Untangling Tales

Another brain-dump thanks to Jenn’s lovely idea at Conversion Diary.

Enough on my mind I did two this week (another one at Family News)

~ ~ 1 ~ ~

The novel.  I am closer and closer.  It’s constantly on my mind– almost like nesting.  Which I hate, in theory.

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

Someday I want to write down what I’ve been describing as the “math” of the story.  This is composed of several elements, but math just seems like the best word so far:

• The way each event after the inciting event needs to be precipitated by something that came before (nothing is random in a well-done story)
• The weaving of view points, physical (story) location, and story lines to maintain or increase tension
• The awareness of time and space as part of the storylogic.

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

Love it and can’t use it–So onto the blog it goes.

This moment takes place before the scene (in the final version) actually starts– so it won’t appear in the novel.

Kennett felt the blood stop flowing to his hand as they saw a silhouette rise between them and the fire. Torbjorn had clasped his arm, for the figure approaching was obviously female. And unaccompanied.

It’s the moment the brothers have been hunkered down and waiting for– thinking they’ll collect more information about the kidnapped wife, and now it appears she herself is being sent toward their hiding place.

It doesn’t really work as a scene any more, because it was written in the traditional light/darkness cycle farther from the arctic circle, and I’m telling you no one is walking about in the dark of June.  Especially since the closest you find is going to be between 1 and 3 a.m.

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

I have a bunch of cassettes I’ve been picking up from thrift stores and I’m working at “digitizing” them now– recording them onto the computer so that I can snip them into individual songs and have (legal) digital copies to mix and make playlists on my iPod.

Cassettes are 50-cents, so buying one for a single song is much better than a $4 CD (For that I’ll buy by the song alone) and *fabulous* when I like multiple songs.

(I’ve mentioned before I create playlists that capture a character’s personality throughout its evolution.  Usually on YouTube, because it’s free, but lately– especially as the songs most important to me have become unavailable– I’ve begun buying them.)

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

Picked up the 10th Anniversary “special edition” Pride and Predudice BBC production + how-we-did-it book for $5.50 Tuesday.  Watched my favorite scenes from the 2005 version to compare styles.

There’s a point when Darcy comes to visit Elizabeth and makes a comment about some women liking to be farther away from home/their mothers once they’re married.

“You for example, wouldn’t mind being so far from [home].”

And I couldn’t tell if it were a question or an observation, but I whooped, calling Jay over to listen to the line.

Before we were engaged (sometime in April, I believe) Jay asked me if I thought I could be happy anywhere but Fairbanks.  I went to my mom that same night and told her (in high anxiety) I expected a proposal soon. (“Are you sure you’re not just borrowing trouble?” she asked, and I told her his question.)

~

The funny part is that Jay was trying to feel me out for a proposal, but thought he was being so subtle and clever, trying to go under my radar.

Anyway, because of that event there was no subtle or casual way for me to read that observation of Darcy’s.

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

Trying to determine the level of PDA for my novel has been an interesting exercise.

Back when I was firmly resisting any idea of “seriousness” in my relationship with Jay, I always wondered if my parents cuddled more right before my visits with him in order to make me more wistful and willing to be snugly myself.

Because if that was their goal it worked.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

Came across a new way of writing a teaser, and based on that (“First 25-pages”) model, this is what mine looks like (Sorry Becky for sending it to you already– I forgot I had 7QTF to set this out for.)

For my almost-finished (again) work, The Sarsé’s Lindorm:

When Linnea faces the grey-skinned man unearthing her father’s coffin, she has no idea it is about a knife. When Tykone uses that knife to attack a dragon-like snake, the lindorm, he has no idea he’s wounding a missing prince. And the perfect Prince Torbjorn, who believes he is to inherit the throne, has no idea when he dutifully goes off to wed his arranged bride that she might have to train Linnea to be queen in her place. The grey-skinned stranger guesses, only he has come North to leave behind the world of magic in the hot lands.

But evil magic has followed him—and under the unsetting sun of summer it will seek new entertainment. And revenge.

Naturally the reason I give it is for suggestions/feedback, so feel free to share your wisdom (or opinions, if that’s all you have to offer ).

I really hate the word “revenge”.  I know it is a real and frequent motivator, but any time a read a description like the one I just gave you, I roll my eyes (feel free to tell me you didn’t).

Blessings on your day!

For more 7 Quick Takes visit Jen’s Conversion Diary

Other 7 Quick Takes on Untangling Tales

~ ~ 1 ~ ~

Last time I “taked” I felt wobbly about specializing.

This week  I embraced the gift it is.

All my life I’ve felt pulled between all the things I love and all the things I do well, and it was only recently I released most of them to consciously focus on writing as my first (extra-curricular) priority.

