Author Archives: Amy Jane

Legislating Morality

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This is an interesting video by an interesting guy who seems to make things interesting simply by talking fast and on-point.

(I realized recently don’t follow any vlogs largely because this is one of two people I’ve seen able to do both.)

It is entitled, Adorable Puppy Explains Health Care Bill, and in it John makes the impending bill-to-be-reconciled sound quite reasonable. Even the bit about insurance becoming required.

He compares it to car insurance, “Because,” he states, with beautiful and irreducible logic, “your stupid decisions affect people I care about– like me.”

And this, beloved public, is the whole (fully justifiable) point of “legislating morality.”

The same woman who cries, “Keep your laws off my body!” might as well be prepared to hear, “Keep your hand out of my wallet,” because issues of morality (i.e., sin) really do cost us money as a society.

And that was even before activists were looking for public funding of abortion.

Following Orders

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It was Sol Stien who advised the benefit/necessity of looking at one’s whole novel, then cutting the weakest chapter. This leaves the whole remaining work stronger and forces tighter writing.

Then you do it again.  And again. Until you literally cannot do it again without destroying the essence of the story.

Then, I suppose, you move on to doing the same with paragraphs.

My goal (like I said) is to get down another 20,000 words (if at all possible) because I have two scenes I want to experiment with adding (back) in.

And, yes, this number’s arbitrary.  Yes, I’m mostly interested in the book being “the best it can be” but it is useful to look at books I admire, with fully realized relationships and worlds and see that possible in less than 85,000.

There might be a couple holes– I’d want to re-read before naming names here on the blog, but I can’t imagine patching those would have to add 25% to the word-count.

Anyway, my hat’s in the ring.

And if any readers want to leave a vote for most-necessary-to-keep, or candidate best for cutting, I will certainly bring that under consideration.

Another Flurry of Cutting

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Well, I’ve shot my chances of rising early tomorrow, but in a few hours I’ve made a to-do list that tightens my novel and gone from 115,442 words to 101,669.

That’s 54 pages in the Revision #8 cut bits file that I started about 9 p.m. tonight.

My apologies to you dears that are currently reading the longer version.You have my permission to abandon the effort.  Things are changing again.  For the better, I hope.

I’ve been very disciplined in many areas of my life these last several days, and this evening I just lost it: binged on junk food, read a bunch writing/editing blogs and dove into the novel with a knife between my teeth. And my Noveling Pandora station playing. Till Midnight.

My goal is to bring the word count down enough to let me fit a particular prologue with the new opening chapter (a variant of the current chapter 4).  It will most likely necessitate a mirrored postlude, which will need essentially to be crafted from scratch as it is the first-first thing I ever wrote on November 1, 2006.

I’ll probably never dare ask people to read this again, I change so substantially each time, but I know I can’t quit, so on I go.

2010 Books

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Currently Reading: The Princess Adelina (Sutter)

I’ll be trying something different with my mini-reviews this year, putting them in their own posts and tagging them with 2010 Books.  I had too many times last year when I wanted to reference a specific book and found the 2009 books page too big a fish to offer as one bite.

If a book does not incite curiosity or delight
there is no reason outside of requirement to read it.

I’ll not apologize for choosing anything not to finish (though I might offer my reasons).

Also new for 2010 is joining my husband (and our church, for that matter) in working through M’Cheyne’s bible-in-a-year reading plan.  I have never finished one of these, but it feels just a tiny bit like NaNoWriMo to plan/imagine doing something challenging in concert with a herd of people I know and love.

So Many New Things

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New things to be, to do, to try.

Reminders of things I’m not, I can’t, or am afraid of.

I mentioned a while back that my world has changed significantly in the last 6 months.

Isn’t it interesting (she said with an eye-roll) that no matter how much changes, there is still more to do.  But then, according to some people, if we got it all figured out we’d be done living.

I say I’d be willing to test that theory.

Since June I have:

  • Achieved and maintained a healthy weight (nearly 3 months at goal, now).
  • Learned loads of new recipes
  • Established a baseline for homeschooling
  • Begun extra-curricular activities for the children
  • Learned that I am capable of discipline and a species of consistency
  • Learned that I respond well to a clear plan

I have not:

  • come up with any effective laundry system (we still need two weeks worth of clothes per person)
  • established a regular “creative” time with the kids
  • retained the motivation to follow one of my beautifully thoughtful schedules more than two days in a row
  • ingrained how to spell RECIPE with only one ‘i’

~ ~ ~

Sitting on the edge of a new year I’m aching again to craft the perfect document that will for once keep me on-track through this hack at a new beginning.

