Category Archives: Reading

The Solution

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Another excerpt from where I’ve been working lately.

This one takes place in the fitting room, where Linnea, the Lindorm‘s Bride-to-be has been fussed over for hours.  She, of course, has to wonder if her wedding dress will also be her shroud, until a mysterious old woman comes to her while she (Linnea) is alone.

When the queen and Prince Torbjorn return to the room, the king and Hjalmar (special forces) captains are with them.   The captain Tykone is a friend of Linnea’s from childhood and tried to protect her from being offered to the monster.  Rickard, the other captain, has reasons to think less of Linnea.

As mentioned before, Sarsé is this kingdom’s female title of respect and/or rank.  The prince has just told Linnea to say exactly what she means, despite his mother’s objection.

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Opposites may Attract, but it’s Similarities that Stregthen

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So many comedies (and couples) are build on the premise that “opposites attract” and all its derivatives.

While that may be useful for awkward comedic situations (and any number of marriages) I tend to agree with Neil Clark Warren:

In his book Finding the Love of Your Life (originally published by Focus on the Family) he asserts that similarities are money in the bank (of marital harmony) while differences are drains on the account.

Basically, the more similarities you have, the less you have to fight about.  Warren included in that book a very specific list of 50 areas of “helpful marriage similarities” where, essentially, similarity or agreement would simplify your life together.

In May of 2000, when Jay and I, in our different ways, were considering this marriage thing a possibility, I brought the list on one of our rambling drives and we began to work our way through it.

At this point I knew Jay wanted to get married, but I didn’t know what God wanted, and I didn’t know what I wanted.  So having a list was useful to me: something concrete and definable.

Knowing Jay wanted to marry, and knowing he knew me and my reliance on… well, outside confirmation, you could call it, I completely did not trust him.

Not that I believed he would lie– I already knew him to be one of the most deeply honest and open people I’d met– but I didn’t trust that his innate flexibility wouldn’t mold his answers to be more… compatible than fully accurate.

It was a Monday night when we worked our way through the first half of the list, me making him answer first, because I didn’t want my answers to influence him.  Before we’d made it through the first dozen I felt life a simpering “yes-man” because I was agreeing with all of his answers.

~ ~ ~

What I learned that night (and the next, before accepting his proposal Wednesday) greatly set my heart as ease.

When I first “noticed” Jay, my mind made a mental list of the dividing line of differences between us (the biggest I can remember at this moment being the type of movies he would see that I wouldn’t– mainly for the violence).  It was literally a “deal-maker” to see in list form–to recognize– the amount of significant similarities we shared.

If you want to see the whole list you should pick up the book, but I wanted to share the majors as Warren lists them.

First though, as Warren points out, no one thing breaks a relationship on its own; it is about debts vs. credits.

That being said, there are some similarities that are especially important:

  • Intelligence (not the same thing as education)
    • How smart doesn’t matter, but closeness in level does (feeling markedly superior to your partner is not something I consider healthy)
  • Values
    • What’s important to you: morally, relationally, in how you spend your time
  • Intimacy (of the non-sexual kind)
    • Are you equally capable/open?
  • Expectations about roles
    • Do you both know who’s going to make dinner?  Change the oil?  (Please change your own; it’s so simple and will save you some serious money)

You can see these are all things that could create frustration and discomfort when “nothing” was really wrong in your world.   Add in the normal stressors of life (and/or a kid or two) and you’re starting to feel like the ant under a magnifying glass).

When he listed the differences that cause the most problems I found myself nodding like a puppet– Most of us have heard of these  being elements in the divorces we’ve been forced to observe:

  • Personal habits
    • e.g. hygiene, clutter-bug/neat-nick
  • Use of Money
  • Verbal skills/interest in being verbal
  • Energy level
    • this last item was one I hadn’t considered before, though I’d heard the others.  But (especially having been married over eight years, now) I heartily concur.

Warren’s final observation is that flexibility can smooth over a great many differences; and “love covers a multitude of sins.”

To me the neat thing in all this was learning (the first time I read this book– before I even knew Jay, I believe) that there were things I could do before I was married to significantly reduce the amount of conflict in my married life.

For a (largely) non-confrontational type like me, that was great news!

And it has been a great life.   I think of my grandparents and marvel that (Lord willing) I still have many times the years we’ve already spent.

Conflict and snappy comebacks are great for books and sitcoms, but in my own nest what I enjoy most is simple peace.

I’m in Trouble

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I’ve made it 18 days into this new year, and not bought a single book (for myself…) but I’m being reminded by a bunch of my blog reading that one of my jobs as a writer is not only to read, but to read the current works in my genre.

