Author Archives: Amy Jane

Storytelling Resources for Kids

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Today I’m participating in the Ultimate Blog Swap. You’ll find me posting over at Oak Bay Drive about Living my Dream.

Dream-life is not what I expected, but then, I didn’t know what to expect.

At the same time, I’m pleased to welcome focused mama-of-three, Erin, from Royal Baloo to Untangling Tales. I’m excited about her visit because Erin is one of those moms who thinks about specific means to reach her parenting and teaching goals. She’s sharing some of those ideas today, specifically related to my heart-mission of storytelling.

Reading aloud to our children is a very important task – something we are told over and over again!  But did you know that storytelling is also a very important skill to learn?  It teaches kids to be creative and spontaneous.  Stories made up on-the-fly can teach kids about the world around them.  And it’s so much fun!

I have 3 boys (5, 3, and 1) and I’ve found that they love being told stories, but they don’t enjoy the process of making up stories nearly as much.  So I try to tell them stories often.  I tell them about my childhood, my dreams, stories from history that I can remember, and their personal favorite, very silly and completely made-up stories.

However, I really want them to participate in the creative part!  I’ve started trying out a few new methods to encourage them.

1.  Story Dice.
I’ve found a nice set on Amazon, but there are plenty of free printable options as well.  Roll the dice and turn the pictures into a story!  I find these kinds of activities particularly fun because I can’t rely on my standard set of characters or locations.  Many of my stories start off with “Once upon a time a little boy ran into the forest” but with the story cubes I am forced to be a bit more creative.

2. Story starters.
Who doesn’t love a good story starter to help them out of a slump, or just any old time?  I always liked the idea of having a story idea worked out and just filling in all the details.

3.  Create new endings to your favorite stories.
I think the is the most fun because it’s kind of like breaking the rules.  Try to get your kids to think of a different ending for one of their favorite books.  What if the main character didn’t apologize, or what if they didn’t get caught?

4.  Silly sentences.
Being as young as they are, my boys love silly things.  Elephants with mice on their heads and people who walk upside down are just hilarious!  So I love to indulge them with silly sentences.  Sometimes we fill in mad-libs, sometimes they shout out words, and sometimes we just deliberately make silly sentences.  Either way, a silly sentence can turn into quite a fun (and silly) made-up story!

Erin is a stay-at-home, homeschooling mother to her three crazy and energetic sons.  In her spare time she loves to create and be crafty, whether it be sewing, knitting, or photography.  She shares her homeschooling adventures and ideas at Royal Baloo.

Visit Life Your Way to see all of the Ultimate Blog Swap participants!

I Am a Writer

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You know, in case you haven’t noticed.

 

Image courtesy of maladie via stock.xchng

Jeff Goins published a book about this recently. Got me thinking about how titles and assertions can affect how we see ourselves, and, therefore, how we behave.

It’s odd how I’m so on again/off again with being willing to say out loud I am a writer, to make that descriptor a part of describing me. Like many things in my life, I find it easier to explain with a story.

You know those characters in musicals who can never say what they mean but can somehow find just the right song?

Well, I can think I say exactly what I mean, but it seems like some people don’t *get it* until it’s connected to a story.  And maybe that’s why I love Story so much.

One of my four most influential novels ends with this wonderful exchange that encapsulates my feeling toward writing. {I suppose this is where I say SPOILER WARNING for those of you who haven’t read The Perilous Gard. And tell you that you should read it.}

It begins with Christopher trying to convince Kate that he wants to marry her.

“Perhaps that wasn’t the most fortunate way of saying it. But I can’t think of the right words.”

“There aren’t any right words. You don’t even love me. You know you don’t. They asked you on All Hallow’s Eve if there was a woman you loved, and you said there wasn’t.”

I’ve never thought of it like that,” said Christopher. “How could I? If you were any other woman, I could tell you I loved you, easily enough, but not you — because you’ve always seemed to me like a part of myself, and it would be like saying I loved my own eyes or my own mind. But have you ever thought of what it would be to have to live without your mind or your eyes, Kate? To be mad? Or Blind?” His voice shook. “I can’t talk about it. That’s the way I feel.”

When it comes down to the question, yes, I’m a writer, yes, I love to write. But it’s like saying I love my blue eyes, or the way I think.

It’s part of who I am, and after that point there doesn’t seem to be a lot more to say.

We’re left with living.

Tykone and Rickard

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Did I mention I met some of my characters in real life?

Here’s Tykone. A smidge older, perhaps, than in the book. And lacking context. He was not a lot taller than me, which was part of what flagged me I’d found Tyko.

