Category Archives: Observations

Good Tea

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Did you know good teas are very similar to good wines?

By this I mean they can be expensive (wouldn’t you know I’d start there), their flavor is influenced by the pH of the soil their plants grow in, different times of collection and aging affect the flavor, and the variations are nearly endless.

If you are someone who delights in the unique flavors of different wines, I’d encourage you to find a teacupping (I believe it’s called) in your area, to introduce your pallet to some fascinating flavors.

I have friend who recently began a small-business selling tea and bought a bit to support her.

I love it.

It occurred to me that the idea of drinking tea to lose weight (I’m not even going to go into this further) has a true element, if this evening’s experience holds true: it doesn’t need to be a chemical zap or a magic pill.  It simply is, and the result is a decreased desire to eat.

While drinking my oolong, I noticed that the the warmth gave me a sense of being full, and the vague, almost sweet aftertaste of the oolong itself (I don’t put anything in my tea) left my palate satisfied.

Here is essentially nothing nutritious (in a sustaining sense), lulling my body into a place of contentment and satiety.

It made me think (wouldn’t you know…) about the Holy Spirit, and the idea of feeding on the Word.

~

Our gentle God does not (usually) alter the course of His created order, or make us change with a zap. He is gracious and patient with us, never changing. He simply is. And affects us by His nature.

~

There is no physiological reason to find filled-ness (or refreshing, or joy), in a book, but something in the way God created us provides just that.

~

Just now I am simply thankful for the warm parable in my cup: a bit of soggy-leaf juice, offering warmth, relaxation and satiety.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

James 1:17

Do we get a prize?

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For a week now, Jay has cleaned the living room and vacuumed it each night.

For a week now, I have daily taken some form of outdoor, active exercise; a walk (with my dog and 20-lb “pack”), or a 17-minute bike ride.

We both feel ready for some sort of prize. I guess this is where/why someone came up with that old saying:

Virtue is its own reward.

Yeah. I guess so…

“Only 15-minutes”

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Have you ever thought about the number of things we’re told we should be able to squeeze into each day because they only take 15-minutes.

  1. the amount of time added to meal-prep to make it from scratch (my unofficial average)
  2. the ab/butt/thigh destroyer (never done it, but a classic example)
  3. improve/expand your vocabulary (ditto)
  4. practice a musical instrument
  5. read the paper
  6. write a letter a day (to an old friend, to your representative, to the editor)
  7. memorize scripture
  8. read through your bible in a year
  9. journal before bed
  10. stretch
  11. take a short walk
  12. train your dog
  13. paint with your children (paint your children?)
  14. Bathe the children
  15. Shower yourself
  16. clean the bathroom
  17. tête-à-tête with your spouse when you meet again in the evening
  18. Putting on make-up in the morning
  19. washing your face four different ways before bed
  20. washing the dishes after dinner

There’s about five-hours worth of stuff there and I’ve barely touched on the basics of house maintenance and meal prep.

It really does go back to doing what we want most to do.

I think our limitations are just one more way of God to remind us both of our finiteness and of our need to depend on Him: both for the wisdom of what to actually do, and for provision in the gaps of what we are not able to do.

Dependence

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“Child-like dependence.”

The phrase makes me think of a dependence so utter that it can not even understand its dependency or articulate its need.

This is not the “cute” dependency of a baby or toddler gazing adoringly into your face as you cuddle.

This is the exhausted, hungry, sunburned child who is such an inarticulate puddle of maxed-out emotion and discomfort that she can’t tell you which need is greatest and might even reject overtures of help as attacks on her (albeit insufficient) autonomy.

My poor Melody was this yesterday. Elisha cutting teeth was this most of the night. Natasha well past nap was this today, minus the hungry.

And cross Mother is definitely at that place of inarticulate dependence.

All I can pray is, “It’s a good thing your Spirit prays for me when I don’t have the words, because I’m ‘standing in the need of’ without even the understanding enough to think what it is I should ask for.”

Contentment or Anger

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While continuing to think about yesterday’s topic, marriage came up.

Now, I suppose an unmarried person would take an admonition to contentment differently, but as a married person I find it interesting that husbands and husband-behavior didn’t come up in our spontaneous list.

Most of that can, I believe, be attributed to the fact that our group seems to be full of contented women (a blessing I wish for every young wife– to be surrounded by contentment. It is a good training ground).

We have every personality-type represented in our small church, and a variety of marriage-types (God did such a good job pairing us off!).

It would be possible for any of us to look at one thing another husband does really well, and become discontented or angry with our own husband, but to seek contentment we can fall back to this test:

Have I prayed about this yet? Why do I want this/him to be different? So I will look better? So my life will be easier?

After this conversation about anger and wanting and covetousness, I understood for the first time why some women have become angry with me when I talk about my relationship with my husband: I have something they want, but don’t have.

Perhaps I can try to redirect their reaction to prayer before their response progresses to (this seems so weird) covetousness?

Maybe there’s nothing at all I can do.