On Tuesday I lived a day that reminded me of the turmoil I used to live in my trying to do everything.  It was energizing and exciting… and nothing got done in my home.  My children played more with other people than with me.  Okay for a day, but I wouldn’t want to live this way.

~

I am so thankful for the opportunity God provided to let the other things go.

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

Fertility in fiction.  You ever wonder why there isn’t any?

I played with the idea of a closer-to-natural fertility in my novel.

That is, I sat down with my time line and two major families then calculated how many children they ought to have with normal health in a pre-birth-control era.  This quickly became overwhelming by sheer numbers and I turned evil-god and gave one family a bad marriage and the other miscarriages.

They still ended up with 5 and 7 births, respectively, but it was good practice in understanding why so many stories center around 1- and 2- children families.  I no longer am certain those choices strictly reflect a lower view of large families.  Rather, I see it as an example of something most novelists wrestle with–simplicity enough not to drown.

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

Does anybody here remember Colby? This is the sort of music I grew up on.

At my mom’s yesterday I played the record for my kids.  The “computer” elements have not aged well, but the music and the clear communication of foundational messages is still *solid*.  The music caught my emotional memory in ways I never expected, and reminded me of how much I wished I could play piano– I can’t think of another way one person can teach two-part harmony.

The sweet two-part harmonies are the exact thing I want to teach my kids and their Sunday school class.  If you ever hear of this being re-issued on CD, let me know.  I have some scruples about giving away copies of recordings, so I haven’t done that, but I wish I could get “Make a joyful noise” into every home in our little church.

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

Tonight I’ll be going to a “ladies’ retreat.”  I’ll be overnight away from home, sans kids, husband and novel.

*What* am I going to do with myself???

Is it too much to hope that I’ll get good sleep?

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

I’m considering joining Weight Watchers.  I have several friends who’ve spoken well of it and the structure it provides.

My resistance comes from the cost and the reality that I– in theory at least– already know what to do, so paying someone to *watch* me do it seems weird.  It makes me think of what my mom says about those who have that gastric-bypass surgery: “If they can change the way they eat afterward, why not before?” (I’ve been told reasons, but they’re pretty gross)

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

I haven’t been reading much since I started this last revision, but on one level I see this as a basic defense.  For me, reading (beyond the recreation and enjoyment of it) is to gather input and ideas for my own work.  At this exact moment I am not in a conscious idea-gathering stage and don’t want to be distracted from the “basic clean-up” I’m working on completing.

Honestly, if there is some huge structural flaw, or major twist or revision that needs to be worked in, I am not in a mental/emotional state to apply it, so I’d rather not increase my awareness just now.  I’ll re-engage after I send this out.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

I have a stack of “animal-transformation” novels I’m working my way through (in the not-this-minute sense).  Also found an interesting book  called The Beast and the Blond with a chapter about animal transformations and the difference between males and females with the affliction.

All sorts of assumptions and discussions about the differences between male and female troubles and attitudes.

Fascinating stuff this.  To me.

For more 7 Quick Takes visit Jen’s Conversion Diary

Other 7 Quick Takes on Untangling Tales

~ ~ 1 ~ ~

I’ve specialized.

It is a recent realization, and just now that feels a great deal like saying I’ve “settled.”

I’m beginning to understand that 50-, or 70- or 80- year old who says they still feel like they’re 20 (or 40).  I feel like I know things.  And on some level I always will.  But I’ve got to realize I’ve gotten beyond being equally wonderful at everything I do.

On one level that should be a good thing– because it illustrates that I have committed to and developed something, that I’m no longer a “jack (Jane) of all trades master of none.”

I see I have a distinct edge in writing over all these other areas, and the (should be) obvious result means I need to expect not to be as good everywhere as I am in my best subject.

But I still feel like that 50-something guy who, from his 45-degree angle of pain, was advising my 30-something husband: “Once you hit 50– don’t try to keep doing it all.”

And I keep thinking, I ought to be able to do all this.

Sorry, Mike, if you’re reading this.  That low-ceilinged room with its mediocre florescent lighting *really* sapped my confidence when it comes to being a good photographer.  I can’t help thinking if I did pictures like I do writing I would have figured out some solution.

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

Finished an absolutely perfect-for-now book this week: The Healer’s Keep.  The reasons I liked it are listed on my reading page.  (If you’re not following the progress of my novel those specific details probably won’t interest you.

I’ll take no offense .

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

We are looking at a record-breaking snowfall in the last 24/36 hours.

I know 9-inches isn’t much compared to what has been happening elsewhere, but Fairbanks is essentially a semi-desert in terms of precipitation, so this is unique for here.

And maybe it counts as unique that there’s no such thing as a “snow day”  here; no days off of school or work because of the snow, even today.   (Though we have had ice days in the past.)

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

I got to hold a little baby last Sunday.