Yes, I told him why I wanted his picture. I’m sure that contributed to the bemused face (and this is the second one. I barely had the nerve to ask him to take off his work hat, but this was the look I wanted). How many times do you get someone saying (yes, I was squirming inside) “Can I have your picture? You look just like one of the characters in my novel.”

And I totally guessed this guy’s right-age based on Rickard’s story-age.

The light was bad, but I was just glad to see him and get the nerve again to ask for a picture.

This guy asked (which I actually appreciated) if his character was good. And I (not wanting to lie, but also not wanting him to change his mind) said that Rickard tries to be. That his methods aren’t always the best, but he really does mean well.

Which is completely true.

It would totally be a Fear Factor kind of experiment, but I’ve considered bringing my good camera (and an official card/photo release) to the fair this year.  Once I snapped the second guy (all I had was my old iPhone, and the light was dismal) I kept noticing all the fabulous faces around me.  So much more interesting and deep than the stuff you find in a magazine.

And good-looking, too.  I mean, both these guys are good-looking, but I’ve never seen either of them (or their types) in print so I was thrilled to see them in person.

Maybe my natural enthusiasm/gratitude would make other people feel special?

I hope it could.

The only problem, of course, is that no one sees themselves as a supporting character…

 

Words That Go Down Deep

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I’ve been more and more aware lately of lies I’ve absorbed.

And maybe lies is too strong a word, but for ideas and concepts that have nested deep in me (some over decades) sucking life like unrecognized parasites, I’m not sure I can come up with a strong enough word.

Here’s one example:

There’s a lot going around now about making significance for (of) your life, whether it’s Don Miller’s book about telling your life-story on-purpose, Jon Acuff’s blog (no, not that blog), and now in Jeff Goins‘s just-released ebook (the opening story, no less).

The emphasis is on our deeply felt hunger to matter. To “put a dent in the universe.”

But the problem I find (here comes my sexism) is that these words are being written by men, and therefore (again displaying my assumptions) define success in terms of observable achievement.

Image courtesy of Nicolas Raymond via Freestock.ca

Activity.

Change.

As in widely observable.

  • Published.
  • A Tribe.
  • Influence.

And yeah! I want those things.

But it comes down to the cost.

These men-writers use cost as a challenge (in their sphere, rightly so, I can see where it makes sense). But I see it as a check. A reason to pause.

I discovered this poem last year, and especially with my affinity to Old Tales, I found it a sober warning.

Fairy-tale Logic

By A.E. Stallings

Fairy tales are full of impossible tasks:
Gather the chin hairs of a man-eating goat,
Or cross a sulphuric lake in a leaky boat,
Select the prince from a row of identical masks,
Tiptoe up to a dragon where it basks
And snatch its bone; count dust specks, mote by mote,
Or learn the phone directory by rote.
Always it’s impossible what someone asks—

You have to fight magic with magic. You have to believe
That you have something impossible up your sleeve,
The language of snakes, perhaps, an invisible cloak,
An army of ants at your beck, or a lethal joke,
The will to do whatever must be done:
Marry a monster. Hand over your firstborn son.

I feel a deep gravity– a warning from all the Old Tales– when I hear writers (another is Heather Sellers) emphasize the need to commit fully.

Generally I take these as hyperbole, because I like to think the best of people, and I have to imagine that healthy, aware individuals will be divertable from their single focus if the price becomes too high.

And it is the awareness of how high cost can go that keeps me from using that language.

Nevertheless I find myself (embarrassingly) susceptible to the call.

Make a dent.

Do good.

Be noticed. Continue reading »

Speaking of Swans

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Did you know there are black swans?

I was playing with the idea before I knew it was real, then Google informed me it wasn’t all in my head.

I’ve switched noveling focus, from Lindorm to Shadow Swan (I imagine I’ll get a page up for it, next), while I wait for more of the complex issues of the first novel to settle.

That’s one cool thing about noveling around a busy life: confusing stuff often works itself out with time, so I re-engage with as much a sense of relief (at new discovery) as of guilt (at my neglect).

Shadow Swan is based on the Russian epic poem Tsar Saltan by Alexander Pushkin.

Here we have another multi-part story with loads of traditional folktale elements (the three siblings, with the youngest “winning”; transformations; talking animals; magical gifts; epic “misunderstandings”) and especially the great images. The best stories beg to be illustrated, and make me wish I were a visual artist.

