Met My Audience Today

I had the delight this evening of talking with a handful of Magic-playing “nerds” at the library.

Actually they started the Nerd v. Geek discussion a couple times, but ultimately said it was fine to call them nerds.

They were at the next table while I waited for other SCBWI members who never arrived. When a chair opened up I impulsively grabbed my character-list and (after verifying they were fantasy-readers) asked their opinion on the readability (and confusablity) of the names.

I got some useful feedback, and from the list began telling a corner of the story.

They were hooked, and I can’t say how exciting it was for me as a storyteller to have them hanging on and asking intelligent, clarifying questions.

One boy in particular was tracking very closely and made a couple connections on his own, which assured me of the story’s internal (fantasy) logic.

Jay said I should take the first few chapters back next week for them to read, and I think I will. The idea of instant feedback from my target-audience is very attractive.

Yes, they said they’d like to read it.

I’m currently trying to decide if there are any drawbacks.

Not Just Staying Home (Part 2 of 2)

Sometimes I think that if I didn’t have other things (reading, writing, storytelling, music, teaching) in addition to keeping my home I probably wouldn’t enjoy “staying home,” but it’s only partially true.

My best analogy just now is to electricity. I’ve proven I can live contentedly without it, with the right attitude, but life is (forgive me) so much easier to enjoy with than without, I see no compelling reason to stretch myself that way.

Thankfully, God hasn’t asked me to do without these things I enjoy, and He’s shown me their place in my life just now: mixed with my children or spread thinly around the edges.

He’s also given me a “vision” (as it were) of their possibilities in the years to come.

This is where reminders such as that late chapter in Home by Choice are encouraging to me; they show my now-locked (think: land-locked) mind the possibilities once I reach the “coast” of empty-nesting.

I can touch and look at water in lakes, pools and streams now, but my current job doesn’t allow me to live by the ocean. I remind myself to be content in the wait because I know this job will eventually be over, whether I want it to be or not.

Hearing stories about women who fulfilled their second callings second helps me remain patient and content. I am such a *now* person I need the now stories of others to assure me I can wait for the train to arrive.

~

This doesn’t mean I am just hanging on until my kids are grown. It means that I have the same double vision in my home life as I have in my spiritual life.

All of we who are waiting for an eternal and infinitely better kingdom are only doing a good job if we are also doing everything in our power to equip ourselves and our children to live well in this one.

As a mother I am aware both of my present time with my children, and that it is not an end in itself.

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Not Just Staying Home (Part 1 of 2)

A recent conversation— sparked by my recommendation of this book— has made me think about a paradox I feel in my life. (I wonder how many women share this feeling/awareness…):

I am a huge cheerleader for moms staying at home to care for their families (and I unreservedly think it’s God’s “best plan,” along with two-parent families and living debt-free), but I don’t think it’s the be-all, end-all of my life.

And I don’t think this contradicts scripture.

For one thing, my life doesn’t end when they leave, and that, combined with the fact that God continually grows us, leads me to the conclusion he’s got plans for me beyond my time home with them.

I think they are the most important assignment I will ever have, but they are just one part of my life, not the whole thing.

This is what makes me think my desire to write is more than a distraction. I believe it is a part of me, useful in my parenting journey, that will not be fully explored until my first assignment is fulfilled.

But this awareness of– what can I call it?– a life beyond (within?) my role as a home-keeper, left me feeling hobbled in an uncomfortable conversation I recently got caught in.

I was subjected to… not outright derision at me and my career choice, but snarky jabs at women who do what it looks like I do.

For the first time in my life I think I understand what wounded feminists are trying to label “The Patriarchy,” and the bruises inflicted by subtle racism.

I am fairly sure this was not meant to be mean in a conscious way. It was a mouth speaking out of the overflow of his heart.

Apparently I have lived an *amazingly* sheltered 28+ years.

Among other things, I heard that overused refrain about women who are lost once their children are gone and *need* someone to nurture but there’s no one left.

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A Balanced Approach to “Modesty”

Terry at Ornaments of Grace has a nice post about considering our clothing choices, but not in a leagalistic manner.

I laughed out-loud and knew I had to link when I read this:

I AM NOT giving up my jeans without a direct revelation from the Lord.

For the record, my standards might be even “looser” than hers, as I don’t feel a need to wear longer shirts or other clothes that conceal my figure (such as it is). She suggests tunic-length tops as a compromise for pants-wearing folks.

Me, I’m heavily influenced by a memory of my parents (one quoting the other) saying they liked it when a woman looked like a woman. And they weren’t talking about wearing dresses all the time.

I can only echo what I know every balanced person has concluded on this topic: it is about what people see and what you project, but it’s also about what’s in your heart.

Do You Gross-Out Easily?