My reading list is distinctly skewed to the older— at least, I’ve got books that go back as far as 30 years.  And I’m old-fashioned (or is it snobbish?) enough to like it that way.

So I’m redacting my reading page to make it less-obvious I’m limiting myself (if this is my only web-presence, I don’t need to make it that plain– unless they search and find this post ;) ).

And I’m changing my mind about resisting the siren song of the library’s new acquirements  (is that a word?).  Not sure how I’ll keep up with it, but I’m still determined to alternate writing and reading times: wanting to be sure I balance input and output to keep some perspective on my own work.

If that came out confusing, I’m trying to say that I will use the awesome library I have to pay for anyway to get a hold of the current important books.  There.  I can work toward my goals and do my duty at the same time.

A New Book

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I should mention that my determination not to buy books this year does not preclude receiving (or giving) them as gifts.

In the mail today I received my eagerly awaited copy of Stand-In Groom written by Kay Dacus, one of my on-line friends.

Some months ago I (along with her other blog-readers)  was offered a chance at a sort of “advance copy” of Kaye’s first published book.

I was told it would arrive in December, and when I didn’t receive it or hear anything at all I imagined I must have been bumped from the list (no hard feelings).   During a last minute visit to Barnes and Nobel I even asked after it, and was told it wouldn’t be available until January.

So I was delighted to begin a new book today– especially as I haven’t read any fiction for more than a week.

And especially having just got home from trip that begs more analysis than I’m willing to give it.  (I may blog about it eventually, but not today.  I’m waiting to first tell my husband the story, and he gets home from another trip tonight.)

I will say it’s a story about God’s goodness and provision.

Life-threatening illness, night-driving through driving snow and wind.  Ice, perfect timing, a state trooper’s affirmation and a tow-truck.  An earthly father’s attentiveness, and a 6-year-old’s epiphany.

And a small corner of the story is my realization that there are many milestones toward growing up that I had not realized when I was 18.  Like being the driver on a road-trip.  Though I’d guess most Americans reach that before they have three young children to placate for 400 miles.

I had a busier week than usual and am ready for a rest.

Many thanks Kaye.  I am delighted at your success and waving a purple-and-gold pennant for you. ;)

A Shift in Reading

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I am learning a new way of reading: simply pressing on.

If something doesn’t line up with my memory I’m continuing anyway rather than going back for more clarity.

I see only two possibilities: it will be cleared up later, or the author made a mistake.  Neither option changes my main my goal of consuming the story, and going back hinders it.

Thinking on this epiphany (the fact that is was an epiphany) it really is curious to observe the contradiction of my thoughts; the working of my brain.

First, I want to have everything *just* so, to understand everything neatly in its place.  Simultaneously I delight in finding un-obvious connections; in exercising my story-sense.  Stopping and back-tracking for names or obscure references feeds the first tendency, and pressing on makes use of the second.

It involves “trusting myself;” a belief system I’ve kept at arm’s length due to the near-sacred position it has gained in our modern world (despite its true followers being as rare, perhaps, as true Believers).  Even so it is a confidence-builder to have a type of working partnership with an author: reading carefully, but once, and trusting she’ll give me enough to keep me afloat.

~ ~ ~

I’ve told myself I want to finish this novel before I  pick up another book.

Too often I’m a “read the one you’re with” type, which results in much pleasurable and varied reading but less a sense of accomplishment.

And when that’s done I want to finish reading windows.  I dearly wish to apply this pressing-on method of reading to an instructional book.

I’ve kept putting it down, wondering how in the world to take notes on the myriad of … everything the author is pouring into the book, and I want for a change to just consume it and trust, for a while, the partnership of my brain and the Holy Spirit.

I believe and have frequently said:

I don’t think the brain really forgets anything: Once it has something it just needs the right trigger to bring it back.

Incidentally, this is why I think simply reading scripture has value– even if you don’t feel you can memorize well.   At 17 I had an experience where God used a passage I *never* spent the time to memorize (and trust me, I didn’t read it a lot– it wasn’t that sort of passage) to encourage a baby believer.  It was one of those things that feels ordinary at the time, and you look back later realizing you were in the midst of a miracle.

I want to test my theory a bit and see if just consuming the information can be enough.

I know someone could say we’re supposed to be doers, not merely hearers but I’ll remind anyone who cares that it all starts by hearing.  So that’s where I’m starting.

Saved by the Language

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So after reading this post I remembered how every reminder (vague or specific) of the Arthurian stories makes me less interested in reading them.