~

I first played with this story (eventually working up to about 14,000 words) in the summer of ’05.  I thought that number fairly impressive (though I stopped working on it) until my first NaNoWriMo in November of ’06, when I galloped past that mark on day 8 or 9.

It really helped my perspective. Until you’ve done more and bigger, there’s no reason for 14,000 to seem small. But now that I’ve cut *thousands* of words from my (still) 100,000-word novel, I have a very different perspective on word-count:

14,000 is worth celebrating, but it’s not enough to tell this story, so it’s not a stopping point.

Anyway, I’d been reading about industry trends in the year before I tried NaNo again, and while fantasy (roughly defined as stories with magical elements) is still very popular (i.e., selling), in the YA market these tend to be stories happening in our world.

That is, “ordinary,” modern children/teens from Earth contend with or participate in magically-influenced adventures (think Harry Potter) more than adventurers or “ordinary folk” take on danger in other worlds and times (think Eragon or Lord of the Rings).

These latter are two very popular examples, and show there are clearly readers out there, but the article I’m referencing was discussing ‘trends.’

Well, I had already written one from the latter category (Lindorm), so I was interested in trying out the other kind.

Now, as a fairly literal Bible-reader (by this I do mean both that I am fairly literal, and that I accept the Bible pretty much as-written) and Christian, I am stuck with that (uniquely?) Christian challenge of writing a story containing magic, when the Bible prohibits sorcery.

One writing/Christian friend of mine says this made her consciously choose Science Fiction as her genre: iNtuitive types like us prefer speculative fiction; she’s not into horror, and didn’t want to deal with the theological questions of magic, so that left SciFi.

Easy peasy.

I dealt with the question at first mostly by ignoring it, then, thankfully, came across thinkers and writers who articulated very well my own (albeit foggy) justifications.

The short version is that I (like Lewis in his Narnia stories) mostly confine magic to a non-Earth realm,  and while it might stretch a little, magic used in unsafe ways is always by negitive (bad guy) characters.

It becomes a metaphor for power in general, and thereby shows my feelings about power more clearly than my feelings about magic: namely that  it isn’t something that healthy, humble people take on themselves, collect for themselves, or use just because they can. And it has the tendency (no matter its origin) to corrupt.

Shadow Swan is about a princess, rescued from another world and brought to our Earth, only to find that rescuing is not the same as restoring, and that danger has followed her.

My original description is here, and sometime soon I expect I’ll create a page for Shadow like I did for Lindorm.

 

7 Quick Takes (Vol. 13): Life is working. Even though it’s Work.

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So, to follow-up after that peaceful, grateful post about Rest, I realized it’s been a long time since I made a list of the stuff I’m engaged in. When it turned out to be seven distinct items, and I realized it was Friday, I knew I needed to jump back to Jen’s 7 Quick Takes Friday this week.

Here’s my “life activity list” the list in roughly the order of time consumed:

~ 1 ~

Managing the food.

It still feels weird to say this takes the most time.

I think this is because– judging by our stories: novels, movies, anecdotes among friends– food is invisible.  It just happens. I wish I lived in that sort of house/body. But I don’t.)

~ 2 ~

Managing the household and extras

Technically this ties back into the food, since food makes dishes.

Basically anything I have to wash clean or put away, along with the animals and outdoor work.

Now that the snow’s melted I am discovering all sorts of new work…

And honestly, it’s a toss-up about whether #1 or #2 takes more time.

~ 3 ~

Teaching the kids.

Reading, writing and arithmetic are the emphasis, but we also read novels along with books of science, history and whatever else strikes our fancy.

As I have more energy I also hope to do more management-training (items from the previous categories).  Currently I do most of that stuff because the *extra* required to get someone else into doing certain jobs is the extra I don’t have.

~ 4 ~

On-line Stuff.

Reading and writing and listening to music on-line (YouTube). Keeping up with some TV shows on Hulu (Castle, Bones, and Body of Proof).

~ 5 ~

Off-Line Stuff

Reading and writing and listening to music not-on-line.

My current goal is to swap these last two categories in terms of time.

I’ve had a surge of progress on my 2010 NaNo novel, and taken on a reading challenge that has forced me to look hard at what and why I read. I hope it will inform what I write.

~ 6 ~

Fiber work

On the edges of my life (and usually away from home).

I have the knitting I do a couple hours every Sunday morning (during the sermon and Sunday school), and the hand-spinning I do when I’m going to be semi-on-display. Continue reading »

Reveling in Rest

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I had a very, um, productive second-half of the week, and a corresponding sense of accomplishment and pride (and relief) in what I’ve completed.

