Category Archives: Writing

Yes, There is a Time I Feel it’s Ready.

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I’ve always loved the joke that Software is never “released;” it *escapes* largely because it makes me thing of writing.

I first discovered the line when I was working toward my bachelor’s in journalism, and it’s how I felt about many of my articles.

But as a “professional” (albeit pre-published) writer, I’d like to get a little more credit for recognizing the (lack of) quality in my work.

Especially as a blogger I feel I’m aware of this: I publish a lot of stuff— sometimes on a daily basis— that varies in quality. I hope I put thought and feeling into everything, but my life is too busy to *angst* over every post, waiting and wondering if it’s “ready.”

Obviously, I must break through the it’s-not-good-enough wall on a frequent basis. Or I wouldn’t have this many posts (pushing 450, believe it or not).

With my *limited* noveling hours anyone concerned may rest assured that I am not obsessing for hours about one page, waiting until I’ve gotten it “perfect” before I will unveil it for criticism.

Mainly I make sure I read-through/revise at least once, applying my own critical eye before I subject myself to others’.

~

The difficulty, I would guess, is that we have all read and heard (and regurgitated what we’ve read and heard) about people “never being ready” and needing to just do it whether or not they *feel* like it.

Surely there are times when “It’s not ready” (like “I’m overweight”) is simply a statement of truth, not an exhibition of insecurity or call for encouragement and reassurances.

For example:

I recently discovered a major character has a child born out of wedlock, and while that has clarified a bunch of issues and motivations, its also requires significant re-writing, again delaying its availability for general criticism.

Sorry, it’s just not ready yet.

Though if someone wants to read a first chapter… we might be able to work something out.

Cool— almost.

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I suppose I should take this as some sort of complement, but the children’s book manuscript I sent out last April earned one final rejection letter.

The reason it took so long is it lived through two editors before being shot down.

That’s some sort of endorsement, right? That one (or two) wanted to show it to someone else instead of rejecting it outright?

Anyway, I already went through all of the SCBWI publisher options for the last round of multiple submissions, so I don’t know if I have any more options.

Just sit on it a while, I guess. Maybe I’ll sing it at the local folk festival someday.

*I* think it’s a hoot, but maybe too much in an inside-joke way.

(More than) 10 Things That Inspire Me as a Writer

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Another Writing in the Dark workshop last Saturday.

The 10-things list is one of the exercises we raced through (the presenter, local playwright Anne Hanley, emphasized several times the usefulness of speed in getting past the inhibitions of the conscious mind).

Here’s what I came up with that morning:

  • Laughter
  • Reading
  • Explaining
  • A walk alone
  • A clear floor or open space
    • for me this means a peaceful environment and a sense of accomplishment
  • Remembered delight
  • Learning something new
    • This may distract me from my writing, but it energizes me as a person, so it’s probably “inspiring” on some level.
  • Quiet presence— the cat, sleeping children
    • This “being alone but not alone” is consistently my most productive time. Perhaps it’s an artificial deadline of they could wake up any time, or I ought to be sleeping. I need it!
  • Good Tea
  • A clear image, analogy or story to clarify a formerly muddy issue.

After all that the group read around the circle, Scattegories style, saying one thing that hadn’t been said yet. We each heard additional things that weren’t on our own lists. Here are my “extras,” some new friends reminded me of:

What inspires you?
What make you want to write?

Cut and Polish

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Pie crust Promise (“easily made easily broken”) coming up:

I need to avoid printing out my novel until I’ve got it completed in rough-draft form.

As-is I’ve got some major parts left to finish writing, but printed it anyway. Since printing I’ve had two *major* mental revisions and clarifications.

  • Among them
    • Changing the identity of a major character
    • Eliminating a formerly major character that the previous change overlapped (Tanith, mentioned in my song post)
    • Clearly dentified the three main story lines I’m weaving together
    • Discovered my main POV character. So. cool.

So with all of this, do you think I’m ready to line-edit what I’ve got printed out? No!

I’m doing the work of weaving the life of the new discoveries into the sense of the established order.

And it won’t really do just to say “keep the chapters that don’t get changed.”

One of the intimidating-but-exciting changes that is happening this round is more scene-cuts and interlacing (the “braid,” CAC calls it; “writing for suspense,” Stein calls it).

This work both disrupts the established order and makes very clear what sections are useful and which have no value.

I’ve only done this for one section so far, but reading the result gave me goosebumps.

