I’ve been tossing my first chapter around for feedback (shameless begging for encouragement) as I wrestle further into my “final” read through before sending to my last round of readers and this is one comment I got back:

This chapter is full of tension and intrigue even though the only real action is a woman stumbling around and a man digging a hole.

And I laughed, because I’d never seen it that simply laid out.

Thank you to all my repeat-volunteers to read the manuscript.  I feel honored that you would be willing to plunge back in after your (already thoughtful and thorough) investment.

My High and far off [goal], O Best Beloved, is to have the “finished” product distributed by the second week of July.  Sooner will be a bonus, but I’m trying not to get my hopes up.

When a feud among Djinn spills into the realm of Men, a teen-aged single mother stumbles into the middle of it all and finds more than the happy part of fairy tales can become real.

Jay’s got the kids.  It’s just me and the dog today.

She keeps reminding me she’d like the kids’ attention– rather than the computer getting it.

I feel silly saying that.  But proud too.

My next step is to read-through everything in as few sittings as possible, to check continuity.  One of my birthday presents this year was several gift certificates for “vacation days” from Jay.  I told him tonight I’d like to ring one of those in to try and work the book in one sitting.

After that I’ll be sending the critter to another round of readers (I have two generous people who’ve volunteered to repeat.  Any other takers?), possibly including the “high-stakes” people I avoided last round– those who intimidate me a bit more– just because I need the feedback and they’ve indicated a willingness.

Pre-cleaned version is at 125,180.  And that feels quite spectacular to me.  I expected higher, but am thankful to be this low.

May cut it a bit more before sending it to the readers; that will depend on whether I can scare up one or two more THADs.

If I ever get famous enough I could do a version with the half-dozen+ “cut scenes” included– it definately makes the story more complex.  But as long as the story hangs together (Please God) I will be content with this version.

This is an example of something I pounded out and ended up cutting (before cleaning) because it didn’t quite fit.  Still, there were pieces I liked (especially the ending. I really like “closer” lines).
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Or who have enough interest to offer a theory:

I need a connection between the two opening story lines.  i.e., I need a reason the Lindorm and the digging half-djinn show up about the same time.

I was reviewing my opening material, and felt very foolish that I don’t have a clear connection.  But better late than never, right?  This is what I’ll be puzzling over today and I hope to have an answer by the time I sit down to write more tonight.

So far I’m thinking something along the cheezy lines of big-baddie guesses a human lindorm could be what finally destroys him.  I hate “predestined” story lines.

And yet I’m cool with “meeting destiny on the path you take to avoid it.”

There is a delicious story about a man hearing he would die that same night.  He immediately buys the fastest horse he can afford and gallops till the horse drops and finds an inn to hole-up in.  He’s found dead the next morning.

Death had noticed the man on his list for that night and wondered how that was possible, being so far from the man’s home.  When the man came galloping into town, Death knew the solution.

Go figure…

Anyway, there’s a bit in one of my fave books The Perilous Gard (and honestly, this is what made me aware I’d screwed up and needed to fix something):

Master John (only a minor baddie we later learn) is contemplating the best way to get rid of Kate who knows MJ sold off Christopher to be sacrificed by the pagans.  He’s already fabricated a story of Christopher running away to avoid his brother’s anger.

“How was I to know that you’d fall secretly in love with Christopher Heron and run away with him when he fled the castle?”

“What!” Kate sat bolt upright, her wits scattering again. “B-b-but–” Kate stuttered furiously, “I’m not in love with Christopher Heron. How could I be in love with Christopher Heron? I’ve only talked to him twice in my life!”

…

“You must perceive that I could never tell Sir Geoffry the you had simply died of an illness or disappeared of your own accord.  It would be entirely too strange and remarkable to have the both of you vanishing separately for different reasons at one and the same time…”

Ah, the advantages of really knowing your favorite books (i.e., for me that means listening to them): They continue to instruct even when you’re not with them.

“I put it to you as one reasonable person to another.”

–Master John

On the 24th of May I had 8 scenes to write.

After tonight I have 3 left.  And (if I keep what I started months ago) one of them is half-written already.

“Now do I most grudge a time of rest or halt in our chase.”

(recognize the line?)

Spoken about both the urgency and distance of the goal, and even reaching a stopping spot before midnight it’s the only line in my head.

I am cheered by the steady progress– I feel I’ve been more disciplined in latter days than earlier this year– but at the same time, by increasing the length of the project, I’ve slowed every stage.

~ ~ ~

Out of perhaps nine samples I put out at the beginning of the month I have received back three (though two others have been promised, they’ve not yet materialized) and here I have a significantly different version.

There are some higher-stakes readers I avoided giving the story before, but now I feel desperate enough that I might ask for their help with the next round.  And I’ll still want to re-read it fully in the new form before I can be comfortable passing it to them.

So— on we go.  It is a cheering thing: to see the end grow nearer, even though it is not yet in reach.

But tiring, also: we are still too far out for a final sprint.