Category Archives: Depression

Um, about that early-rising thing…

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I just noticed that How I Started Rising Early is now one of my most-visited posts, and I felt, in the interests of “full disclosure” (or, at least, not desiring to mislead anyone), I wanted to add that I haven’t been consistently “rising early” all the months since I wrote that.

Not even most of them.

When I quit going to bed as I needed to (Important Item #3 on the how-to), I grew too tired to continue rising early, and I went back to my old habits.

I also realize, looking back now, that I went through a mild depression when my youngest weaned.

I don’t think I’ll ever know if it was because I got “off hormones” for the first time in over five years (I’ve been either pregnant or nursing a baby since April of ’02) or if it was my version of SAD with the diminishing light complicating things, but basic-level functioning was a challenge, and even thinking of early rising was merely masochistic; not at all helpful.

I definitely believe there are some seasons better than others for starting this if you’re not naturally inclined this way.

It’s only been in my latest re-ordering of activities and (I suppose) priorities that I’ve begun rising early again.

Again, I have to wonder how much this is related to the light returning after a dark-winter season– but I don’t know how much it can affect things when I’m still not getting much daylight till almost 9 a.m.

In 23 years I can’t remember light leaving being detrimental, but I celebrate its return with great notice. I love how it seems to grow faster than it left– like the sun is just as glad to be back as we are to have it.

But, again, the early rising “thing” being successful is through the provision of our good God.

I woke coherent (despite bedtime) at 5 a.m. for almost a week before I figured it out. I think God was suggesting I start my early mornings again.

So for several days now I’ve considered my early mornings a gift. Sometimes I lie awake enjoying the quiet, but usually I get up and spend an hour or more to myself.

My only must-do is three chapters from the bible, then I can just glaze- over or do whatever. I love the freedom of knowing I’m not “robbing” anyone (including myself) to do “nothing” during these hours.

Tonic for the “drags”

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I don’t know what everybody else calls it. I talk about someone being in a funk. I say I’m feeling “dragy.” Basically it’s that not- feeling-like-doing-anything that isn’t (I think) quite depression.

I was brainstorming about useful things to do when “down in the dumps” (another descriptor), and was surprised with how much I came up with. (This originally began as a comment elsewhere). So here’s my list of tips:

  • Put on “happy music,” whatever that is for you.
    • I found my happy music was the stuff I listened to in High School or college and hadn’t heard in a long time. It brought me a startling joy.
    • Pick music from a light era of yours.
    • A book I’ve been reading recently describes the reason books get fatter as you read them is because it preserves a part of you between the pages– like a pressed plant– the you that was, at the time you read it, and you see that former self whenever you re-read. That’s the way of me and music too.
    • ETA: Classical or folk instrumentals collected for children are a fantastic pick-me-up.

My dad loaned me the “Rhythmically Moving” series from his classroom for the summer– my kids had heard something on the radio they’d wanted to hear again.

I put the first one on while I was stressed-out and racing to finish dinner. Almost instantly I had to laugh. My mind was rebelling at the cognitive dissonance between my mood and the atmosphere. It was nearly like being in a river and resisting being moved by it.

Didn’t “fix” my stress, but it made me smile, even laugh, and that had to be healthy.

  • Start a new book, even if you haven’t finished your current one.
    • Anything you’re interested in will do, as long as you don’t feel obligated to finish it if it doesn’t suit you.
    • It may take a couple tries to find the right fit. (Write me if you want suggestions ;-))
    • This is where Books-on-tape are so essential to me now– with the three little ones I frequently feel I’m stealing from them to sit and read a whole novel.
  • Read “Good Poems” or Poem a Day V. 1.
    • Both of those are great for finding concise (no pages-long), interesting poems.
    • I’ve found the right poems to be tonic to me, because they were a sort of deep-thought pizza: Delivering filling new ideas and ways of looking at things, sparing me the effort of looking (cooking) for myself.
    • Very good for when I’m tired and can’t focus on longer or “more meaningful” works.
  • Do mindless research about something that interests you but you can’t act on.
      • I read about new-born and toddler care while I was pregnant the first time.
      • Last fall (after Grandma died) I started reading a lot about dogs. Still do, occasionally– though I won’t be able to get one until the end of April. Or later.
    • I found this activity helpful because engaged my mind without the obligation to do more. I couldn’t/can’t do more at the time of the research.

These probably won’t pull you out of a funk (If you can get the energy to clean, the activity and the result very frequently can), but they will help you tread water while you’re there. Sort of help keep you afloat.

There are those times when that’s all you’re looking for.