I wondered if I’d get “baby fever” or feel sated in some way, but neither happened.  I got to enjoy a little person, give Mama’s arms a break and was ready to return him when Daddy came to collect.

I was surprised to think it was the first baby I’ve held for long since Elisha was born, and this sort of makes sense; I would have been holding (or resting from holding) him up till now.

~ ~ 5~ ~

My novel wants to grow again, but I’m trying to be very selective about how much I allow.

I told Jay I was uncomfortable with 87,200 jumping so quickly to 96,000 and he blandly observed that “It’s gotten long enough to be a real novel now.”

~

My background in journalism makes me inherently mistrustful of increasing word-counts.  So this has been an. . . interesting process

I cut more than 1,000 words last night, and felt relieved to do so.  It was growing too fast with all the storylines getting added back in.

That said, I’ve just remembered another section that will (in some form) get added back in.  A useful “misunderstanding” scene (in the RomCom tradition), that is resolved before the end of the scene but creates more problems even as it’ s resolved.

Worth keeping according to my math.

It’s funny, too (at least to me), and I should snatch up anything I can in that department.

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

My home has been maintained in remarkably good order for more than a week now, but I felt very tired yesterday and almost couldn’t do the upkeep.  My own desk area is totally trashed– books and papers piled everywhere– and I’m finding that very draining.

I like having books to hand (there’s a whole shelf six inches from my left elbow), and looking at a cover while I type about the book is only natural, but I have always derived a sense of calm from open spaces and my perfect nook begins to feel too small in this state.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

This week I’ve talked with the kids about definitions.

• Like the term help, as in, “Can I help, Mommy?”

We have completely different understandings of that word.

To them it means, What you’re doing looks like more fun than what I’m doing.  I want to do it too.

To me it means I expect to get something useful out of your action (Even if it’s simply a teaching opportunity).

~

So when they say “I want to help,” and I say, “Great, you can do X,” they might fall apart with, “But I want to do Y!“

If it’s not time for Y, or Y is distinctly too complex for the askers, they’re not willing to hear it; and I won’t budge for whining.

• All their lives I’ve used the phrase Low voice to convey what I want from them audibly.

That is, I don’t just want an “indoor voice,” I want to train them to speak also with a lower pitch.  Well, somewhere along the line our expectations have missed each other, and they’ve stopped hearing the bit about pitch.

And when I’d say quiet, they’d translate that as quiet*er*.  The whole thing was making me nuts, really.

I’m not on the phone much, so when I am, I expect the kids to let me talk and save their non-blood issues till I’m off.  I’ll say quiet, and while they’ll stop shouting at me, they’ll not quit talking.

So finally, today I lined them up, made them keep all eyes on me and I catechized them on the difference between Low voice and Quiet.

Haven’t had opportunity to test it yet (like I said, I’m not on the phone much) but I expect we’ll review today– along with pitch.

It is a bit embarrassing to be constantly reminded that, well, constant reminders are useful.

One theory I have on this is that every time something is repeated or reinforced, it’s digging that synaptic path a bit deeper into its groove, making more and more likely to stick.  I hear (read) this is what happens when a kid is learning to walk: they do the same thing over and over and over until the brain takes over and just does all the complex work so well  the walker no longer remembers how complex the process of upright movement really is.

~

I am really looking forward to the times when certain elements of behavior are blessedly thoughtless.

For me and the children.

For more 7 Quick Takes visit Jen’s Conversion Diary

Other 7 Quick Takes on Untangling Tales

~ ~ 1 ~ ~

On Wednesday I was up early and knew I was close to finishing my story.  I felt as restless as a cat looking for a place to have her kittens.  I was agitated at not being able to finish what was so close, and ended up cleaning the whole house.

As in: the whole. house.

• Both bathrooms
• all the floors
• playroom
• bedrooms
• laundry washed
• 3 dishwashers run and emptied

I had called and griped to Jay earlier in the day: frustrated at having to wait, and very close to nagging at him to give me more time.  When he came home he was more than impressed.

He took the kids the rest of the evening and it was that night I reached my ending.

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

With a clean house I am a better mom.

Yesterday I let the kids paint until their projects filled the whole table with their drying.  Today I could say yes when they asked to use playdough.

When the house is cluttered (and stuff is dried on the table) I never let them use all the cool stuff I’ve collected for them to use.   So this has been fun.

I read aloud more when the house is clean, too.  I’ve just, well, like I said, been a better mom.

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

Jay and I give the children our one-sided pages for their artwork.  Yesterday on the back of their painting I found a page of my original-original novel (as in, I couldn’t find the passage until I went back to my roughest draft) that addresses an issue I’m working out now.

Namely, how to make the Hero more interesting than his foil.

It also brings in a secondary character who (I’d made a note about) needed to be introduced earlier for better context.  I read the back of the paper with great interest, making mental notes about where it belonged and what to change.

