Back in Compliance Again

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So I started reading Stein on Writing last night (Hi Kaye).

My husband was reading Eragon and occasionally gave me updates on inconsistencies and mapping problems he said evidenced the author’s inexperience (i.e., his youth). Jay’s still enjoying the story, though.

I haven’t read it yet (picked it up at the used-book store and Jay got it first.)

After his comment about rivers running up-hill I submitted a plea that he draw me a map of my story. I don’t know how big a sin it is, but I have no image of my story’s land, and, as my husband has noted before in frustration, I’m not a natural at reading them either.

Basically the reading confirmed my theory that my Lindorm story is primarily plot-driven rather than character-driven. Especially after the characterization chapters, I’ve decided that I’m going to re-start my novel and write it character-driven instead.

This will mean I’m following the rules again (new work on November 1), give me a new angle, and assuming it goes to the same conclusion (something for which I suppose I have no guarantee) I expect to combine the two versions– which I hope will allow me to reach my goal of having a completed (entire) first draft.

The interesting thing to me is that as my characters have fleshed out they beg for new and bigger parts. I think the folktale structure will survive, but it will be richer and more reasonable. I already have parts where my characters are very transparent, but as I’ve never focused specifically on character as I’m writing, that’s what I want to do this time.

Novel Prep Exercise #1

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Theoretically I was supposed to do this at the NaNo meeting this afternoon, but I got off on the inconcrete randomness of happenings instead of staying focussed on my main Character, so for anybody who wondered: Yes, I am doing NaNoWriMo again this year, but it will be to finish the novel I started last year.

(Competition is good for me– and I like to get this 1st-draft stage over with quickly).

Main Character Exercise

  • Main character’s name: Linnea
  • One-Sentence Summary of MC’s storyline: A crippled weaver finds out after she marries her prince that a powerful djinn holds a grudge against her new family and is working to destroy them.
  • MC’s motivation (what she wants abstractly): Peace and security
  • MC’s goal (what she wants concretely): to protect her children and confirm her husband’s innocence
  • MC’s conflict (what keeps her from reaching this goal): miscommunication and the djinn’s active interference
  • MC’s epiphany (what she learns/how she changes): Action and inaction are both choices, and learning who to trust can mean the difference between life and death.
  • One-Paragraph summary of MC’s storyline:
    • Linnea marries her prince and begins “blending” a family, but her happily ever after is disrupted when her husband leaves to help rescue a kidnapped family member. While he is away a letter with his seal orders her execution. Escaping with her children she hides in the forest and meets the djinn who arraigned the kidnapping, seeking to eliminate the royal family. In a series of confrontations Linnea must decide whether to get involved, and how to destroy the djinn’s threat.

What a Privilege!

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As much as needing air and being subject to gravity, or being able to bleed, it seems that one of the inevitable things about being human on this earth is that we all must be stretched.

We all are made uncomfortable in some way that forces us to acknowledge our personal inadequacy for the task at hand. Because I’m a Christian I believe this is so that (ultimately) we may learn the inexhaustible resources that are in Christ.

For some people their trials are actual suffering, for some it is mental anguish, and for some (usually of a particular age) it is less-than-perfect skin. The spectrum of what may “throw” us is enormous. We each have our own burdens to bear.

Just yesterday I was thinking of this, as I (nearly) ignored my children while fighting 1/3 of my house into shape. At this point in my life the challenges I face– the thing that stretches me most– is mothering three young children and maintaining my home. And learning to do those things no matter how I feel.

More than the house (because my gracious husband will understand my “letting it go” for a time) is the always-on of my children, and seeking a balance between meeting their needs and teaching them how to meet their own needs.

When I think (especially this time of year) about believers who are persecuted for their faith, or those with cancer, or of being forced by necessity to live with a job one hates, I find myself so *thankful* that this is the challenge God has chosen for me in this season of my life.

What a privilege to have the greatest challenge in my life be also one of my greatest joys!

The Difference Between Joy and Passion

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(This will be one of those “for me” posts that may untangle someone else’s thoughts as well, but is mostly for my own benefit.)

About a month ago I read a reference to a book called The Renaissance Soul. I popped over to my library’s reserves page (have I mentioned yet I *love* that they’re on-line?) and snagged the next available copy.

It is a mouthful, and takes some chewing (and sifting– as it’s such a broad topic and she tries to cover everything), but it has been helpful in several ways.

First of all, the acknowledgment (that I always fought for) that I’m not weird, just different, and don’t have to have ADD just because I have more than one or two things I love to do.

Second, with that understanding as the foundation, the author (a renaissance soul herself) suggests tools techniques for

  • Narrowing your foci to a manageable number (usually four), with the emphasis on not being locked in forever providing the psychological freedom to be truly present for these passions, this season.
  • strategies for staying focused in this season (when you’ve been in the frustrating habit of popping from project to project– almost as though you couldn’t help it) and
  • time-management for people with more than one passion.

When I started reading this book I followed the directions and made a list of everything I could think of that I loved and/or wanted to spend time and thought on.

Then, following the advice of the book, I went back through the list and whittled it down to my top four passions. Lobenstine emphasizes that your daily work (unless you feel it meeting one of your four focus points) should not take one of the four.

This troubled me as a homemaker and a mother, because, well, don’t we want to be passionate about our children and how they are raised?

The next day I was still pondering this when I met a friend and was telling her about my four focus points. I think I was seeking affirmation that I wasn’t being unbiblical in making these distinctions– putting writing on my list, for example, but not preschool planning.

“Being a mom is my job– my good work– but it isn’t my passion,” I said, searching for the right word, while the new vocabulary (“passion”) still sounded new and unnatural. My friend is married to a renaissance soul herself, and seemed to understand what I was saying.