Does this mean I should avoid talking about my (fabulous!) husband, like I should avoid talking about being a millionaire?  (I’m not one, if you were wondering.)

I make it a point to not speak negatively of my husband, so someone might never guess what a truly balanced view I have of him, or make the (erroneous) assumption that he is perfect, or that I believe he is.

But it’s harder, I think, to not-talk about my husband than about anything else someone could envy.

I’m not really sure what the guidelines should be here.

I can’t control other people’s reactions, but I can pray for the sensitivity not to feed those reactions overmuch.

It’s an awkward balance to seek: modeling positive conversation about my husband (in the midst of husband complaints) without sounding like I’m gloating or exalting myself/my marriage.

Check Your Attitude

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What is the source of the wars and the fights among you? Don’t they come from the cravings that are at war within you? You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and don’t receive because you ask wrongly, so that you may spend it on your desires for pleasure.

James 4:1-3

Holman Christian Standard Version

This was our passage in Sunday School this morning. The discussion went something like this:

“Now, I can’t imagine any of us actually murdering because we couldn’t get something.”

“But there’s that passage where Jesus equates anger with murder, and I can see any of us getting angry about not getting something we want. Seeing things other people have and we don’t.”

“Not just things. There’s sleep, time.”

“Children.”

“Travel.”

“And, really, this passage is very clear why we don’t have what we want: ‘You do not have because you do not ask,’ (makes me think of an earlier blog post) or ‘You ask and don’t receive because you ask wrongly, so that you may spend it on your desires for pleasure.’ We just studied last summer that the point of prayer was to bring glory to God, not fulfilling our wants or needs.”

“So if we ask for something for ‘spending on our own pleasures‘ we’re working against the express purpose of prayer, and there should be no surprise it doesn’t work.”

~ ~ ~

Now, I know there are a number of ways and reasons God says “no” to prayers: His will for us, timing, protecting us from what we think we want…

But I think it is good, too, to run our unanswered prayers though this James 4:3 filter and see if we need to be convicted about a wrong attitude in the way or for what we’re asking.

One Trumps All

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When I’m holding forth on some topic and make an assertion from a statistical level, it is interesting to me how forcefully someone will disagree if their personal experience conflicts with my proposed reality.

Naturally “your reality is reality,” but if facts are presented that contradict your reality, well… then we have… global warming. Both sides. <rant warning>

Ugh. Enough already. When you have something new for the average citizen to do, I’d love to hear it. As long as you’re recycling sidebars from 1985 (yes, I know how much you love to recycle) quit beating us over the head: Real or unreal, give us some candles or stop telling us we suck up all the light.

<rant over>

*sigh*

I was just talking with someone last week about how much charting can help improve the chances of conceiving and the woman standing next to me insisted it didn’t work for her.

“Well, I haven’t interviewed you yet,” I said, trying to sound light about it. But really it made me think of a relative who used the phrase, “Well, when I was growing up…” about four times in 20 minutes.

He was talking about all the dangerous things he’d survived as a kid, using his experience as a measure of what he was comfortable with for kids.

Without thinking (certainly without considering the negitive impact this might have on familial relations) I chirped, “I think it’s great how your sample-size of one trumps all.”

But really, isn’t this how we all are?

In some things (knowing my body is different than anyone else’s) this make sense as a directer of choices.

But in other things (say– turning your pack of 8-year-olds loose at the local swimming hole) personal experience shouldn’t override protective sense.

I’m still working at listening well enough to a broader reality that doesn’t match mine, but mostly, I’m trying to learn the difference between the things I should trump and the things (if this is the right term) that should make me fold.

Carpe Diem… Patiently

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Having a long-term perspective for a number of goals (my novel, children, guitar) has resulted in an interesting…dichotomy (if that’s the right word) for me.

As believers we are called to make the most of every opportunity.

I think what can happen as a result of this “only now matters” perspective (which is correct in its own way), is that we can lose our eternal perspective, and even forget it is not our efforts that accomplishes significant things.

I’ve quoted this before, but it fits here too:

“God does not have to depend on human exhaustion to get His work done. God is not so desperate for resources to accomplish His purposes that we have to abandon the raising of our children in order to accommodate Him. God is not so despairing of where to turn next that He has to ask us to go without sleep for five nights in a row. Chronic overloading is not a prerequisite for authentic Christianity. Quite the contrary, overloading is often what we do when we forget who God is.”

“Someone has said, ‘God can do in twenty minutes what it takes us twenty years to do.’ Let’s trust more and do less. Is it busyness that moves mountains…or faith?”.

What I’ve found myself dwelling on more is gratitude at the amount of time we’ve been given.

~ ~ ~

Yes, yes, I know its not guaranteed, or even truly mine, but when time stops for me, I’ll be in eternity so the shortness of what time I had here won’t matter to me.

By being obedient I don’t need to worry about when this will all end. (Look at One Year to Live).