When I came back out of my office/bedroom I saw Natasha turn over the painting and read the page.  I started loading the dishwasher and she looked up, startled.  “Is this from one of your stories?” she asked.

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

I’ve fallen off the wagon.

That is, I’m buying books again.

It started innocently enough, as it did last year: buying for the children’s schooling.  Then finding several $2 books that I really wanted for my reference shelf (analyzing folk and fairy tales) then picking up the used books that fit my collection, just because they were available and would cost twice as much new.

Once I’d gotten that far I just shrugged and figured I’d blown it.  So I’m back to normal.

And normal’s okay for me.  I guess that’s what makes it normal.

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

Having just returned a couple weeks ago from my uncle’s memorial service, I am thrown for another loop by the news of another man in his early 50s who died just last night.  One of the deacons in our little church.

We got a call as the hospital was doing CPR, and I was shaken by the horrid feeling that I was entering that new life-stage I had only vaguely been aware of 5 years ago, where you start watching friends die.

I remember being delighted with the awareness that I was so much in the “adult” group now that I was making friends with other adults– some old enough to be my parents.  Sure I’d been friendly with adults my whole life, but it was like they always knew they were doing me a favor (or that I was doing them one) because we weren’t of the same clan.

And now the down-side.  I get to outlive people I love.

Really stinks.

Then I have to wonder what it was like for my Grandpa living longer than many of his friends or, like I’m reading about just now in Numbers, the Israelites loosing a whole generation (a good million people I’ve heard it estimated) in 40 years, and that would be around 68 deaths a day.

So I get a little perspective (“Everybody dies,” my girls chirrup every time we watch Enchanted), and I’m not nearly as morose.  But I’m still sad, and I think that’s okay.

Paul said we need to know the truth about those who die, “so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.”  But I take that to mean not that we won’t grieve, but that we will grieve with hope.

We grieve for ourselves, and our loss– and while realizing that makes me feel incredibly selfish, it’s not really going to change my behavior much, other than I’m trying to shift my feelings to think more of the family and their loss: recognizing whatever I feel is nothing compared to them.

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

When my dad’s dad died I was 14.  The thing I remember most is watching my parents from the back seat– my mom’s hand on my dad’s leg as we drove the unfamiliar town my where my Papa had lived.  And the words my mom used to describe that time.

I don’t know when I actually heard them, but they’ve defined my feelings so many times:

You see that pain someone is feeling, and you start to put yourself there, wanting to share their loss, or understand what they’re feeling– but it’s too much.  It’s too painful, and you have to pull back.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

I’ve been comparing European fairy tales and Greek myths this week (looking at episodes from The Storyteller series is what prompted this chain of thought).

And have you noticed none of the Greek myths really end well?  Really.  I can’t think of one that ends well (feel free to correct me).

I began thinking that this could have something to do with Christ.

The Greek stories all pre-date him, and center on a time when the best men could hope for or imagine was more powerful versions of themselves.  Humans felt knocked about by the world and never knew where or how they would land.  Human folly irreparably destroying lives.

The fairy tales, by contrast, have just as much folly and trial and tears, but rooted in a world where the Church had gained great influence there is always the founded hope that the end will come ’round right.

This relief of “happily ever after” (or at least, an ending moment of peace– which is more common if you actually run the numbers) is what ties me so tightly to the Tales I love.

To me it is a reflection of the hope and promise of heaven: that after enduring all trials, through obedience and because of a power beyond ourselves, we have the assurance that will never again be alone or in need.

It is a hope big enough to carry us through every pain and loss.

For more 7 Quick Takes visit Jen’s Conversion Diary

Other 7 Quick Takes on Untangling Tales

Unlike many Alaskans I equate “wintertime” with “indoor time.”  So with that as a theme here’s a look at my extreme indoor week (season).  Figuring largely is the classic case of knowing what you ought to do, if not necessarily how.

~ ~ 1. Meals ~ ~

We’ve gone through 3 gallons of milk this week.  Jay told me that is normal, but this is the first time in recent memory it’s been three fresh gallons.  I hadn’t really noticed if this was our rate before.

I’ve been trying to use stuff off our shelves– canned, dried and frozen stuff– so meal-planning has taken longer.  I’ve twice this week fallen back to “stand-bys” like sandwiches and frozen foods.  Since these don’t have left-overs I used our huge supply of beans to make a chili for Jay’s lunches.

The bonus with this system is that I don’t have to eat beans– or make my kids eat something I’m not interested in eating myself.  Definitely going to remember this.

~ ~ 2. Dog ~ ~

With a high-energy dog like my Lab, being stuck indoors can be a little tense.  I was thankful to see that she’s not the type to beg for walks at -40°, but even without wanting to be outside her spring is still tightly wound.

