For those who’ve read my story:

Or who have enough interest to offer a theory:

I need a connection between the two opening story lines.  i.e., I need a reason the Lindorm and the digging half-djinn show up about the same time.

I was reviewing my opening material, and felt very foolish that I don’t have a clear connection.  But better late than never, right?  This is what I’ll be puzzling over today and I hope to have an answer by the time I sit down to write more tonight.

So far I’m thinking something along the cheezy lines of big-baddie guesses a human lindorm could be what finally destroys him.  I hate “predestined” story lines.

And yet I’m cool with “meeting destiny on the path you take to avoid it.”

There is a delicious story about a man hearing he would die that same night.  He immediately buys the fastest horse he can afford and gallops till the horse drops and finds an inn to hole-up in.  He’s found dead the next morning.

Death had noticed the man on his list for that night and wondered how that was possible, being so far from the man’s home.  When the man came galloping into town, Death knew the solution.

Go figure…

Anyway, there’s a bit in one of my fave books The Perilous Gard (and honestly, this is what made me aware I’d screwed up and needed to fix something):

Master John (only a minor baddie we later learn) is contemplating the best way to get rid of Kate who knows MJ sold off Christopher to be sacrificed by the pagans.  He’s already fabricated a story of Christopher running away to avoid his brother’s anger.

“How was I to know that you’d fall secretly in love with Christopher Heron and run away with him when he fled the castle?”

“What!” Kate sat bolt upright, her wits scattering again. “B-b-but–” Kate stuttered furiously, “I’m not in love with Christopher Heron. How could I be in love with Christopher Heron? I’ve only talked to him twice in my life!”

“You must perceive that I could never tell Sir Geoffry the you had simply died of an illness or disappeared of your own accord.  It would be entirely too strange and remarkable to have the both of you vanishing separately for different reasons at one and the same time…”

Ah, the advantages of really knowing your favorite books (i.e., for me that means listening to them): They continue to instruct even when you’re not with them.

“I put it to you as one reasonable person to another.”

–Master John

7 thoughts on “For those who’ve read my story:

  1. Of course (as is the point) putting it in print sends my mind all over– when I’m supposed to be focusing on the house this morning! Gack!

    The natural fix would be replacing the current prologue with a first chapter that shows Grey-man watching the first confrontation between prince and Lindorm.

    It’d be a chance to see Torb’s cowardice in person, and have Kal-lem-Din say something connecting their concurrent arrival. But it would delay the introduction of the main character and perhaps diminish the significance of Tykone (POV focus of the original opening).

    Okay– back to the work of the day.

  2. Hmm a prophecy about about two half-djinn being the end of Ivan’s father that would be the destiny thing.

    Or maybe overhearing the brother’s conversation, makes Ivan realize there is more going on and he is looking for the knife to see beyond the snake.

    I like the coincidence of the two showing up on the same day.

    If you change the prologue make the coversation vague. Maybe don’t put that the lindorm is asking for a bride. Maybe refer to it as a demand.

  3. Jay’s opinion was that the events could be separately motivated. Just, perhaps, with one event highlighting the other’s significance.

  4. In his listening to the speech of men as he is growing up, the Lindorm learns that the djinn know the secret of undoing the spell cast upon him. Thinking that it would be easier to get the secret from a half djinn than a full djinn, he follows this half djinn on his quest to the north. The half djinn of course wants nothing to do with the Lindorm, but is aware that he is being followed, and thus is secretly keeping tabs on the Lindorm as well. The Lindorm is sighted by the prince who at first challenges him, but under the curse of the Lindorm, is unable to fight him. While trying to catch the half djinn, to attempt to find the cure, the Lindorm also determines that he will try the scattered bits of knowledge that he has gathered elsewhere i.e. that he needs a bride to cure him.

    I leave you to fill in the details. :)

  5. Okay, I think I’ve solved it– and it meshes everyone suggestions (believe me or don’t: you’ll see eventually).

    I wrote a new prologue (don’t know yet if that means I’ll cut the old one or bump it to chapter one) implying how the elder twin comes to be born a lindorm. Naturally it dominoes a series of fine changes (as in, by degrees) but I think it’s for the best.

    Truely, it brings me closer to the structure of the original tale (with starts with the magical conception) so I’m back to standing on the strength of tradition… for what it’s worth.

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