I had three books from this lay on my shelf, and I picked up the first to briefly peruse before setting it on the “leaving” shelf in the garage.  Here’s what I read:

Some people there are who, being grown, forget the horrible task of learning to read.  It is perhaps the greatest single effort that the human spirit undertakes, and he must do it as a child.

Those were the first words I’ve ever read of John Steinbeck’s.

I opened to the middle and realized at once why people will spend time in the depression with this man, or listen to a story that they know will end badly.   As much as I despised the tale, even as I was reading it, I knew I could keep reading– and go back to the beginning, even; simply because it was so well written.

It really makes all the difference.   This one is still sitting on my shelf.

YA Waiting to be Read

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Over the last year and a half I have been collecting books written for “young adults.”

This is the year I am spending a lot of effort working through as many of them as possible.  In some cases I was able to pick up several early books in a series, in other cases just the first, but I hope to read as many first books (*) as possible, because I’m trying to decide how I feel about series.

(And because I’d love to find new favorites for myself…)

On my shelf:

  1. The Book of Three* (Alexander)
  2. The Black Caldron (Alexander)
  3. The Castle of Llyr (Alexander)
  4. The Coming of Dragons* (Lake)
  5. The Wreckers* (Lawrence)
  6. Beyond the Deep Woods* (Stewart/Riddell)– along with the next three The Edge Chronicles
  7. The Revenge of the Shadow King* (Benz/Lewis)
  8. 3 more Charlie Bones books.
  9. The Jaguar Princess (Bell)
  10. Fire Arrow (Pattou)
  11. The Unhandsome Prince (Moore)
  12. The Privilege of the Sword (Kushner)
  13. Briar Rose (Yolen)
  14. Sang Spell (Naylor)
  15. The Healer’s Keep (Hanley)
  16. Suitor’s Duel (Niles)
  17. Fairest (Levine)
  18. Fly by Night (Harding)
  19. Ogre, Ogre (Anthony)
  20. The Sight (Clement-Davis)
  21. Fire-Bringer (Clement-Davis)
  22. The Fairy Tale Detectives* (The Sisters Grimm)
  23. Children of the Lamp The Akhenaten Adventure*
  24. Children of the Lamp The Blue Djinn of Babylon
  25. Dragon’s Blood (Yolen)
  26. Peter and the Starcatchers* (Barry/Pearson)
  27. The Keepers A Wizard Named Nell*

My “high goal” and aspiration is to shift into a sort of reading zone while working through this.  Not only for the sake of speed, but with that confirmed speed I’ll be more willing to pick up books (like #26) that appear to be a cliche of poor, brave/feisty little girl shows all those stupid, mentally confined adults/males that she’s just as good (or better!!!) doggone it! And give it an actual chance to be better than its cover-copy.

Soapbox:

I’ve never understood why so many women who want to prove women can do *anything* do it by trying to be like men.

Lets go for a little more originality here, ladies!

And, for the record, just being “better” is not that original; any more than blue becoming dark green is much different than becoming medium green.  Can we have more purple in our world?  Or what’s wrong with blue, anyway?  I *like* blue…

This is the kind of “girl power” I most enjoy reading (and find the most believable, even).

Books I Read (Finished) in 2008

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I stopped writing reviews pretty early, and I don’t know if I’ll remember everything, but this is what I can think of now. In the order I pulled them off the shelves– not necessarily the order in which I read them.

At least some are re-reads: (R), and I refrained from listing the (probably numerable, but only with too much work) children’s picture books I read.

  • A Mom Just Like You
  • Homeschooling: Take a Deep Breath— You Can Do This!
  • Home by Choice
  • Fire-Hunter (R)
  • Coraline (Gaiman)
  • Sport (Fitzhugh) (R)
  • Perilous Gard (Pope) (R)
  • On Writing (Stephen King)
  • Stein on Writing (Sol Stein)
  • Becoming a Writer (Brande)
  • The Bridge (Massi) (R)
  • Swan Sister (ed. Datlow/Windling)
  • The Princess and the Hound (Harrison)
  • East (Pattou)
  • A Well-Timed Enchantment (Velde)
  • Russian Tales of Fabulous Beasts and Marvels (Wyndham)
  • Cinderellis and the Glass Hill (Levine)
  • Dream or Destiny (Ammann)
  • The Book of Dragons (Hague)
  • The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (R) to the kids
  • The Horse and His Boy (R) to the kids
    • I started a number of other chapter books, and while the kids will sit and listen, they never really got into any of these.  I’ve mostly stopped attempts for now, realizing I could run out of good reads too early if I start them too young.  There are too many *excellent* picture books (requiring more of their readers) to urge them quickly into chapter books.