She’s been gaining weight for about a month and a half now (short-hand for “no-exercise”) and while she’s done well up till now I feel she might be reaching her limit.

Fortunately I just got re-motivated to focus on her training, and I’m told that should help.

~ ~ 3. Children ~ ~

The kids are actually easier to keep entertained than the dog, especially when you add movies to the mix.  Jay has a T.V. tuner in his computer and a series of programs he combines to record certain Saturday morning cartoons and remove the comercials.

The delightful result is a collection of sweet and fun options without the discontent- and consumer-training interruptions.  Other activities:

• Games
  • Risk– I can’t stand it, but Jay plays with Natasha– essentially by playing himself but letter her move the pieces.  She feels so grown-up and is *thrilled* when she wins.
  • Rummikub is one I like better.  Practices pre-math skills like grouping, matching and sequencing.  Not that I thought of that before we started.  It’s just the game that has the best memories for me.
• Running.  Yes, seriously.
  • I think every house with kids should have a kitchen island.  Before nap-time a couple days ago we put on some “wild” music (some high-energy stuff from Riverdance) and chased each other around for a chunk of time before storytime.  Totally confused the dog, but the children and I found it head-clearing.

~ ~ 4. Exercise ~ ~

The running is some of the only activity I’ve done in the last week.  Despite all my options… (here comes the YBH: yes but how) finding other elements of my day more important and engaging just crowds this out.

I find once I start I enjoy all sorts of things that work well in my living room:

• Pilaties
• Free weights
• Running (with the kids– as I already mentioned)
• Indoor walking (silly concept, but okay for what it is)

~ ~ 5. Housekeeping ~ ~

Being confined to house makes maintaining the home a higher priority.  We’ve been working at this since Christmas and I’ve been relieved at how we’ve been doing.

Having a solid half of our clothes outdoors has helped with this, along with the rearranging that gave the kids an area to play, and (more important) a place for everything to go.

Vacuuming is remarkably easier with floors kept clear… but yesterday I began bringing in bags of things and putting them away.  Having the drawers full again makes me realize how *much* we have, and what we were able to (almost comfortably) live without.

If things get harder to keep up with we might have to think about thining back again.

~ ~ 6. Writing ~ ~

Writing has simply got to be the easiest hobby for mothers, and I’m so glad to have it.

• There’s no clean-up
• You can work on it while you do pretty much anything else
• It can be both a means of escape and remembrence– two contradictery things I appreciate as a mother
• You’re already used to sleeping less because of your true children, so staying up for a beloved project seems only natural

~ ~ 7. Other fun indoor things we’ve done ~ ~

• Music (both to make and to listen to)
• Playdough
• Baking
• ***Reading***
  • We want to see if we can work through every children’s book in the house before the end of winter.  At least, that’s how I pitched it.  My ulterier motive is to provoke new favorites so I’m not reading the same dozen all the time.
• Crafts
  • stamping
  • card-making
  • anything with scissors paint or glue (though these I seriously limit)
• Including the kids in dog-training (a whole new dynamic, there)

More 7 Quick Takes At Jen’s blog.

7 Quick Takes on Untangling Tales

~ ~ 1 ~ ~

Looks like it’s going to be another chilly entry into the new year: -30° and colder since two days after Christmas, and a bunch of highs near -40° through at least next Monday.

Anybody whose been complaining about your winter weather can be reminded now: It could be worse.

I’ve lived here most of my life, am very content indoors and we rarely have much wind on these cold days– So “it could be worse” even for me.

For example, this could (and has!) happen(ed) during a week when Jay had to drive to work each morning.  Thankfully he has this week off and we can hibernate if we so choose.

And the best part is a week of this and I’ll have no qualms about bringing in all the bedbuggy stuff still outside.  (Jay says he does, though, so I’m not sure what will happen.)

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

My “big” resolution, or goal, or… whatever you want to call it:

Nothing new this year.  Not even books– used or new.

This means not starting any new projects in 2009.

By contrast, in 2008, with an already-full life, I

• got seriously into buying used books
• made a series of costumes
  
• started 6 quilts at once,
• Got a dog
• began homeschooling (at least, part-time) and
• more serious guitar study (these last two did have more legitimacy in my mind).

The natural result of “nothing new” is no recreational buying.  No buying “on spec” (my gift shelf is well-stocked, my kids’ grow-into boxes ready, my homeschool books boxed and waiting.), and maybe even no buying without a list.

That last detail’s going to take more thought.

It means finishing the projects and books I’ve started (and bought to start), and training my mind to think first of what I have– even before the Library or other borrowing– because this isn’t first about saving money.  It’s about re-training my thinking.   The purpose of the exercise is to shift my thinking from “outward” and “exploring” to being more home- and contentment-centered.  Satisfied.

