Category Archives: Events

Question about a name.

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Okay, can everyone please answer this one:

What do you think of people adopting an alternate, “performance,” name?

Would you want to know the “real” name at the same time, and/or does that make things cluttered?

I think I mentioned I’m telling stories at a local Renaissance Faire at the end of this month, and I’m making costumes for my kids and me.

I’ve never been to one before.  I know some folks are uncomfortable with the idea– because of the potential for weirdness, I guess– but I’m jumping at the chance to do a dress-up day with my family.

It’s a trial-run sort of a faire, the first in town, I understand, and whether it goes anywhere will depend on the reaction to this one.  I hope by making stories available I can contribute to its success.

Since “Amy” is such a modern name I was considering taking an alternate name for the faire, and then (as my mind invariably does) I tracked that question into a bigger one: whether to build a storyteller-persona of sorts.

That is, for the many traditional or medieval tales I love I could play at being a teller of the day.  It’s a fun thought.

Okay, okay  I’ll say the name (it’s probably a bad sign if I can’t even get started.)

Though I have this idea that if I were once convinced in myself this was the way to go, I could “own” it with little difficulty.

Lady Jane.

I wanted to do Byrd Janet.

Janet from my middle name (Jane) and Byrd from the old way of addressing a lady.  It would be the same as saying Lady Jane, but somehow my ear likes the other better.  This would be due to my familiarity with the rhythm of the name in the story of Tam Lin.  (I am currently Miss Amy to children, so it’s not that much of a stretch, in theory.)

But Jay insists I use one of my real names, so Lady Jane is all I could come up with, really.  Any other suggestions?

I’m not sure “lady” is even the right thing to call a storyteller, but I could really think of another title.   Storyteller Jane?

What do you think of the alternate-name idea?

Could you call me (or hear me refer to myself as) Lady Jane with a straight face?

Would it add to the package or be distracting?

Honoring my Mother

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Well, in case you missed it, I was invited to give a 5-minute (re- and re-emphasized: Five-minute) talk about my mom at her church today. Mother’s Day.

I called the pastor to clarify his goals and was able to organize the following talk. It was really hard to begin, looking right at her and knowing how she dislikes being the focus, but once I started in with the actual words of the poem I was in control of my voice for the most part. Though I did have to pause a few times.

I’m here today to honor you.

I’m blessed to have this poem apply to my husband and dad, too, but this morning it’s for my mom:

These words are from the poem, “Love” by Roy Croft.

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

[And then I must change it a bit to say,]

You have done it
With a touch,
With a word,

You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

© Roy Croft (1907 – 1973).

I am proud to say my mother is my friend, and I hope she is too. Beginning when I was young, my mother’s availability, acceptance, and ability to challenge me, shaped my assumptions of how friends take care of each other.

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My Latest Challenge

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Yes, my silence since the last post means that I’ve been working on my novel.

I’ve had limited writing-hours and have been focusing on what I’ve thought most-important at the time (meeting the kids last week helped with that).

As much as my dropping stats pull at me, I don’t want to feel obligated to post just to post, so I won’t pretend this blog is *important* to anybody but me.

Speaking of personal stuff, now that it’s past I can tell about my latest “trial and tribulation:”

I twisted my ankle severely on the 18th of March.

I know the date because I had 3 hours of errands to run with my kids that morning, and one of them was to pick up Enchanted on its DVD release date.

Well, we did the three hours of errands and got the movie— all after I jumped off the porch and landed my full weight on the side of my foot— but I must have been building up pain for when I got home.

I got the kids down for nap though I was hobbling by that point.

Afterwards I was under ice with my foot up for the rest of the night, but I don’t think it stopped hurting before 10 or 11.

It was interesting to watch the coping mechanisms pile up.

  • Jay came home early from work and went in late for several days.
  • I learned to quit caring about what the house looked like.
  • We saw Enchanted three. times. before it went back. It was a one-day rental.
  • I bought a higher percentage of fast food while Jay was gone on his (5-day!) snow machining trip.

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Loveliness Fair: Staying Connected Edition

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My article defending “movie dates” is a part of the Loveliness Fair: staying connected edition. The fair is being hosted by Sarah at Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering.

Sarah has woven a thoughtful collection of quotes and scriptures with individuals’ submissions that describe ways those individuals stay connected in their marriages.

I am not Catholic, and not at all likely to convert (sorry, Catholic friends), but I regularly read a number of Catholic blogs because I am encouraged by the organic inclusion of faith and family that colors so much they choose to write about.

If there is one thing that buries my heart, tempts me toward discontent, and puts mud in the cogs of my life, it’s absorbing the worldly idea that husbands, children and home are some sort of “satellite” to my real life (internal or otherwise), rather than part of its core.

I appreciate tracking with people who put family in the proper place.

It’s sort of like hanging out with folks who cook “healthy” without having to think about it.

I figure do reasonably well for my family (especially considering we live in Alaska), but then I go visit people in my own town who are so much better at it than me, and I see what more can be done.

I don’t always want to hear it, and sometimes it is too overwhelming to try and think about one. more. thing. But to get to know “real” people who are doing it is consistently encouraging.