I was going to do a short series on reading, but ended up making a 2009 Books page instead.  With my decision to stop buying (which I hope to better on this year than last) I descided to try my first reading challenge and am looking at my un-read collection with anticipation.

7 Quick Takes for the New Year

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~ ~ 1 ~ ~

Looks like it’s going to be another chilly entry into the new year: -30° and colder since two days after Christmas, and a bunch of highs near -40° through at least next Monday.

Anybody whose been complaining about your winter weather can be reminded now: It could be worse.

I’ve lived here most of my life, am very content indoors and we rarely have much wind on these cold days– So “it could be worse” even for me.

For example, this could (and has!) happen(ed) during a week when Jay had to drive to work each morning.  Thankfully he has this week off and we can hibernate if we so choose.

And the best part is a week of this and I’ll have no qualms about bringing in all the bedbuggy stuff still outside.  (Jay says he does, though, so I’m not sure what will happen.)

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

My “big” resolution, or goal, or… whatever you want to call it:

Nothing new this year.  Not even books– used or new.

This means not starting any new projects in 2009.

By contrast, in 2008, with an already-full life, I

The natural result of “nothing new” is no recreational buying.  No buying “on spec” (my gift shelf is well-stocked, my kids’ grow-into boxes ready, my homeschool books boxed and waiting.), and maybe even no buying without a list.

That last detail’s going to take more thought.

It means finishing the projects and books I’ve started (and bought to start), and training my mind to think first of what I have– even before the Library or other borrowing– because this isn’t first about saving money.  It’s about re-training my thinking.   The purpose of the exercise is to shift my thinking from “outward” and “exploring” to being more home- and contentment-centered.  Satisfied.

I have told myself I can buy books this year once/if I finish what I’ve already bought, but considering I’ve glutted myself a bit in the last two weeks, leading up to this challenge, that is even less likely to happen than is was last year when I tried the first time.

It is sobering to re-read that post and know my goal is exactly the same a year later.  But I also know that I made choices that led to discarding the effort, so (Lord willing) I’ll make a more purposed attempt this time around.

The first thing is to not go into a bookstore– because I *will* find something I’d like to buy (Yesterday I made sure to empty my B&N gift card and buy the one book left to complete the last of 2008’s series’ collecting).  The rest I guess I’ll figure out as I go along.

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

I just introduced the idea of “chore charts” to the kids yesterday, and made one for myself as well.

Since I felt it would be either overwhelming or depressing to actually list everything I must do, I just made a 3-point chart for me:

  • Read Bible
  • Exercise
  • Brush dog

I like having such a short list to look at; especially since I sometimes make serious to-do lists on the side.  My three little stickers at the end of the day feel so fulfilling I have no questions about why this works for children.

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

Starting the book Opening Your Child’s Spiritual Windows tonight raised a lot of questions in my mind.  Most about the nature of my relationship with my children.

Slantwise about the legitimacy of my writing and my desire to read so much YA fiction this year.  I (mentally) compared Fire Arrow with OYCSW and can see the value so much clearer in the second.

But unless I feel the call to write being withdrawn (which I haven’t) I have to assume they both are important.  Not because I expect FA to change my life (as OYCSW might) but because I need to be faithful to develop the skills God has called me to build.

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

I forget now where, but recently I read someone who insisted the way you become a better writer is 50% by writing and 50%  by reading.

Thinking on the implications of this I determined to keep it “before my eyes” (hence my massive reading goals).  I want to keep this in mind, because if I let my approach to the craft slip too much into writing alone (however important I know that practice to be) I fear I’ll fall into an underlying arrogance; that I might imagine I can improve simply from within, without external input.

And that goes against everything I say I believe.

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

My reading list– all books (though not all the books) that I have waiting on my shelves– is in my new right-hand column.

I have a new page listing what I’ve finished, what I’m reading, and a few thoughts on each as I go along

No reviews here, and no spoiler-warnings either: just the notes I want to keep for myself, and they won’t be spoilers for me.  Consider yourself duly (dully?) warned.

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

I *love* my new blog template.  It’s set up with all the changeable options (fonts, colors, widths) in an actual menu, so I don’t have to go digging though the style sheet to find them.

Anyone who’s tried to wiggle their own template details will understand when I say:

Absolute *delight* to work with.

More 7 Quick Takes at Jen’s place.