I’d been toes-off-the-edge-of-the-diving-board several days when God brought me Sunday to this passage in Deuteronomy 7 :

17 “If you say to yourself, ‘These nations are greater than I; how can I drive them out?’ 18 do not be afraid of them. Be sure to remember what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and all Egypt: 19 the great trials that you saw, the signs and wonders, the strong hand and outstretched arm, by which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you fear. 20 The LORD your God will also send the hornet against them until all the survivors and those hiding from you perish.  21 Don’t be terrified of them, for the LORD your God, a great and awesome God, is among you. 22 The LORD your God will drive out these nations before you little by little. You will not be able to destroy them all at once; otherwise, the wild animals will become too numerous for you.  23 The LORD your God will give them over to you and throw them into great confusion until they are destroyed. 24 He will hand their kings over to you, and you will wipe out their names under heaven. No one will be able to stand against you; you will annihilate them.”

God, on the power of his reputation, is assuring His people that nothing needs to intimidate them.

He has a plan that ends with all objects of intimidation being removed; but it’s not quickly, and not because He lacks the power.

22 The LORD your God will drive out these nations before you little by little. You will not be able to destroy them all at once; otherwise, the wild animals will become too numerous for you.

I think of all the faults, flaws and failings I want gone. NOW.

Then in the back of my mind is the story of the fellow who was freed, only to end up worse than before.

If (as I’ve tried in New Years past) I attempt too many changes at once I will, best case synario, fail at some rather than all.

At worst I cease to maintain even that which I’ve wrestled into reality.

I believe God was showing me his “order of operations” and generously sharing His reasons. I believe God promises victory over all that would make His people ineffective, but also that he’ll not give me “lands” faster than I can maintain them.

It’s a twist, I suppose, on the old line about God not giving us more than we can handle; I just never thought of freedom(s) in quite that way.

…The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in.

Looking to the New Year

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I’ve never thought before about how many times the year “begins” for me.

Of course there is January 1st.  But there is also my birthday, April 24th (the day snow is “guaranteed” to be gone from most usable surfaces), that magical moment in pre-spring when I feel the increase in daily light that makes the impossible happen.

There is also the arrival of summer and it’s continual light followed by the beginning of the school year (Where I’ve begun buying new calendars).

But this beginning is the beginning I share with my whole culture, and it is a different kind of beginning, one where everyone seems ready to self-analyze, and maybe even try something new.

In this way I aught to feel closer and more in tune with my fellow humans than at any other time in the year.

Though, one of the things I learned this year is that similarities shouldn’t be presumed upon to function oppositely of disagreements.

That is, just because disagreements automatically strain a relationship that doesn’t mean similarities will create warm-fuzzies.  (I have to be reminded of this, perhaps because I so rarely feel similar to anyone.)  There are those who gather a sense of identity in their perceived uniqueness, and so when I (in an effort to highlight similarity) essentially point-out how un-unique they are, they feel threatened.

And, honestly, I understand the feeling perfectly.  I have to fight the almost-jealousy myself at times, but it’s good for me (and good for them if they’ll let it be) to be reminded that none of us is as unique as we think we are.  After all, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” It get’s me away a little from a false or inaccurate sense of self-value.

Closer to the rest of humanity because analysis and new beginnings are the places I so often live.  I’m not so unique. ;)

2009 Book Wrap-up

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Well, I didn’t even try to hook into any of the reading “challenges” floating around the web, despite referencing two of them on my own blog.

In the final analysis, I read 26 novels.  The count was encouraging, considering how few of those were in the last third of the year.  In my opening description on my 2009 Books page I said:

My goals for reading this year involves consuming copious amounts of books that wouldn’t nearly compare to more spiritual/applicable works, except that they’re part of the necessary education toward my (felt) calling of writing.  (See #5 here)

~

So reading YA Fantasy really is appropriate… and finally, (as a result of that realization) I’m no longer embarrassed to say what I’m reading.

But I tripped off the reading of novels when another need arose (usually to do with Homeschooling, food/weight loss, or relationships), and looking back I can see that *most* of that reading involved using books (as I like to say) as talismans; to reassure myself and/or ease anxiety (I did not record all of these).

I don’t think they were all bad or a waste of time, but I’m sure some of them were.  I’m not entirely sure how to prevent repeating the behavior next year, but maybe being aware will be useful.

