Category Archives: Observations

A New Perspective on Spending Time with God

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Some of you who read this blog know I was raised in the Church, and have always struggled with how much… whatever I was “supposed” to do. Fill-in-the-blank for whatever: Bible-reading, “quiet time,” prayer, service.

I have not, like some Christians, ever felt compelled by my church to do more. I only see new perspectives that make me reevaluate what I might be doing, or not doing.

(If you’ve been hanging out a while you’re probably also aware that “reevaluation” is for me sort of a cross between a running-gag and a need in my mind).

Right now I’m thinking about “spending time with God,” something that (rightly) is portrayed as necessary for spiritual growth, and frequently seems to involve chunks of time alone.

I am not the only mother of pre-schoolers to confess this is not a regular practice.

At a new bible study group I visited yesterday, the study-book brought up the image of God waiting for us to join Him in a special meeting place, and of Him missing us when we don’t show up.

The point was to see God as someone who values us and wants to spend “quality time” together. The idea that the interaction is not just for our benefit. It is a thought-provoking image. And a guilt-inducing one.

I had a new image come to me today (for any, like me, who have seen a certain part of the Lord of the Rings audio commentary).

What if, instead of a meeting in the drawing room, tête-à-tête by the fire, our relationship with the Lord was represented by something more like Frodo and Sam– a quester and his “back-man.”

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In Defense of “Movie” Dates

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When I was in high school it was very common for groups of friends to go to see movies together.

It was also common for my mother to make a remark like, “Why spend your time at a movie? There’s no interaction!”

I only did one or two visits a year to the movie theater back then. Still averaging that now, but in anticipation of my first post-baby visit, (and my first “date” since I-can’t-remember-when) I will list my reasons for watching movies not-alone.

  • Quiet “being” time
    • Yes, I know there are other types, but we enjoy having a variety of ice cream flavors too.
  • A shared “experience”
    • While it is all imaginary, it is, especially if well-told, a Story after all. And the purpose of a story is to understand or experience something by being put into it.
    • It was Nora Whats-her-name (the directer of You’ve Got Mail and other things) who said the appeal (or even thrill) of romantic comedies isn’t in their originality. It’s in their ability to recreate for the viewer an echo of the excitement of her/his own experience, bringing the memory into sharper focus– recreating the emotional potency.

    (I love that. I started paying attention and now think it’s largely true.)

  • Observation
    • When I saw the first Pirates movie, I instantly knew I wanted to be with my dad when he saw Jack Sparrow coming into port at the beginning. I wanted to watch him watching that whole sequence that followed.

    (Knowing him, I guessed he would enjoy it, and I suppose I’ve never outgrown a daughter’s natural delight in her father’s laughter)

    Continue reading »

What I’ve Learned in a Year of Blogging (pt. 2)

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Some highlights (October 2006 to January 2007):

What I’ve Learned in a Year of Blogging (pt. 1)

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Some highlights (March to September, 2006):

Happy…*Something* to Me…

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One year ago today I posted my First blog entry. (Very interesting now to see what’s changed.)

It was on Xanga, on an account I had finally opened in order to be able to comment on the well-established blog of a childhood friend. I’ve never been able to not-jump-in a conversation…

When I wrote my first profile I was self-conscious beyond words (Like I need one more reason/excuse to think of myself! Who’s even going to read it?). The first Xanga profile I wrote contained a line like, This is an experiment. Let’s see if it goes anywhere.

Now, with a total of 308 posts (159 posts here and 149 at Family News), it’s clear this is no longer in the “experimental” stage.

Even allowing for the doubling of some pre-June posts (June being the time I switched to a two-blog format) that number still looks impressive to me.

The dating format has been a surprisingly motivating way to keep me writing frequently, and the self-consciousness has been replaced with self-awareness which is much more useful for a hobby/endeavor like this.

Among other blessings (many come simply from writing frequently) I’ve been able to record both more of the every-day and stressful times (both were missed when I simply journaled), because I’ve trained myself to write regularly.

And in everything recorded I see repeatedly the unflagging faithfulness of our mighty God.

“If it were not for His mercy…”

Creative Politics

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We have a new State Rep. in Juneau this session; a young guy, who really seems to be trying to juggle that tricky task of staying connected “back home” while he’s hundreds of miles away.

There has recently been a huge stink locally, about a former multi-term Mayor (current pastor) and his wife getting indited by a Grand Jury on a bunch of charges involving the miss-use of federal grants.

A number of people, University students clear up to the Governor herself, were calling for this guy to step-down from one of his remaining positions of influence. This he has refused to do.