Blogs I read that (I know) are written by Catholics (along with Sarah’s, that I linked above) include:

Talk about planning ahead…

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I bought 3rd grade, middle-school and high school textbooks today.

That bookstore I’ve mentioned *loving* was having a half-off sale today for the last day of spring break and I was there for over two hours, combing the shelves (and, yes, I broke my resolution and bought some things utterly for my own reading).

Several of these were individual illustrated stories or collections of folktales, and so could be argued as for the children/education as well as for me, but a good handful were truly “unnecessary but interesting” books that I got simply because I was curious.

You might say I’m willing to buy outrageously far ahead because of the way I do the math.

I (think I) learned this formula from my mom:

Is the cost of storing the item greater than the cost of buying the item when you actually need it?

Since we don’t buy storage outside our home the question of cost is mostly about space.

With the extra set of bunk beds that have been taking up space in our garage for, hmmm, 5+ years, the calculation has always been right on the edge, but with books there is no question.

We have only one level in our smallish house, but we have a crawl-space under the whole of it.

This means that we literally have no need to get rid of anything we think we might use again— as long as it can go through the hole in the floor (sounds scary, doesn’t it?).

So the question really comes down to organization: whether we can create a system that allows us both to accrue what is needed, remember that we have it, and get it out at the right times.

As I’ve always bought my children’s clothes this way we are already aware both of the benefits and the dangers/drawbacks of this method.

But even with all the challenges it inherently holds, the cost/benefits ratio can hardly be quibbled over while we have any space.

For the nearly 3-foot stack of textbooks and reference materials that will be going under the house (including a *nice* Complete Works of Shakespeare that made up half the cost) I spent $27.50

God’s provision is so good.

Kudos to my Husband

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He corralled three kids for nearly 2-hours worth of shopping and trying-on of things tonight.

He is looking forward to tomorrow when the tables turn and I run herd while he looks throught he discounted Men’s section.

Praising God for His provision and timing!

The new clothes were as cheap as thrift-stores’ and much more efficient, as trying on one shirt or pair of pants gave you the yes or no to everything on the rack.  (Wouldn’t you buy 5 new pair of pants at $1.79 apiece?)

Our old clothes have needed retiring for a while.

The Wailin’ Jennys

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This is the song the ladies opened with last night.

I love the sound, but I think it’s a funny/odd song because I hear “there’s only one way to mend a broken heart” over and over without being sure what they think that one-way is. ;)

Live music is, just. wonderful.

Sometimes I’m surprised to be reminded how much it affects me, and it makes me think again about how I believe we humans are designed for community and to be steeped in music.

A few more videos to show the group’s variety:

Their website is here if you want to see if their latest tour brings them near you (sounds like they have a weird-crazy itinerary this time). You should go listen if you get the chance.

Absolutely worth it.

My Experience Providing Foster Care
(part 3)

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If any of you got the idea I have this grandiose image of myself as a parent, let me assure you I am kept well aware of my humanity.

I mentioned respite care in part 2, and that was the majority of the work we did the two years we were in the program. On alternating weekends we had (usually) the same child, providing consistency for him and us, and occasionally hosted a new or extra child on the off-weeks.

Short-term parenting like this was a fabulous way to feel competent.

We got to share fun-time with our fosters and learn the great stuff our community has to offer kids. Sure we had to deal with the occasional “issue” over a weekend, but nothing like a full-time home.

Then one of our respites needed a new home, and we were eager to take him, as it would be one less major transition in the midst of his current upheaval.

Knowing that this was temporary, and considering our ages (I was 24 at the time), I encouraged him to call me “Auntie Amy” rather than any variant on “Mom.” He seemed eager for a more familiar title now that he was living with us, but I felt playing at mom unfair and somewhat dishonest.

I looked recently at my journals from those months. They became a muddle of case-notes and my own observations.

The day the “honeymoon” was over is in the notes, but God answered my prayers even in that, and our boy didn’t crash too hard, grudgingly realizing that even the fun people have boundaries and expectations.

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My Experience Providing Foster Care
(part 2)

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Looking at it, I realize that I’m not really the most-useful person to know about. I expect very few people will do what I did, and I’m still unfamiliar enough with privacy issues to feel comfortable telling the *really interesting* bits of my experience. (I’m sure the kids would recognize themselves, no matter what names I used).

But it’s a story anyway, and I’m a storyteller. So I just pray it will be useful to somebody.

~ ~ ~

For the record, we stopped fostering just before Christmas 2003. I had an 11-month-old, and was 3-months pregnant with my second daughter. Jay and I decided that, considering the type of children we were working with, we should wait until our girls were older than the fosters we would take in.

We considered it a safety issue. We also felt that we had a responsibility to begin again when it would no longer be a risk to our own children.

Naturally, part 2 begins where part 1 left off.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When my parents entered the new program, they had to take additional classes (beyond the introductory course required of all foster parents). The new system also required more annual hours of continuing education than general foster care.

As another adult living in the household– I was 18 or 19, and attending college by now– I can’t remember if I also was required to attend a certain number of classes, or just invited.

I remember the information from those classes feeling a little like science fiction– theoretically possible, given the context, but utterly outside my sphere of experience.

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