~

Without further ado, the complete list/page of what I want to remember:

2009 Books

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Things that made me grin, or think.

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Sorry if I’ve posted these before (and maybe they’re not so funny out of the context of the novel).  I was re-reading some of my novel today (man there’s always something more to fix, isn’t there) and wanted to share a couple spots that still make me laugh.

From Chapter 19 – Appeal to the Prince (My discovery of condonation was for this chapter.)

“So it was as we hoped!” The prince’s voice was eager. “The tales have come true and the right woman has all that power, has she?” He flushed then, darting a glance at his bride, but the princess never looked up from her horse’s mane.

“Sire,” said Tykone uncomfortably, “it is closer to the stories then you may perhaps like. “I informed the Frej Kennett that he is your twin, and possibly the elder son of your house.” Tykone ducked only just in time. Rickard’s gauntleted fist swished above his head, knocking off his leather cap.

Tykone rolled easily under the prince’s horse and popped to his feet before leaning around the front of the horse to look at Rickard’s enraged expression. “That was very nearly the answer I got from him, but he was quicker. I wouldn’t want to be stuck between you.”

Continue reading »

It’s Still There…

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I have been thankful how easy it is not to stress over what’s (not) happening with my novel.

I have reached the conclusion that I cannot do the next/final clean-up piecemeal.  For the sake of continuity (and other issues I have identified with the text) I’ve decided I absolutely have to have a serious “work week” where I work the novel from start to finish.

So naturally I have to wonder am I just sick of it and happy to move on, since I’m not even talking about it any more.  Then I got to talk it a bit today with someone (I don’t meet many people in real life who want to hear me talk stories, so I was pleased to get a chance to talk about something interesting).

I explained a purposeful contrast between men (and how I tried to illustrate their differing character) by how they took care of a toddler:

Kennett, the “hero,” and a good man, carries his adopted son on his shoulders and remembers to stoop as he goes through a doorway.  Ivan, who wants to think of himself as a good man, scoops up a child on his way out the door and just *nails* the boy’s head on the lintel.
These are on opposite ends of the story, so I don’t know if anyone will notice the direct contrast.

But even though that kind of conversation used to set me back onto my novel in the next hour, I actually forgot about the story until this evening when I set down to try and update the family blog a bit.  I turned on Pandora and picked my “noveling” station (since that is not something I’ll play with the children around).

And, wow.  I am conditioned. (Yes I know I’ve mentioned this before.)

I was nearly in my writing trance before I realized I was going under.  I let myself listen to a couple songs before I decided I didn’t want to inoculate myself and switched stations.

But now I’m stoked and actually have to make myself go to bed.  It is a genuine relief that (it appears) at the right time I will be able to return with a relatively small transition.

Liquid Mercury

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Perhaps that designation is redundant.

I still remember when I was 13 or so, and watching one of the boys in my class chasing a bead of mercury around his desk, and rolling it in his palm.  I remember looking at that tight drop of silver and trying to wrap my mind around the idea that *metal* was doing that.

And now I find myself in a life-stage that seems very like that bead.

I am solid, I am “held together,” but I’m also moving quicker than I expected in unplanned directions.  Things that have been givens forever are now in flux.

  • I am a reader. I read like crazy, and always have a story, anecdote or factual information about, well, anything that might come up.
    • But I haven’t finished a book in 2 months.
  • I’m a writer.
    • But I write very little these days
  • I am a musician.  I find both identity and peace in music
    • But I am not dedicated in practice, and have let opportunities pass with relief
  • For 30 years I didn’t think or care care much about what went in my mouth, now in 5 months I’ve completely overhauled my eating habits.
  • And my exercise-life.

And of course there’s more, but that stuff is actually personal.

The point is, you ask me– yesterday, today or tomorrow– what I’m like or who I am (or is this who I am) and I honestly believe it would be truth to say “yes.”

I am not who I was, but it is not yet clear who I will be.

This is like adolescence + maturity. Not a fearful thing, only a happening thing.  One I have been quietly reassured by ladies not-much-older-than-me is as normal in personal development as any other stage of Finding Oneself.

Only, here (at this age and life-stage) especially, I cannot forget that it is in Losing Self that I am found.

The delightful– and peace-offering– element in the midst of this is that I am far from unique in this flowing uncertainty:

Dear friends, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet been revealed. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him as He is.

1 John 3:2

This, most of all, is what I’m looking forward to.  My uncertainty is a terrifically small thing when Christ is what, whom, I’m rolling toward.