Just now I have only a few things on my mind, but perhaps I’ll add to this later.
I’m talking here about… local things; things I have seen/participated in, rather than the huge things like genocide and child abuse.
(I’d hope those things can go without saying.)
Because today they’re on my mind:
- Smashing cake in your beloved’s face, on the day you vowed before God and Man to honor and cherish him/her until death. I think something dies there. Starting with trust.
- Making course jokes about the wedding night at a bridal shower. I *hate* watching something sacred made cheap. Especially when it’s done at one person’s expence (e.g. embarrassing the bride).
- This is simply unkindness, and has no place among true friends. I’m sorry to say I’ve seen this more than once.
- Clue: if the bride’s toes are curling, you’ve already gone too far
- (Speaking of “things sacred”) Saying to a mother marveling over the perfection of her newborn, “Hard to believe she’s just a little sinner, huh.” (I’m happy to say I’ve never actually heard this from someone with children of their own).
- People saying, “I bet you’ll be glad when they go off to school!” I look these people in the eye and say I’m planning to homeschool. This seems to flummox them into complements for some reason.
I’m happy to say only 3 and 4 have happened to me personally, but you may guess I take flack as a wet blanket on the other two.
I’ve noticed with 1 and 2 people either agree with me or don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. I try to explain my reasoning graciously, and find some people have never thought of it that way before.
Some people get defensive, but those are the types where I tend to question their definition of fun.
If you find pleasure in other people’s discomfort it’s time to reevaluate.