Today in Sunday school the teacher was emphasizing that we can’t change ourselves. Only God can change us.

And of course (hey it’s my season) I immediately thought of diaper changes.

And it’s a pretty good comparison. Every analogy falls apart somewhere, but this one made me think a while.

Little babies can’t change their own diapers (I don’t care how brilliant they are. It ain’t happenin’). And require this outside “interference” in their day to keep them sanitary.

And for those of you get squeamish when you start thinking about that *really* GROSS stuff you can find in a baby diaper: black, tar-like meconium, mustard-yellow runny stuff (that can make for a great/bad joke with a deli sandwich) diarrhea that escapes the diaper and sticks to everything else and— Amy Jane are you trying to gross-out everyone who actually reads these words?

Actually, yeah. Only I didn’t expect it to be that effective with my readers.

The point is that I hope to suggest the response God has to our sin.

Our disgust at the grossest (I’ll quit trying to describe it) diaper blow-out you can imagine is nothing compared to the response of our Holy God to the filth of our sin.

We wrinkle our noses, touch as little as possible, generate extra trash, and discuss with anybody (or nobody) present about what we’ll have to do to get that clean.

And Sin isn’t something we can get clean.

Is there pure lying? Is there cleaned-up covetousness? Is there acceptable adultery?

That all these have been excused by somebody doesn’t mean God cleared them.

He can’t stand these things.

~ ~ ~

So, for those of you at the diaper-changing stage of life, the next time you get a “package” that curls your toes, I hope you thank God for His perfect sacrifice, that made it possible for him to look on us, and change us, to be more like him.

And if we’re not there, maybe we should ask to be “potty-trained,” if you will, to treat sin with the disgust it deserves.  (Hey, I already said the analogy has to break-down somewhere.)

Loveliness Fair: Staying Connected Edition

My article defending “movie dates” is a part of the Loveliness Fair: staying connected edition. The fair is being hosted by Sarah at Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering.

Sarah has woven a thoughtful collection of quotes and scriptures with individuals’ submissions that describe ways those individuals stay connected in their marriages.

I am not Catholic, and not at all likely to convert (sorry, Catholic friends), but I regularly read a number of Catholic blogs because I am encouraged by the organic inclusion of faith and family that colors so much they choose to write about.

If there is one thing that buries my heart, tempts me toward discontent, and puts mud in the cogs of my life, it’s absorbing the worldly idea that husbands, children and home are some sort of “satellite” to my real life (internal or otherwise), rather than part of its core.

I appreciate tracking with people who put family in the proper place.

It’s sort of like hanging out with folks who cook “healthy” without having to think about it.

I figure do reasonably well for my family (especially considering we live in Alaska), but then I go visit people in my own town who are so much better at it than me, and I see what more can be done.

I don’t always want to hear it, and sometimes it is too overwhelming to try and think about one. more. thing. But to get to know “real” people who are doing it is consistently encouraging.

Blogs I read that (I know) are written by Catholics (along with Sarah’s, that I linked above) include:

Specialized Vocabulary

I am working on a short fairy tale to submit for publication (sort of a breather from the novel, you might say).

Naturally the language is how I would tell it.

So I went through it with my Children’s Writer’s Word Book checking the words I guess to be more challenging than the others.

I was thinking I was doing alright, those iffy words were all acceptable at a 3rd- or 4th-grade level (and I wouldn’t want to force it lower than that), until I got to enchanted.

As in, “enchanted castle.”

Enchant is designated a 6th-grade word.

I called Natasha over and asked her if she knew what the word meant.

“Um, magic?” Good enough for me. Naturally I added my own bit (“Generally magic controlling something, but good.”)

I told her, “This book says you have to be 12 to know that word.”

She looked at the ceiling and laughed quietly. (It’s nap time so the other kids are asleep.)

“You can be four too,” she said, obviously pleased with herself.

Natasha’s already asked for it to be read aloud 3 or 4 times (there are no pictures yet, of course) so naturally that makes my mama-heart soar.

I checked the rest of the manuscript, but it looks like that’s the most challenging thing in there, so I think this thing’s ready enough to start sifting through publishers to look for a match.

ETA:  This is the level of folktale/picture book I’ve been reading to my girls since the oldest was 3 or 4 (the little sis was still more of a “Mother Goose” girl at the time).

Now my 5-year-old reads them to her 3 1/2-year-old sister.

And the reads in the last paragraph is real, see-the-pictures-and-the-words expressive reading.  (Ask me how I know if you need to.)
Reading aloud to your children is a powerful thing.

Movie Quotes (Quiz and Answers)

Finally getting around to this.

Most of my readers know memes are a very. low. priority for me, but I enjoy quotes so this was a natural fit and I knew I’d eventually do it.