~ ~ ~

What I think of is how many years I have ahead of me to (for example) progress in guitar. When I hit my Silver Anniversary with Jay, I’ll have more than 20-years’ experience in guitar-playing.

Think how many exercises I struggle with now that will be second nature by then!

~

I am challenged now by what and how I will teach my children, but in 10 years they will all be solidly entrenched, and we’ll be doing it.

When I am temped to fear, I remind myself I have nearly two more years to prepare, and many faithful who have gone on before me.

This is a quintessentially doable task.

~

Things that I wish I’d started 20-years ago, as a child, if I actually do start them, will eventually have 20-years of experience behind them.

You can get good at something 20 years.

This is what I think of when I think of having lots of time.

~

I remind myself that goals are to be worked for, and not having abilities instantly is okay, because there is always time.

For those who want to argue my time may be cut short, I’ll simply point out that seeing Jesus face-to-face will more than make up for my not being fluent in Spanish.

Until I am gone I hope to enjoy the world and the wit our Creator gave me, and since my interests, inclinations and abilities can pull at me frantically, this reminder of time is a peaceful way for my patient Heavenly Father to slow me down and help me enjoy where I am now, even as I pursue the next goal.

5-9-07 ETA:
This is my WFMW this week. This idea of allowing myself time to reach my goals is a blessing I wish for other moms “stuck” in the less-productive “nows.”

Try to remember that not everything really needs to be done *Today!* and I think you will find things growing more peaceful.

“We have tomorrow,” and “Morning is wiser than the evening” are both good mantras for those many days when we reach the end of the day before the end of the list.

Practice as Service

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Writing to this blog does take time that could be spent on other, theoretically, productive things, and I have occasionally returned to the question of whether maintaining this site, basically for my own entertainment, it worth that time.

With all my commitments and desires and interests, everything I do continually comes back under scrutiny.

I look at things over and over again, determining why they’re in my life, and whether they are performing their intended function (it’s really easy to throw away magazines in this mood).

Several times this week I’ve used the analogy of a musician practicing scales, when I try to explain my writing, or why I write.

In themselves scales are not particularly beautiful music, and doing them isn’t even for anyone but the musician. But it is those daily exercises that provide the necessary familiarity with the instrument that enables him/her to be an accomplished musician.

My writing may, as I say, be solely for my own entertainment, but everything I do is honing my craft, and preparing me for my next piece.

I no longer question if this writing has value, because I am convinced it does.

Doubtless it was hours and days of David’s “diddly-dorking around” with a sling and stones that prepared him first for the lion and the bear, and ultimately for Goliath.

Practice is a form of faithful service.

It assumes that there is something worth preparing for (a word in season, for example), and rises to that call.

Doing What We Really Want to Do (part 3)

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(Actually writing this down is a little embarrassing. It seems painfully obvious once it’s in print, but here ya go):

My final conclusion: I was right the first time (The second time too– but that wasn’t where I raised the question).

Barring other hardships, we really do do what we want to do. But, if you don’t get something done, that doesn’t have to mean it’s not at all important to you, or that you don’t care about it; it primarily means that you care about something else more.

~ ~ ~

This train of thought started with I’m Stuck, which I wrote after a Sunday School teachers’ meeting where I was fixated the idea that because I don’t do better/more preparation I must not want to. It made me feel that I must either be very undisciplined or simply not value my role of teaching the little children.

Neither of which I felt was quite accurate or fair.

In Getting Un-stuck, I shared a sort of “holding pattern” God led me to while my plane of thought (Oooo– I’m upgrading! Hmm, Or down? Anyway…) circled around to queue up for another attempt at a coherent landing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday I sat down and made a list in one of those SAT, go-with-your-first- instinct sort of ways. Up to this point I think I was putting things into two categories (this is where the trouble in Stuck came from, I believe):

  1. Want to/important to me– I do.
  2. Not important to me/don’t want to do/not interested– I don’t do.

I felt an embarrassing sense that what was important or unimportant to me could be ascertained merely by looking at what I did and didn’t do.

And now I think that is only partially true.

Yesterday I suddenly had three categories (which, technically, was four categories, since I didn’t list anything from the above #2).

I began creating a more finely articulated hierarchy of priorities. Everything on the list was important to me, or I wouldn’t have put it there.

Sunday school came in at tier 3, which was utterly appropriate, even when I came back to think on it more.

  • Tier 1 had to do with our nuclear family, God, and my callings/ability.
  • Tier 2 was those things I’m primary responsible for and/or want to do. They make my daily life more rich and peaceful.
  • Tier 3 was where my periphery interests sit, and the things I do simply because they need to be done.

Jay asked, “So you really put teaching Sunday school lower than doing housework?”

“Well, yes,” I said (having my epiphany). “Home is supposed to come before outside ministry. Putting Sunday school in tier three didn’t lower teaching as much as it raised (emphasized) that housework sits at Tier 2.”

That was one of those needed-to-write-down-to-understand things.

I seem to have a lot of those… But at least I’ve got the mechanism down.