I used to be embarrassed to admit my own writing can affect me this way. It sounds very unsophisticated and self-exalting.

But at the writing conference I went to in October one of the editors basically said we need to be affected by what we write, because if we aren’t, what makes us think anyone else will be interested.

Anyway, I’m excited to have again a clear “next step.”

This time I’m planning just to write as I go, rather than trying to outline to the end.

For one thing, I’ve done that twice already, and know the process saps so much of my creative life I have no “oomph” left for actual creating of story.

And for another thing, I think it’s negatively invoking this principle. I no longer feel the need to tell once I’ve told all.

I mentioned last week how helpful it was to have Jay (in particular) to bounce things off of, but that was for twists and concepts that were half-formed and needed airing for clarity.

The current idea (and I’m nearly giddy about it– though I don’t yet know where it’ll ultimately go) dropped fully formed into my mind.

I told Jay I wouldn’t tell him this one, because I want his unprepped reaction when he discovers it.

Now if I could just find where it belongs…

Yes, I’m working.

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We mothers at home occasionally have to fight feeling defensive when asked if we “work.”

Sometimes I feel the the same urge to defend my writing.

With my recent explanation about my connections between music and my novel I honestly cringed at some points, expecting a voice to ask accusingly why I was wasting time linking videos or talking about my novel instead of working on it.

I felt really guilty. Because I’ve got this solid inch of paper to read and edit through, and here I am…not.

Today I talked to three different people about how I’m at this crazy crossroads with my novel. How I’ve totally revamped the time-line for a more consistent internal logic, and how I’m beginning to question the amount of spirituality conveyed or emphasized in the story.

Then with the third regurgitation (this evening, with my husband) a bunch of stuff just came completely together.

And I suddenly realized I have been working this whole time. The music, the listening, the thinking, the saying something (over and over) until it made sense.

This is how storytelling works.

You tell and retell, because it’s refined each time as your brain tweaks and keeps the best parts for the next telling.

I talked for maybe half an hour (the longest so far) about my proposed changes, and Jay didn’t have any corrections. “Sounds good,” he said. “I like it.”

I love living with someone who’s read my stuff. It makes big questions and shifts like these so much easier to talk about.

So I started writing the skeleton of changes and ended up with over 1300 words in one sitting.

I still don’t know if I’ll start working through my manuscript when my children are awake (something I’ve been avoiding so far) but at least now I know better where I’m going, and this editing isn’t just walking into a dark tunnel.

Trust me, I’m working.

Character Songs

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One thing that always seems “magical” to me is when I hear a song (usually on the radio, but it’s also happened in a store) with a message, sound or single line that perfectly encapsulates a personality, action beat or relationship.

I initially noticed this when I was working on my first novel, and heard a line from “For the Longest Time” by Billy Joel:

And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn’t happened for the longest time

It was the heart of the first part of the novel and their interaction.

So here are some highlights for my current work (don’t read anything into the videos– I never saw them before I did a search for the song itself. YouTube is an *awesome* substitute for iTunes– I just don’t watch while I’m listening if it’s for the sound, like here).

I guess I’m more auditory than visual, because if I’m going to be imagining for a while, it’s with music rather than images. I think these examples hint at the individual conflicts of interest that arise in my novel.

Includes the lines,

“…I feel so small and bewildered…
Tell me that you love me, tell me that you want me
Even if I’m not all you thought I would be.
Tell me that … you’ll catch me when I fall.”

Cecilia is the bride arranged for the crown prince Torbjorn, and I love this sweet wistful song for her. Torb doesn’t have a song of his own yet, but (jokingly) I’ve assigned him “I knew I loved you before I met you,” as his relationship song, because he’s that kind of guy— one who makes up his mind and that’s the way it is.

I always wondered…

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Really, I have guessed I was what the elementary schools would have labeled “gifted” when I was in school. (Being homeschooled most of my elementary experience I didn’t really have many to compare myself to.)

A comment in my latest read made me think of it:

A piano teacher told me gifted children were the very hardest to teach because they expected to be able to sit at a piano and instantly play.

I can *so* relate to this.

So many things have happened easily for me that when something is challenging I find myself wagging my head for a moment like a dizzy puppy before deciding whether to continue.

My rational side says, Of course. This is a skill, it requires investment.

My {whatever you want to call the} other side whines It’s just not *natural* for it to be this hard!