I have told myself I can buy books this year once/if I finish what I’ve already bought, but considering I’ve glutted myself a bit in the last two weeks, leading up to this challenge, that is even less likely to happen than is was last year when I tried the first time.

It is sobering to re-read that post and know my goal is exactly the same a year later.  But I also know that I made choices that led to discarding the effort, so (Lord willing) I’ll make a more purposed attempt this time around.

The first thing is to not go into a bookstore– because I *will* find something I’d like to buy (Yesterday I made sure to empty my B&N gift card and buy the one book left to complete the last of 2008′s series’ collecting).  The rest I guess I’ll figure out as I go along.

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

I just introduced the idea of “chore charts” to the kids yesterday, and made one for myself as well.

Since I felt it would be either overwhelming or depressing to actually list everything I must do, I just made a 3-point chart for me:

• Read Bible
• Exercise
• Brush dog

I like having such a short list to look at; especially since I sometimes make serious to-do lists on the side.  My three little stickers at the end of the day feel so fulfilling I have no questions about why this works for children.

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

Starting the book Opening Your Child’s Spiritual Windows tonight raised a lot of questions in my mind.  Most about the nature of my relationship with my children.

Slantwise about the legitimacy of my writing and my desire to read so much YA fiction this year.  I (mentally) compared Fire Arrow with OYCSW and can see the value so much clearer in the second.

But unless I feel the call to write being withdrawn (which I haven’t) I have to assume they both are important.  Not because I expect FA to change my life (as OYCSW might) but because I need to be faithful to develop the skills God has called me to build.

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

I forget now where, but recently I read someone who insisted the way you become a better writer is 50% by writing and 50%  by reading.

Thinking on the implications of this I determined to keep it “before my eyes” (hence my massive reading goals).  I want to keep this in mind, because if I let my approach to the craft slip too much into writing alone (however important I know that practice to be) I fear I’ll fall into an underlying arrogance; that I might imagine I can improve simply from within, without external input.

And that goes against everything I say I believe.

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

My reading list– all books (though not all the books) that I have waiting on my shelves– is in my new right-hand column.

I have a new page listing what I’ve finished, what I’m reading, and a few thoughts on each as I go along

No reviews here, and no spoiler-warnings either: just the notes I want to keep for myself, and they won’t be spoilers for me.  Consider yourself duly (dully?) warned.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

I *love* my new blog template.  It’s set up with all the changeable options (fonts, colors, widths) in an actual menu, so I don’t have to go digging though the style sheet to find them.

Anyone who’s tried to wiggle their own template details will understand when I say:

Absolute *delight* to work with.

More 7 Quick Takes at Jen’s place.

Again, from Jen’s idea.

~ ~ 1 ~ ~

Jay’s talking about wanting a pellet-burning stove.  I’m asking where it will go.

I’m asking for a double bed with drawers.  It will take up less room (in our little room) than the queen-sized bed (we never use all that space anyway), and let us get rid of at least one dresser.

Both changes will make more room for book cases   Eventually.

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

The cast list was sent out last week, and my name was by “doting mother,” which comes just before a list of “my” seven children (a boy, three girls and my own three kids).  This might have seemed really cool, except just a couple days before Jay had fielded a call while I was out, inviting me to play “the matron.”

Leaving aside the self-image rearrangement that I looked more like a “matron” than a lady (hmmm?) the description of the role he was given created some questions that have yet to be cleared up.

• The role was described as comic relief
  • I’ve never actually done “comic relief” before.  My humor is more about situational stuff and wordplay.  It would be a new thing to learn.
• Am I the “doting mother” or the “matron” who’s constantly dumping her seven kids on Cinderella (highlighting her helpless plight)?
  • The compatibility of the two alludes me
• What is the behavior of these 7 children?
  • I have yet to see a comedy where the children behave properly
  • I e-mailed the director and said I would be willing to herd 7 children, but not 7 brats (I suppose that was horrid, but it’s true.)
  • I’ve often thought that more intimidating than unruliness (and less-frequently explored, perhaps because it’s more complex) is the “perfectly behaved” children who are positively devious and make their digs by cunning rather than brute-brattyness.
    • This possibility actually creeps me out more than spiders.  Or at least as much.

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

I have my latest project (with Christmas for the deadline): dollhouse dolls.

I was so excited to see Barbara Curtis‘s post about the hugely discounted M&D dollhouse that I bought it the same day (it’s still going for under-retail now, but then it was $47.99, I think).  Local retailers ended up being out of the little dolls, so now I am in the process of making little flexible family members to live in said house.

It may even turn into an “entrepreneurial opportunity” as one owner of a sold-out shop emphatically affirmed her store would be very happy to offer locally made dolls.

(We’ll see how interested I am after I finish our own bundle)

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

I was at Barnes and Noble yesterday, considering all the delicious ways to spend a gift card, and the oddest thing happened as I cruised the section of the children’s department where I read the most.

