Monthly Archives: May 2006

Jay’s back at work. Real life resumes.

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Everybody’s sleeping at the same time, for the second day in a row.

I still haven’t noticed any particular pattern, other than just now, this everybody being asleep at once. I could get used to this. I like having an hour or two to myself to write and think out of my fingers.

I need to get back to my novel (and music practicing) too. I’m at about 7500 words –13 pages– and still feel the whole process is unreal. I wonder a lot if this subject can make it to 50,000 words, but since it’s mostly for recreation, I suppose I can just write until I’m out of story and then see where I am….

A Time to Cherish

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(Initially posted at Family News)

As long as I’ve had my own child in my arms I’ve been hearing some version of the line from adults my parents’ age (thankfully never from my parents):

“Enjoy it while it lasts, sweetie, it’ll be over before you know it.”Laying aside the fact that I was none of these people’s “sweetie,” the line always bugged me. I had several ready (rude?) responses:

  • If they stopped, well, wouldn’t that be worse?”
  • “Every stage has things you’re glad to get away from too.”

But mostly, I think with my girls the comment didn’t bother me as much as it annoyed me (someone telling me how to feel). I expected to have more kids. I would see this stage again up-close, and for now I was just living my version of “normal.” How many people want (or need) to be told how to be normal?

I have a friend I spoke with over the phone once when we both should have been starting dinner. We talked about being at home, and how glad we were to be our babies’ primary caregiver and the neat things we experience instead of missing. And alternated with that commiserations on the monotony of those days. I loved her summary:

“Every day is so different, and every day is exactly the same.” Continue reading »

“Processing”

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The main problem I see with “therapeutic” writing is how necessary (or, at least, strongly encouraged) it seems to be to focus on the negative you’re trying to deal with/process.

The implication is that you must define and identify it, I suppose.

But for me to do this I must submit myself to the negative feelings that pull at me (both now and during “real-life”), and that seems dangerous. Who surrenders to the mini-whirlpools that pull at their ankles when swimming in unfamiliar waters? Isn’t that just foolishness?

I am experiencing emotions I want to process, I do want to understand myself and be understood, but the cost of (potentially) becoming mired in them still seems greater than the cost of pushing, however muck-footed, through them.

A lot of wordless prayers these days.

Boundaries for Behavior

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I came across this quote while reading an article on the Boundless webzine.

It was written by Susanna Wesley to her son while he was away at college. Apparently he had written to ask her for a list of sins he should avoid while away (?!). I can only presume this was to allow himself a human conscience (that might forget something) rather than invoking divine guidance that would doubtless be more thorough.

She did well though. Instead of making a list of vices she made a list of descriptions. I thought this was great:

Whatever weakens your reason, whatever impairs the tenderness of your conscience, whatever obscures your sense of God, whatever increases the authority of your body over your mind, whatever takes away from your relish for spiritual things, that to you is sin, no matter how innocent it is in itself.