The post to young mothers (about their husbands providing them a break) was written under a cloud of inspiration and attitude.
I’ve mentioned before how much I thrive on positivity, and how I left a mom’s group once because they were too negative. The way this was typically manifested was in complaints about their lot as SAHMs and their husbands:
- Griping about their men wanting to know when they’d be back from a once-a-month outing (Sorry Ma’am, that baby’s going to be even less interested in that bottle– or that dad– if she only sees it once a month– give it time).
- Complaining that SAHMs take in poorer nutrition than their “working” counterparts: “Do you really think you can live well off of PB&J crusts?” (No. That’s why I avoid those.)
- “He never volunteers to help with the baby.” (Does the baby do anything but cry when Daddy holds him? Talk about rejection. Who signs-up for that? Give him some strategies!)
Then there was the cap-all,
- Sure, her husband gave her a weekend (!) out of town with her girlfriends, but she could tell from all the boxes when she got home they must have had pizza every night, and he certainly hadn’t done any laundry while they were away, leaving her with this ungodly amount of work to do. Did he think all she did all day was watch the kids?
I felt so sad for that man. Here he’d bravely stepped forward (or maybe he was dumped-on, I forget), covered for her, and it wasn’t good enough.
My goal was to provide an alternative to complaining. Yes, I know some people just need to vent, but lets not sear our husbands in public, please!
I know a number of men who are just *amazing* with children. I know others (like my husband) who are very good. I also know my husband had to learn this skill. I think it’s safe to assume most people have to learn it.
Sometimes the first children a man interacts with are his own, and I strongly believe a mother who will encourage her husband in this new venture will have better success that one who criticizes him.
The intent of the post wasn’t to say all men need our refined (or clumsy) help to be competent fathers. Its purpose was to provide seeds of thought for wives who want specific ideas for helping their husbands in that area.