Picked this up from Thoughts of a Wannabe whom I met through the Ultimate Blog Party.

The rules:
1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. I’ll re-post this with all the answers in a week or so.
5. No Googling or IMDb-ing. That’s cheating, and that’s no fun!

*Answers are now listed at the bottom of the post if you need help.*

Mouse-over the space between quotes and highlight the line to see the answer.

These aren’t all from my top-10 movies, but the lines are all those that still cause a reaction, even when I’ve seen or thought of them a number of times.

  1. [to the baby in his arms] I was forced to recite that poem when I was a lad. I have no idea what it means, but why should I be the only one to suffer?
  2. Amazing Grace

  3. A: Then you kidnapped me!
    B: Why would I kidnap…?
    A: I have no idea. You’re the criminal mastermind, not me.
    B: What?!
    A: You’re right. That’s giving you way too much credit.
  4. The Emperor’s New Groove

  5. [Narration] The trial of Jerome Gribben was the social event of the season. The judge in the case was the venerable Judge Zadic. Judge Zadic was totally incompetent, but being a Judge nobody had noticed.
  6. Hallmark’s Arabian Nights (Not Kid-friendly. Think pushing the boundaries of PG-13)

  7. A: You think you’re smarter than we are.
    B: Oh, not much.
  8. Undercover Blues

  9. Over my dead body. (Life-or-death situation.)
  10. Enchanted (The line is so familiar I was surprised I couldn’t place it from any other movie.)

  11. Some feel that to court a woman in one’s employ is nothing more than a serpentine effort to transform a lady into a whore.
  12. Kate and Leopold

  13. The only way to find out what story you’re in is to determine what stories you’re not in. Odd as it may seem, I’ve just ruled out half of Greek literature, seven fairy tales, ten Chinese fables, and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein’s Monster, or a golem. Hmm? Aren’t you relieved to know you’re not a golem?
  14. Stranger Than Fiction

  15. Man: And uh… hey, while I think about it, how bout, uh, marryin’ me?
    Woman: Gracious! What’d I want to marry you for?
    Man: Uh, well, I dunno, couldn’t you maybe think up some reason why you might?
  16. Oklahoma! (The London version is the one worth watching.)

  17. American: I’m sorry, I don’t speak English.
    African gunman: You are speaking English right now.
    American: No, I only know how to say, “I don’t speak English” in English.
  18. Sahara (The most-recognized answer– based on both on- and off-line guesses)

  19. Just a little bit louder, because this song is intended for humans, okay?
  20. Music and Lyrics

Titles Represented:

  • The Emperor’s New Groove
  • Stranger Than Fiction
  • Undercover Blues
  • Hallmark’s Arabian Nights
  • Enchanted
  • Amazing Grace
  • Oklahoma!
  • Music and Lyrics
  • Sahara
  • Kate and Leopold

Names

It never ceases to amaze me how much of a character will “spring” from finding the perfect name.

In writing the book I’ve always wanted to read (somebody help me with the credit on that line), I knew I wanted to have at least one family whose child-bearing pattern would actually match that of a pre-birth control era.

You ever notice how few children are in most folktales?

As a storyteller/writer I can appreciate trying to keep things simple for the sake of the story, but I feel that (especially in the space a novel allows) the reality of the era ought to overshadow a bit our subconscious expectations.

So I planned for two of my major (not main) characters to be siblings from a big family, then I sketched out time line that would have their mother pregnant at intervals reasonable for the era.

This allowed me to set them into the birth-order in ways that explained some of their behavior (very fun) but left me needing to create at least names for all these other children.

I finally did that today, and I was surprised at how much I could get from nothing more than a name/birth-order combo. A short sampling of new “extras”:

  • The stolid oldest son of average intelligence who enjoys working with his father
  • The “joker” younger son who embraces the role of “village idiot” and uses what he learns (his part looks like it’s definitely going to grow— another spontaneous creation)
  • The “invisible” middle child (even his name is boring)
  • The sweetness of a little girl who becomes her brother’s first failed rescue and undeserved guilt. (This sets up a whole character arc).

This all falls under background work, and may never see the light, but (especially the bit with the little sister) it clarifies a major character’s background and motivation and clears the way for better writing.

I love playing with names.

Oh, and remember the event/age matching I mentioned before? A very kind friend did make me a custom Excel program, and it’s been awesome.

I’m still working at entering formulas to calculate dates (rather than dates themselves, in case I end up needing to move something), and adding events and individuals.

This program allows me to include more characters in the calculations (since I don’t have to iterate everything out for each minor player), and helps me better keep track of everyone.

It enables me to seriously juggle this huge family and quickly compare where new people fit in.

Thanks Tom!