At this point I’m not planning to restart the storytelling group in the fall. We easily agreed to put it on-hold for the summer (there are very few members involved enough to “vote” anymore), and I expected we’d start again once school began, but now I think my focus has shifted.

I may have mentioned before (who remembers this?) that Jay wanted me to keep my GKP (Gordian Knot Productions) work limited to two things.

He said this earlier in the year (or late last year?) when I began expressing interest in pursuing some freelance writing projects. I didn’t feel ready to drop teaching or storytelling, so I chose not to pick up the new ball.

But now things are shifting again. I’ve been pulled back more and more to writing. It’s an aspect of my personality I’ve been aware of for a long time: the more time I spend on something, the more I love it/want to do it. (This does not, unfortunately, apply so much to the have-to-dos like housework.)

Perhaps the more accurate way of phrasing this is, the more time I choose to think about something the more I want to do it.

I’ve been writing more and more lately (in various formats) and have really been “bit.”

I revived the discussion with Jay, and he suggested dropping storytelling for now, since the FAM teaching is already established (the talk, the website, and a # will be in the phonebook next time it’s published), so that’s the most logical one to keep.

Two other reasons I thought of at the same time:

• I’ve felt it important to teach b/c I see a need for the information, and
  
• the work is very intermittent and…
• concrete.

Okay, maybe that was three reasons.

Anyway, that the work I need to do (and there is work: I have to finish translating the presentation to Power Point, I need to expand the website and make it more flexible/usable), is defined. That’s a good thing.

With my attention being spread over so many things, having a clear goal, and definable steps to that goal, is hugely helpful. And intermittent just means it doesn’t frequently pull me away from my family.

The way things are right now, the storytelling is much less… definable. Learning a story has always been like learning a piece of music– except maybe there are more steps. How do you define when a piece of music is ready? Of course there are ways, but sometimes (I think) you just have to be forced to do it.

(Have I ever mentioned Jay threatened advertising a “family concert” to motivate me to practice more? Talk about pressure. He fortunately forgot about it soon after and when the date rolled around it was too late. )

Anyway, the lack of definable steps makes stories (and music as well) very challenging to perfect while running herd on three kids.

I’m reinventing the wheel with every story, lesson-plan, and program I put together, so I’ve found it very demanding, energy-wise.

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All that to justify to myself why I’m shifting my focus off stories for a time. And I still don’t think I could really do it, if it wasn’t that I’m telling a story in my writing now.

I don’t really know how good it is (I think it’s good enough for now, or I wouldn’t still be working on it), and I want to be okay with taking years to finish, but I’m enjoying the process.

And I expect whenever I develop “homesickness” for my stories I’ll be able to return to them and count it “research.”

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Less distant (and less far-out) projects are also on my radar. And if those end-up going anywhere you can be sure I’ll mention it here.