Tongue-clicking and redoubled speculation ensued.

I wrote a Letter to the Editor (a local masochistic pastime) back at the beginning of February:

Regarding the many calls for the resignation of Regent {So’n’So},

please, lets all remember that “innocent until proven guilty” is still the rule, and a jury of one’s peers is not (or shouldn’t be) quite the same as the storm of public opinion. Let things lay where they’ve fallen and allow the proper time and procedure for picking them up.
Sincerely,
{etc.}

The two days before my letter ran, other, longer, letters with a similar message ran as well, only they were more along the lines of “they’re innocent until proven guilty, so I’m backing them.”

As I was careful to avoid any language of *support* (wanting only to encourage/remind people to wait on due process), I hoped my letter wouldn’t be mentally grouped with theirs.

My letter didn’t garner any response so I moved on.

Monday this week I received a hand-written note from my new Representative at the Capitol, agreeing with my choice of position as presented in the Letter to the Editor, and the invitation to write him if there were any issues on my mind, etc.

The guy seems to be following local news via the local paper (always a good idea), did his homework to know I was in his district, and chose to use that as a point of contact.

I was impressed at his initiative. It seemed a very creative idea.

Finding and Changing Plans

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I got some books about Charlotte Mason from the library today. Along with a book that was very helpful when I used it two years ago. I’m hoping for some solidity in homeschooling expectations and help with my current sleep-debt.

Obviously my high-minded “reading-plan” has gone out the window. For now.

Not that it actually bothers me. Just that I’m continuing on as I have been. Doing what I want most to do at the moment.

It works for me a lot of the time, but calling it what it is (immediate gratification) always makes me uncomfortable.

I recognize it is a pattern of behavior– maybe even a mindset– that I struggle with, but because it works more than half the time, it is a very hard habit to break.

Those people who don’t want to talk to their kids about pot because it makes them feel like hypocrites? That’s the way I feel sometimes when I ask the girls to set something aside for later.

By the same token, I still do it, hoping they won’t end up with the same struggle I have. It’s hard to decide what to do sometimes.

Revealing Choices

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I’ve never seen an actual study on this, but the existence of advertising pretty much confirms it is true.

The choices we make, what we choose buy or spend time on, say a great deal about how and who we want to be.

My favorite examples of this are exercise magazines and diet books: perennial top-sellers, but very rarely having any new information. All (the good ones) are variants on the basic theme of *Take in less, Move more.* But they continue to sell, because, while we truly can’t buy good health or a better body, we can buy this symbol of hope, as a testament to our desire for change.

It’s been said by others than me that everything we buy is about image (that’s the whole point of good-looking/sexy/funny people in commercials, right?). I’ll try not to seriously analyze the psyche of the mom who’s always buying the name-brand mac & cheese, but I do start praying for her marriage when she excitedly tells me the titles if three or four relationship books she just bought on Amazon.

Everything is genetic.

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Sure, you can “overcome genetics”: dye your hair, exercise and eat right to counter a history of heart disease… but all that is still being driven– underlined– by genetics.

I stopped by my mom’s office on my way off campus this morning. I had just finished my last piano lesson class. As I was leaving I explained to some classmates I might come back next fall, but not this spring– I was going to take a semester off to shift focus to the guitar for a while.

So I walked up to my mom’s place thinking of how many different things I feel torn between, musically (guitar, piano), “professionally” (storytelling, noveling, children’s books) and home life (cleaning, meal planning, and “pre-school” for the girls). One of the first things she said to me was how dad felt pulled in so many directions by his many interests, and I could only laugh.

Grace for All Things

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Today’s epiphany, courtesy Hudson Taylor (via Adventures in Autism):

…In the easiest position He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult, His grace is sufficient.

I don’t remember particularly questioning God’s sufficiency in difficulty; my faulty thinking was more about assuming I could reach a level of competency that would leave me grateful for– but somehow less completely dependant on– God’s provision of grace for the smaller roles.

Taylor goes on with more encouraging reminders about sufficiency.
The illustration:

It matters little to my servant whether I send him to buy a few cash worth of things, or the most expensive articles. In either case he looks to me for the money and brings me his purchases.

What a lovely picture of dependency and trust.

So, if God should place me in serious perplexity, must He not meet much guidance; in positions of great difficulty, much grace; in circumstances of great pressure and trial, much strength? No fear that His resources will prove unequal to the emergency! And His resources are mine, for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me.

Such a great and precious promise from our faithful God and Father:

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”