I felt a claustrophobic tightening in my chest.  Just standing and looking at books was making me dizzy, and not in a good way.

This I’ve noticed only once before: when perusing the Lloyd Alexander section in my local library.  Dude’s got a gobzillion books out!

I can only suppose the feeling is a goulash of emotions: anticipation (someday I’ll be there), anxiety (when will that be?  When will I be done?), overwhelmed-ness (at the prolific-ness of other writers), and maybe even jealousy (at the freedom they seem to have in order to be prolific…)

I had to make myself be still and pray, waiting for God settle my mind and emotions before I could finish looking for the book I wanted that day.

Unreal, but making me again thankful I have a God who’s bigger than my emotions.

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

Once that was over I propped myself in one of the cushy chairs by their circular fireplace and worked some more on the timeline of my novel.  I had two distinct packages emerge in the process, and solved a squished-time dilemma (I’ve needed an extra day and just found where it belonged).

So, I have to give Jay’s fireplace idea some credence.  There’s a lot to be said for watching the flames.  It’s like a shower for your brain.  At least for me, having something visual and real, but inconcrete, was very useful.

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

I’ve decided I like to eat too much for weights or Pilates to be enough exercise.

Not that I eat a lot (I imagine I’ve got that under control) I just like, a lot, to eat.  And the stuff I want to eat, that I’ve been eating, has maintained me 13-lbs above my target weight (trust me when I say my target is not unrealistic, or even low, for my height).

The trick, as with all exercise, is finding something sustainable.

Free weights and Pilates are doable because I can take from books and do them in my living room.  The walking with my dog has been put on-hold because sub-zero walks are far from the motivating delight “normal” walks are.

I’ve considered a step, as I like the space requirements and exercising to music, but I’ve not taken the plunge yet.

We did see one in the same place Jay noticed a pull-up bar he wanted, so we may end up getting both together.  Maybe for a new-year’s project.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

After looking yesterday at all three furniture stores in-town, Jay decided he wants to build the bed frame himself.

His goal is to get the main support and frame built this weekend (so we can buy a mattress and get our bed off the floor) and to design it so that a later-constructed set of drawers may be slid under it whenever they are completed.

This was the design we liked best out of what we saw, only most of these drawers were simple “friction” drawers, where you needed to drag a wooden box out of a wooden hole.

Jay knows he can do better than that, though he/we might not even have bothered, truly, if it weren’t for the exorbitant cost of new furniture.  If I’m paying over a thousand dollars for an item (we’re pushing a house-payment here!) I expect to get *exactly* what I need.

I suppose we could be considered unreasonable consumers.  But there you are: Jay will take on a project, same as me, when he knows he can do it as well, or better, then what is otherwise available.

So the bed will come before the fireplace– but I expect the next time we’ve saved some house money the fireplace will be next.

My brain is so full (and my time so clogged) that I’m going to do this again.  I’ve written at least four posts since the last 7-takes, but none of them were right for general consumption, so I’ll just touch some here and go on.

~ ~ 1 ~ ~

Been fighting bedbugs since last Sunday’s blitzkrieg.  Three days ago I realized the hardest thing about it all (okay, one of the three hardest tings) is a basic reality I learned in Introduction to Logic 10 years ago:

You can prove something exists.  You cannot prove something does not exist.

I’m feeling very good about the situation currently, but I can’t change what I’m doing because I have no way of knowing if I’ve “won” or if I’m just holding things off for the present.

I pray it’s the former.

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

I find constant housework mentally draining.  “Just pick it up when you see it” only works for me if I’m chooing not to see it all.

As a project-oriented person I feel I do my best when rotating between specific, goal-focused tasks.

The necessity of daily pick-ups for the daily vacuuming makes me a little nuts and I haven’t really figured out why or what to do about it.

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

My laptop’s mouse disappeared while I was vacuuming in the other room.  I really hope it surfaces soon.

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

I’ve been pulled toward my novel several times this last week, but not done any serious work.  I was reviewing my characters’ playlists (I’ve mentioned these before), adding songs, and really noticed the gap in appropriateness between my children and the stuff I’m writing.

Oddly (?) enough, it entered my awareness mostly from my realizing i didn’t want my kids listening to a steady diet of these songs I’ve collected.  Maybe they wouldn’t notice or care, but the stuff I collect leans toward the more emotionally intense.

It could be just my wiring, but these are rarely just background music, and when I finish one of these playlists I have a similar feeling to when I’ve sat through a movie– that breathless, half-tired rush of reentry to reality.

(And, again, if you look, the movies mean nothing– I collect these for the songs, so don’t read into what you might see.)

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

Because of all the “extra” work the dinosaurs have been put on perpetual hold.   Bummer.