“It’s not your passion,” she confirmed. “It is your joy.”

The relief I felt at having a new word! It filled in the missing piece for me.

Continue reading »

When you’ve got a reputation…

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I’ve mentioned here before that “plain speaking” is my default position.

In my interactions with “real” people, however, I actually try to use that “story-sense” I mentioned earlier in order to match the level of openness in the person I’m talking with.

Only, I’ve had at least one situation where I wondered if my attempt at sensitivity backfired.

Some time ago I got a call from a woman who had been through a recent personal tragedy. She wanted to come over and visit, saying we hadn’t talked in a long time. This was true enough, but I was surprised she felt a loss in that.

I called my husband and asked him to be praying for our interaction because I didn’t know this woman well, and didn’t want to, well, accidentally hurt her. I feared she was fragile.

He gave me a handful of good reminders that activated all my attentiveness and I was the perfect hostess. As our children played together I let her guide the conversation and was careful to look for clues in what she did and didn’t say. She stayed longer than I had expected her to, but when she left I still had a sad feeling we missed something important.

Evaluating it later with my husband (and even now, still) I wondered if she’d come to me wanting me to bring up the “unspeakable” because I was someone who’s known for speaking plainly. What if what I considered my huge liability (that might even hurt her) was the one thing she sought me out for?

I prayed for her a lot after that– that she would find what she needed if she didn’t get it from me. And I’ve prayed for wisdom in future interactions like these, that I would be able to (sensitively!) test the waters and be sure I know what a visitor needs from me.

In all, it’s made me think again about what gentle sensitivity looks like.

Story-sense

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The sense (usually from long familiarity) of what’s about to happen in a particular series or genre of stories. Examples range from guessing who’s going to end up with whom in a romance, to guessing how the detective will solve a crime, sometimes before s/he does.

In its most-refined form it applies the general principles of creative storytelling, and imagining what could be, to extrapolate the next thing in less formulaic stories or even real-life.

I have a highly developed story-sense. Which is funny to say because it doesn’t “turn on” automatically. There are times I’m so observant it seems unnatural, and other times when I’m nearly oblivious.

Unfamiliar or threatening situations provoke the most scrutiny, and in that way (as for the zebra storyteller) story-sense has been very useful to me

The “Hidden Rules” of Moms’ Groups

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The presentation I mentioned a month ago had a lot of blog-worthy ideas– to the point of over-load. So I never took it anywhere. Recently one element has come up and I spent some time thinking on it while trying to sort myself out.

Hidden rules was the resurrected element. The authors of Bridges out of Poverty describe how every human group has unwritten rules that all “true” members of the group follow, just because they are a part of the group; sometimes to keep the peace and to prove they belong to the group.

When different groups collide, or a person is new to a group, mistakes can be made that damage relationship– not because the offending party desires to offend, but because s/he doesn’t recognize the land-mines.

In a spirit of community-service and a healthy effort to avoid future explosions, I have compiled the following list.

I must point out that some of these will seem infinitely *duh!* to some of you, and my pride compels me to say I did not learn all of these the hard way. But All of them are based on interactions I’ve observed since my first moms’ group two years ago.

Some might just get you a cold shoulder or a nasty look, and (adding to the confusion) people with similar strengths– e.g. a good marriage– tend to overlook similar rules as unnecessary.

If you know them all without thinking, Congrats! You’re already “in”.

I have never spent a lot of time with groups of women. I’ve always been the “loner” (the type with just a couple close friends), never one to run with “the herd.” In high school this had its uses, but it also inhibited my picking up some key rules.

My current collection of The hidden rules of Mothers’ Groups (mostly what you shouldn’t do), beginning with “The things I can’t say:”

  • “I really have to be careful about what I say when I’m with you.”
    • Says “You don’t understand me.” or “I can’t be myself around you.”
  • “Wow, you raise your kids really differently than I do.” (Not a criticism!!!)
    • Any comment that’s not a complement or asking for advice can make people defensive.
  • “That time/activity doesn’t work for me.”
    • Can make it sound (arrogantly) like I and my availability carry some great weight.
      • This is tricky because on the one hand I’m supposed to be quiet rather than negative, but other I’m supposed to participate. One of many balancing acts.
  • “Hanging out with a group is not my most favorite thing to do– even if it is a break away from the kids.” (Did say this one once– to a very cold reception).
    • They could’ve heard, “I don’t enjoy being with *this* group,” which, for me at least, isn’t true, since I wouldn’t be there. ;)
      • Should treat it like a date: i.e. don’t let on there’s anywhere else you’d rather be.
    • It can be taken as devaluing those who find getting-away is their favorite recreational activity.
  • Anything to contradict a contradiction. It’s like a white elephant gift exchange. You can only turn things around so many times or it looks ugly– like you’re fighting or something.
    • It’s too bad people have a hard time disagreeing without taking offense. Too often the rejection of an idea is taken as a rejection of the individual or her experience (see “contradicting experience” below) and there’s no ‘clean’ way to do it.
  • Any unsolicited advice when someone is under pressure. Continue reading »

Heroism Speech

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Seeing as I loved it, I’m linking it.  Since a number of you seem to find my interests intriuging enough to look into as well, I offer Heroes in Storytelling by Barbara Nicoloski.

It is the outline of a speech given by a Catholic scriptwriter (Nicoloski).  Good stuff and some good writing prompts– especially when you get down to sections 8 (“The world needs from us:”) and… 8 (“Let’s create a hero story”).

Definitely got me thinking some more.  I appreciated her thoughts greatly.