This week I’ve been hauling feed bags, carrying loads of straw, and shoveling chicken poop. I’ve joked with people that I’m getting fit the old-fashioned way– though manual labor. And I have had that tired satisfaction that comes from muscles used correctly without overdoing it.

And I had the weird experience yesterday of getting in bed for a rest and shaking worse after an hour horizontal than I did before I lay down.

I think I get the biological element of that: Most bodies can give more than we expect, especially when there’s a real need. But once those same bodies are taken off *imperative* status, the reality of physical limitations becomes unignorable.

Getting half or two-thirds the amount of sleep my body needs will catch up with me. Using muscles to exhaustion will mean an enforced time of rest before they will be effective again.

And this is so reassuring in my mothering, because I’ve often got this voice in my head insisting, But look what you haven’t done yet! And that voice is not lying or saying anything that is impossible or even that I’m not good enough.

At times it’s even this sweet little, Oops! I’m sure you didn’t mean to forget, since we both know it’s so easy if you’ll just get started…

I had four hours last night without kids. (Mom picked them up after dinner to spend the night.)

I could have (in theory) gotten a lot done on my messy messy house. But I was physically empty. And I knew it.

I could have (in theory) gotten a lot done on a novel, or another writing project. But I was about 8-hours in the hole sleep-wise, so connections and focus just were not coming.

So I rested.

I sat with my sick goat (I think she’s been pining for human contact. She’s gotten better with more attention).

I listened to music.

I looked at my novel, and there was a moment (of deep relief, I must say) when things finally began to click and I was able to give it a solid hour of productive attention.

But all that was after rest. Nothingness in measurable productivity.

~ ~ ~

I’ve decided that my desire to write isn’t just (or even really) an indicator that running a household isn’t “enough” for my “personal fulfillment.”

At this season of my life, it is largely an indicator of fatigue.

I like to work. I love to see things *completed* or progress made. But I have to rotate, to cycle through the different muscle groups. Just like arms or back or legs, focusing on one thing wears it out faster. And using them all means greater endurance (usually) but also demands a fuller rest in the end.

And this awareness gives me a new respect for my need of rest. Rest for more than just my body.

“It’s this simple: you and I have an inescapable need for rest.
The lie the taskmasters want you to swallow is that you cannot rest until your work’s all done, and done better than you’re currently doing it.
But the truth is, the work’s never done, and never done quite right. It’s always more than you can finish and less than you had hoped for.

So what? Get this straight: The rest of God – the rest God gladly gives so that we might discover that part of God we’re missing – is not a reward for finishing. It’s not a bonus for work well done. It’s sheer gift. It is a stop-work order in the midst of work that’s never complete, never polished. Sabbath is not the break we’re allotted at the tail end of completing all our tasks and chores, the fulfillment of all our obligations. It’s the rest we take smack-dab in the middle of them, without apology, without guilt, and for no better reason than God told us we could.”   

-Mark Buchanan, in The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Sabbath (via Laura Ziesal)

So, here I go into the rest of the day, continuing to let many things I could be doing just hang. And I am inexpressibly thankful to even have  tasks that can wait. And I feel joy too, because I am being obedient by resting, which means (and I almost get choked up thinking about this) My rest is worship.

My restoration brings God glory, just as my service does.

Including the Kids

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I read a wide variety of topics, some pretty esoteric stuff.  And it’s tricky sometimes because I want to talk about what I’m processing (and Natasha in particular wants to do grown-up talk) but there’s always the question about how much is appropriate for the kids, and how much they would even understand.

Currently I am reading three books:

  • The Midnight Disease by Alice Flaherty (a book about the way the human brain works related to the various aspects of application and frustration reflected in writing and not-writing)
  • Deep Nutrition by Catherine Shanahan (a book– so far– about epigenetics and how food functions very like programming code being written for the DNA/genes to run.)
  • You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth (a book with a very ‘girlfriend’ tone that urges the reader to look very closely at herself and at life in the light of scripture).

Can I just say right here how much I love synergy?

I might (I doubt it) have finished one of these books already if it was the only one I was working on, but then I would have missed all sorts of interconnected gems.

Tonight I used something from the Midnight book with Natasha.

There are times she gets really *tight* about something and she can’t let it go. Just tonight for example.

“It’s happening again Mommy!” (I can guess she’s a bit regressed when I hear Mommy. My least-favorite title.)
“What’s happening?”
“I’m scared KNIDS are going to come and eat Elisha!”

And I have to try not to roll my eyes if the lights are on.