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

Despite telling myself a long time ago that I would focus on guitar alone, I just realized I’m at about the same level on both.

That is to say, not great, but competent enough to accompany myself on songs I’ve practiced.  It’s amazing to me how much more alive and full a song sounds with an instrument.

And then it all jumps up that much again when a “real” pianist or guitarist plays that accompaniment.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

I had a couple positive reminders yesterday of kids absorbing their parent’s enthusiasm for something.

• I was practicing In Christ Alone on the piano and all the kids cycled through sitting with me until Natasha came and stayed.  I showed her the shaping of a couple cords, and her hand wasn’t quite stong enough, but she stayed with me and sang along while I played, watching the words and hardly missing any.
• The bible study I’m visiting just now has the high goal of memorizing a verse a week of the passage we’re studying.  Yesterday I was playing catch-up and had my reader watch the words while I recited them.  I couldn’t pause long to think because she’d start reading.  By the end she was cheering me on, and when I paused her little sister launched into Psalm 19, the passage we memorized together last summer.
  • Melody might have been the quickest learner back then, but she quite suddenly decided she didn’t like it any more and quit participating, so this was a “breakthrough” moment to have her back on board.

From Jen F.’s lovely idea of lumping the littles together in their  beautiful, interconnected randomness.

~ ~ 1 ~ ~

I read a book Monday, took Tuesday off, read a book Wednesday (I had a *completely* different ending mapped out for the book you sent me, Bluestocking.  Couldn’t help feeling mine was just a bit more logical/realistic.  If nothing else, intense.)

Jay walked in on me starting a third book Wednesday morning and was a rather efficient wet blanket to my smoldering enthusiasm.  I gave up the new book and returned to a book that was already at “favorite” status with only one read.

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

While on my way home from Bermuda last week I finished Stephen King’s On Writing.  I loved how right he was about being encouraged by what you read.

He basically said that no matter what you read it’s good for you: either as a model to emulate/aspire to (though he repeatedly emphasized dreaming was the most we mortals can do with the really high caliber stuff), or as an encouragement that there’s stuff published that’s worse than what you’re currently producing.

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

That said, I felt encouraged by both “new” books I read this week.  I felt that I am writing solidly at the level both these books were at, and it really gave me confidence to dive back in…as corny as I sometimes feel.

The what (and flaws I noticed as a writer: i.e., the biggest things I would have tried to revise):

• The Hound and the Princess (the story was engaging, but quite a few talking-heads scenes.  Gave me hope that my own tendencies might not be as dangerous as I thought).
• Dream or Destiny (head-hoping and minute description of clothing choices.  Got used to it, but the quick-changing POV is a no-no in my writing circle/according to my training) D or D was a murder mystery/romance, and the jumps from leading man to leading lady are an understandable device of the writer to make it clear neither one is guilty.   Though she could have been sneaky and revealed one of them as an unreliable POV….

But then it wouldn’t have been a very satisfactory romance.

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

At the dog class last night the teacher asked what tricks I was teaching Joule.

Taken aback I said we weren’t don’t anything special– she can’t jump up, and has to lay down before she gets her dinner.  She *loves* to retrieve.

That’s not enough, I was informed.  She needs to be able to bow or wave or something. 

Get to work lady.  Don’t waste a brain.

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

I have a challenge looming over me that has given me some kind of emotional flu.  It’s resulted in my being less-kind than (honestly) I can ever remember being before.

Any prayers will be appreciated.

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

Have I mentioned here that one of my creative outlets (though not recently) has been making stuffed animals?

This would be of the distinctly-identifiable variety.  Not the make-a-blob-and-call-it-cute type.

I started making Teddy Bears (that’s my book review on Amazon) when I was 17.  Jointed and un-jointed.  Big coolness points.

Creating stuffed animals is something related to noveling and giving birth.  There is a moment when you see the spark of life and *other* in the thing taking shape under your hands: both of you and different from you.

Perhaps pathetic, but I am picking up the scissors again in an attempt to battle my “flu” and hope to finish designing my own pattern.  It is not a bear.  It combines what I learned from that book and this one about dinosaurs to mesh what I found to be the best elements of each.

I made my prototype two Mays ago and it only needs the head and tail modified.  Body spot-on the first time.

Comfortably pleased with myself.   Yes, I really do leave projects to sit for years at a time.  Less-pleased about that, maybe, but not enough to change.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

Fascinating place, Bermuda; everything that’s not a a bar or restaurant closes at five.  And the sun goes down within the next hour.  The warm dark was quite as surreal as expected.

And I *loved* the warm rain.

I was sitting in a hotel room writing while Jay was in a conference most of the day, and wrestled my way to a clean 3/4ths mark— before I had a whole flop of revision assert itself and create 5 new sections to write.

Yes, I might now be procrastinating a bit; but at least I have reasons.