy or anything.  That the new conversation angle really was connected.

I consider it the mark of an ideal friendship (and an abiding comfort in my marriage) that a friend will just jump on for the ride, or, better still, know me well enough to make the leap with me.

At least with this type of fault I usually have that “witty” comeback at the right moment. Though I (like everyone else) usually think of a better one at approximately 3 a.m. the next morning.

Personality Testing

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Do you have one? Take the test and find out!

Seriously, I remember joking in high school about “cheating” in personality tests (“Hey! don’t be copying my answers!”).

Barbara at Mommy Life observes:

I know some most of these tests that circulate on blogs are silly and pointless, but this one is definitely the real thing. It is used to help employers and employees understand how people work and relate on the job. And I think it can help us with the job we do, too.

The test is here, and a list of descriptions/explanations is here, along with other essays on your results page.

My results were very interesting, and largely accurate, but I sometimes wonder about these tests how much of this is logic and how much is fortunetelling…

Dog quotes

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This was not researched, and I don’t know most of the people credited with the lines, but I enjoyed them.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
–Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
–Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog
–Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.
— Unknown

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!
— Anne Tyler

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
— Dave Barry

And when I saw these two I thought, hmm, maybe this is it.

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
— Roger Caras

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.
— M. Acklam

The first sounds a little sacrilegious, but dogs make our lives whole the way children do: they add a richness and variety of experience the uninitiated may never understand.

And the later articulates perfectly my point of awe about dogs. At least the ones I consider good dogs. No matter where they fit your life, they’re thankful to fit. They’re happy to be along for the ride and are endlessly positive about the adventure.

I once stopped going to a Mom’s group largely because it was too negative. I am really hooked on positivity.

Why I Want a Dog

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My mom asked me tonight why I want a dog when it’s basically getting another child. That is, even more work than I have now. For a dog.

Part of it I couldn’t articulate, since she’s not a dog-person, but some I could.

As a mom, it’s part of my job to look for and encourage the unique gifts and abilities of each of my children. While I want to guide them in the truth, I don’t choose their gifts or what they do with them.

With a dog, I can pick the type I want and develop the skills that interest me. I can have a companion for my “solitary” endeavors (running, skiing) that prevents me from being isolated in a potentially dangerous situation. I don’t need a “guard dog,” but I also don’t need to be alone.

This latter was grained deeply into me growing up, and while I know women who will run alone, not even my dad would. So I’m definitely not comfortable with it.

If I decide I’m interested in tracking or therapy work, that’s what we do. I choose the animal that will love working toward the same goals, and we go for it. I get to define the goals, rather than just finding them.

It gives me an outlet for my desire to direct without squishing anyone’s individual, inherent direction.

~~~

Those are my definable non-dog-person reasons. Maybe I’ll be able someday to articulate what about dog-ness keeps pulling me back. Lines in the books about “loyalty” and “unconditional love” don’t quite explain it, since I have those things already.

Maybe it’s the god-ness we get a taste of. I’ve heard others suggest that. The chance to be the source and completeness of life, the infallible one worthy of sole adoration. But that can’t quite be it either–

Because I already have a nursing infant.

Motherhood vs. Career?

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Another random-advice article.

The questions in the forum I visit have been nice writing prompts :) I think I like blogging these because they are sort of attitude-landmarks. They articulate how I feel about a particular issue.

The topic here is the question of whether a happily married gal just out of college should have babies (and stay home with them) or a career first.

Those asking the question seem to be stuck between two scares:

  1. Being unmarketable (because they’ve spent X-number of years out of the workforce).
  2. Being unable to have children without medical intervention because they waited too long.

The arguments that I was reacting to included the assertions that the young woman ought to enjoy life before becoming encumbered by children, and that (after working so hard to get her degree) she had a near-moral obligation to do something with it. There was also the question of whether she wanted to risk the happiness of her marriage on children (yet).

~

There are people who will warn you about how a baby will change your relationship, and it will, but it doesn’t have to destroy or even weaken it.

I heard a lot of stories about that while pregnant the first time. They unsettled me, but ended up not applying to us at all.

What helped us, I believe, was Jay’s paternity leave and his heavy involvement while he was home.

We were working actively on the same team and it was a boot-camp bonding experience: both challenging and encouraging to our marriage.

More and more employers (if the women’s mags are right) are seeing the value of the women returning to the work force in their 30s and 40s, and are eager for the “real-life” skills these women bring.

Trust me, you will gain valuable work- and real-world-experience learning to manage a home, live frugally on one income and stimulate/encourage your children in their individual talents.

If you haven’t guessed already I am a SAHM, and it is a full-time job. Not just the always-on-call type of full-time job, but the type I must study for. Reading and researching to stay on top of my game.

It is preparing me for so many future plans that I write them down and squirrel them away. Sometimes I work on them, sometimes I tack a future date on them, but I don’t have to deny them.

And when thinking about age, don’t forget how much (active!) life continues long beyond your fertile years. “Getting your fun in” doesn’t have to happen all in your 20s. Especially if you’ve already found your life-partner.

Just, don’t be afraid of time.

 

God likes me liking what I like

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At least, if his provision for my delight is any indication, He does.

Last week, okay, two weeks ago now, our family was in Anchorage. While there I visited this fabulous new/used bookstore called Title Wave Books. Cool name, yes?

I’ve never been in a bookstore before that shelved new and used side by side, really great for browsing. As might be expected, I limited my purchases to titles that had a used copy, since the cost was less, and, well, there were still loads of neat titles.

My first night there I found (and bought):

The last three (*) have been on my amazon wish list for months, the second (Uses) has been on my story-telling radar, and the folktales book (in addition to being part of a useful series I have two books from already) opened with a very thoughtful essay that included insights about the structural differences between male-centered and female-centered tales that gave me an insight I needed for the novels I’ve been writing.

“I was supposed to buy this book,” I thought to myself over and over again as I read the essay and stories.

“I feel so validated,” I kept telling my husband, cycling from book to book. Kid in a candy store just doesn’t cut it. I would take a bite from one, say “This is so good,” know this was the one I would read while Elisha kept me up tonight, then “taste” the next one. “This is so good,” I’d say again, and experience the delicious pain of this type of indecision.

So many choices and all of them good. (If you can give me the context/title of the work with the opposite quote–So many choices, and all of them bad– I’ll give you great thanks, assuming it’s one I’ve read/seen. The line keeps circling through my head).

I felt validated, as I mentioned earlier, because these were all used books. They none of them had to be there, but God allowed/brought together the circumstances that gave them to me to encourage me. And they did.