This happens mainly for me with instruments, but also with my current stage of noveling.

This commentary of Bittner’s (author of the book linked above) on the topic of giftedness is so good:

Capable children must learn to struggle through challenging tasks.

There is no possible way they can get through their entire lives without encountering something they can’t do well, and it’s better for them to learn how to work hard at something when they are still young enough to receive your guidance and encouragement…

When he pleads to quit, or loses his temper because the subject isn’t going well, be gentle and encouraging, but firm. Tell him he must continue to work at this, but show him how to tackle the project.

This is the role I’d been trying to get Jay to take in relation to something— anything— challenging that I’m drawn to. I finally asked him if he could chose something for me. Something he liked that he could own as important to him too.

I wanted to be able to “plead to quit, or lose [my] temper because [X] isn’t going well” and still have that gentle encouragement I need to keep on.

Jay picked the novel, and I felt this lovely rush of relief (almost like the other options were even more work) and thanked him for his choice.

So, while the process isn’t moving much faster than it was, my mental energy is less scattered, and that’s what I attribute this week’s successes to.

I am “almost” done with my first draft, but my structure and time-frame have changed significantly, requiring another read-through with cutting and re-ordering.

I have a printout sitting on my desk that is intimidating in it’s hight.

“And it’s not not even a whole novel!” I moaned, thinking of the amount of work left.

Jay’s calm answer: “It’s a whole lot of a novel.”

See, he’s already doing his job. :)

Reading and Writing

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I’ve started a book that is actually about homeschooling this time (the last one wasn’t as much about homeschooling as it was about a mom who homeschools).

And I’m back to work on my novel after more than a month. Reworked the opening and the ending last night and today during naptime. So cool when things just *work* like they did.

What I wanted to get in my opener:

  • protagonist/characterization
  • villain/characterization
  • main conflict introduced
  • hint at possible solution or difficulty of win

And I am very excited because I think I got elements of all of them.

*Sigh* I love writing openings. It’s the hammering out details of plot where I get bogged down.

It helps that Jay is bugged by inconsistencies in the novels he reads. I will be thinking out-loud about a change and then I (or he) will point-out a looming inconsistency. Then we’ll talk through how to bring it into alignment with the rules we’ve made up for this story’s world.

Granted, I’m interested in the game longer than he is, but even the minimal feedback I got last night when he was reading his snowmachine magazine was enough to get me past a couple different stucks that let me write today.

Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow!

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Happy New Year!

And I just *had* to share my delight.

In October I attended a writer’s workshop where I recieved back my novel’s first-chapter that had be reviewed and commented on by one of the editors present. For almost three months now I’ve thought my folder from there– holding both the marked-up manuscript and my skip-the-slush-pile cards– had been thrown away.

But I found it this morning.

I’ve been re-organizing my bookshelves (what do you do for a thrill?) and found it buried on a bottom shelf.

All I could say was, “Bless God! Bless God! Bless God!”

I brought out the cards and plopped them in front of Jay. Natasha asked what they were and I said Jay would tell her. He read them, only half paying attention, and two beats later the light went on and he was excited too. (“I’m so happy for you!”)

He had wondered if he was the one who had thrown it away during a house blitz.

Because it Made Me Laugh

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And I more-than-half believe it’s true.



I haven’t touched my novel since the end of November (got 10, 908 new words, btw, in case anyone wondered), as I’ve been preparing for a storytelling presentation in the creative free-time I’ve carved out.

January 5th I’ll be giving my first story “concert” in, I think two years. It’s half an hour, so I don’t honestly know if that’ll count as a concert, but it is at least a collection: four tales set in a framing story (Glimmers in the Darkness, from this new page I just put together).

Everything I’ve done in-between has generally been a single story here or there.

Do check out the new page and tell me what you think. I was very excited to see how many stories I have.

Several of these you may recognize from Tuesday Tales (I didn’t link all that I could). What do you think of the one-liner explanations? Do they “give away” too much or over-simplify in a distracting way? Do they make you more interested in the story?

~

And just because we all know this blog isn’t eclectic enough, I’m planning a little two- or three- post series on my experience living in, then parenting in, a fostering family.

In the meantime, if you want a more experienced voice, I’d like to point you toward Mommy Monsters Inc., the blog of a foster-adopting mom.

I especially appreciate her latest post, Adoptive Family Planning: A Wise Choice. Very thorough and thoughtfully written.

Blessings on your day!