I really wonder if this started out as a game, or sleep-delay tactic, but whatever the origin these fears are now full-on terrifying to her, and just plain irritate me.

As anyone with fearful children will tell you, reassurances and discussions (or lectures) of reality are no use in these situations.

So I did an extemporaneous mini-lecture about perseveration.

I explained how a person whose brain has been damaged in a particular way will perceive something accurately, but then see only that. You show him a fork, ask him to name it, and he’ll say fork.

But then you show him a spoon, a knife, a toy truck, and each of those will also be called a fork.

The way to break this cycle is to draw his attention away from the idea for a moment:

A loud noise outside, or a family member walking into the room, will let the fork leave the center of his focus long enough for him to correctly name the new object.

Stapler.

But this merely shifts the problem, as everything now is identified as a stapler.

The point is, I told Natasha, You can use the same idea to shift your thoughts. If you let them go.

*Too* many times, she has come out to us in the living room sweating with anxiety. I’m convinced she rehearses the fear all her steps out to where we are, so whatever it is is only amplified, not relieved, by travel.

“Imagine your thoughts are a bouncy ball,” I suggested. “Right now, your ball is on the purple elephants step [She laughs]. If you want to quit thinking about purple elephants, you should try a shift of some kind. Go get a drink. Use the bathroom. Climbing down the ladder will give your brain a chance to bump the ball off the purple elephants step. AS LONG AS you don’t keep it there.”

I made a cage with the fingers of one hand over the palm of my other hand.

“If you don’t let it move, it won’t. Give it a chance.”

All these words were delivered with my end-of-the-day, how-much-of-this-is-useful-and-how-much-is-just-delay-? pseudo-conviction.

Jay took the kid-calls that came in the next half-hour, till Natasha bright-eyed and grinning tumbled into the living room.

“It worked! See, I was smoothing my hair, then thought, I bet I could make a pony tail–“

“This is a morning-story,” I interrupted. “You belong in bed.”

She backed away, grinning. “And it worked, Mama,” she finished. “Your idea of getting down worked!”

And she took herself back off to bed, tear-free.

Fear-free.

Getting Personally Practical

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Sometimes I think the reason I continually return to the idea of Storytelling is because I am looking for ways to  tie my story-compulsive brain back to my real life as the dedicated mother of three brilliant, sensitive children who need me to be connected to them.

So, with this in mind, yesterday I engaged my imagination as if my real life were a novel.

That is, I threw back to my earliest memories (sorry-in-advance to the loving adults in my world; this is not a reflection on you) and looked for concrete things that made me feel less, to feel insecure.

This was genuinely not a pity party. I was looking for specific ways I might be missing to affirm and encourage my kids. I think it could be a useful tool for any parent, I just applied it first in my writing, because that’s where it came naturally.

We had just had a tragedy that resulted in Melody *certain* she needed a band-aid, and as I did not share her certainty, I delayed my verdict to finish my task.

As I wrapped up, I had this memory of feeling completely useless.  Unnecessary.

All my life– including now– I have been surrounded by amazingly competent people.  And all my life– including now– I’ve had a painfully accurate awareness of how small my contribution is in ratio to the needs around me.

*Unnecessary* is a terrible thing for any child to feel.

I was on to the next project before I remembered I’d gone soft and decided to get a band-aid.  So, stopping when Melody walked by (and secretly hoping she’d noticed the interruption so I’d get Attentiveness points) I invited her back to the First-Aid basket where we bandaged her wound.

Continue reading »

Beginning Storytelling Part 1: Pick your story

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The important part in story-choosing is to read long enough to know the difference between the story that grabs you, some people say it begs to be told, and the story that repulses you.

There should, of course, be many stories in between these extremes, but once you’ve had both experiences, you will better be able to set what you read on the spectrum.

Loads of stories aren’t stop-your-heart or change-your-life amazing, and that’s okay too.

You might compare stories to homemade dinners: one day you manage to recreate the best meal you’ve ever eaten in a restaurant. It’s just as good as you remember, and everyone loves it.

But everyone loves meatloaf, too; and pizza, and grilled-cheese sandwiches.

(Actually, I’ve never really liked grilled cheese sandwiches, but my kids do, and they’re easy to make, so I do.)

Sometimes you pick a story for someone else, like I give my kids grilled cheese, and as long as it’s a gift of love, that’s fine too.

The main thing to look out for in such situations is that you still invest in making the story as good as it can be.

What you can’t get out of, get into wholeheartedly.
Mignon McLaughlin

Continue reading »