Self-defeating

Not feeling like myself (probably from lack of sleep– the odds are pretty good) or not having/taking time to do my things (writing, reading, music); I can’t decide which is worse.

Intellectually I know that more sleep would be a good thing. But to get more sleep I have to do less of other things. Since children are “instant priority” the cut has to come from my own activities away from them. And I don’t want to give any of those up. I once heard someone say that in order for someone to do something uncomfortable (I think the example was coming to Jesus– both during his time on earth and today), “The desperation factor has to outweigh the embarrassment factor.”

This is a similar situation, I suppose. Before I can change my behavior, I will have to want sleep more than I want to do any of the other things I could be doing once the children are asleep.

I guess I just hope nothing huge and negative precipitates that shift in wanting…

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