New things to be, to do, to try.

Reminders of things I’m not, I can’t, or am afraid of.

I mentioned a while back that my world has changed significantly in the last 6 months.

Isn’t it interesting (she said with an eye-roll) that no matter how much changes, there is still more to do.  But then, according to some people, if we got it all figured out we’d be done living.

I say I’d be willing to test that theory.

Since June I have:

• Achieved and maintained a healthy weight (nearly 3 months at goal, now).
• Learned loads of new recipes
• Established a baseline for homeschooling
• Begun extra-curricular activities for the children
• Learned that I am capable of discipline and a species of consistency
• Learned that I respond well to a clear plan

I have not:

• come up with any effective laundry system (we still need two weeks worth of clothes per person)
• established a regular “creative” time with the kids
• retained the motivation to follow one of my beautifully thoughtful schedules more than two days in a row
• ingrained how to spell RECIPE with only one ‘i’

~ ~ ~

Sitting on the edge of a new year I’m aching again to craft the perfect document that will for once keep me on-track through this hack at a new beginning.

I’d been toes-off-the-edge-of-the-diving-board several days when God brought me Sunday to this passage in Deuteronomy 7 :

¹⁷ “If you say to yourself, ‘These nations are greater than I; how can I drive them out?’ ¹⁸ do not be afraid of them. Be sure to remember what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and all Egypt: ¹⁹ the great trials that you saw, the signs and wonders, the strong hand and outstretched arm, by which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you fear. ²⁰ The LORD your God will also send the hornet against them until all the survivors and those hiding from you perish.  ²¹ Don’t be terrified of them, for the LORD your God, a great and awesome God, is among you. ²² The LORD your God will drive out these nations before you little by little. You will not be able to destroy them all at once; otherwise, the wild animals will become too numerous for you.  ²³ The LORD your God will give them over to you and throw them into great confusion until they are destroyed. ²⁴ He will hand their kings over to you, and you will wipe out their names under heaven. No one will be able to stand against you; you will annihilate them.”

God, on the power of his reputation, is assuring His people that nothing needs to intimidate them.

He has a plan that ends with all objects of intimidation being removed; but it’s not quickly, and not because He lacks the power.

²² The LORD your God will drive out these nations before you little by little. You will not be able to destroy them all at once; otherwise, the wild animals will become too numerous for you.

I think of all the faults, flaws and failings I want gone. NOW.

Then in the back of my mind is the story of the fellow who was freed, only to end up worse than before.

If (as I’ve tried in New Years past) I attempt too many changes at once I will, best case synario, fail at some rather than all.

At worst I cease to maintain even that which I’ve wrestled into reality.

I believe God was showing me his “order of operations” and generously sharing His reasons. I believe God promises victory over all that would make His people ineffective, but also that he’ll not give me “lands” faster than I can maintain them.

It’s a twist, I suppose, on the old line about God not giving us more than we can handle; I just never thought of freedom(s) in quite that way.

…The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in.